Au Pair? Start here.
Welcome Au Pairs!
It used to be that, if you’d have gotten to this blog and this page, it was probably because you or one of your friends knew one of my Au Pairs. Now, though, the blog has gotten popular enough that you au pairs are finding it on your own. Welcome!
Although this blog was really started for Host Moms and Dads, it has evolved. We’ve begun to include posts about topics raised by au pairs when these issues are relevant to host parents. And, we enjoy the participation of au pairs in the comments too. Please keep in mind, though, that this is mainly a resource for Host Parents. In contrast to you au pairs, who have country-based sites, Facebook groups, and MySpace pages, Host Parents have had, well, zilch. This blog is pretty much “the cluster meeting for Host Parents”.
We could also use some expert Au Pair input. I want to know what topics you wish Host Moms and Dads would think about. And, we’d like your opinions on a variety of AP-HM topics.
The point here is to figure out the ‘best practices’ of Host Moms & Dads so that we can have great relationships with our Au Pairs. This can benefit you, because if you can have a great relationship with your host parent(s) you can make your adventure as an au pair even better!
I think the best way for me and other Host Moms & Dads to learn how to be better at the whole business of having an Au Pair is for us to be able to see things not only from our perspective, but also from the perspective of Au Pairs.
And that’s where you come in. If I post a “Question to Au Pairs” post– add your comments! If I send out an email asking for advice, send me your opinion!
Please join in the comments on each of the posts… making sure to keep in mind the guidelines for commenting that are listed on the “First Visit?” page.
JUST BE SURE to protect your privacy, your Host Family’s privacy, your Counselor’s privacy, and your friends’ privacy by not revealing too many specific details.
Thanks for your comments– email me at Mom@AuPairMom.com.
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What do you expect to be an Au Pair? & Why you want to be an Au Pair? I’ve talked with 3 families. They had asked these questions. The three times that I answered them, I said that I want to be an AP because I want to improve my english skill and I like children and I think it’s a good combination.
Whe they ask me about what I expect, I answer that I want a family that treat me like another member of the family.
I’m not sure about is this the answer that they want to hear.
Why do you think about my answers?
Hi…I’m going to give you an answer as a Host Dad (HD) and hopefully this can give you some insight as to how we view the whole situation.
Host families are looking (generally) for help. Cultural exchange aside, we live in a modern world where childcare is very expensive and in the USA, usually both the HD and Host Mom (HM) have to work. Having an Au Pair become part of our family and assist us in doing this is a great thing. Problems arise when a truly honest, open, and complete exchange of expectations at the beginning are not done. If there are any expectations by either the Au Pair or the Host Family (HF) they need to be voiced.
As an Au Pair, you need to ask the HF for a written copy of your HF’s guide book of rules and expectations. This should be done BEFORE either party makes any commitments. That way any misconceptions can be addressed and any expectations can be discussed.
Having the opportunity to have someone come in as an addition to our family and to help us raise and care for our family is a huge leap in trust and partnerships between everyone involved.
Start chatting as soon as possible…get all expectations out in the open…and above all, do not commit unless you make sure you are happy with the HF’s house rules and expectations (to include duties, schedule, etc).
can anyone point me in the right direction of a company or website the specifically pairs Au Pairs with familys who have special needs children? I am an american Au Pair, looking to work in Europe with a family who’s child could benefit from my experience with special needs children, and I’m having a tough time finding a way to find these families. Any help/advice would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!
Amber
Though it may not be wanted I am going to just offer some information. While it is wonderful that you want to be matched with a child that is special needs you can almost safely assume that the family is not hiring you at all to teach the children/child English. This also means that their child with special needs will speak the native language of the country and the parents will also probably use the native language at home. In my experience most Aupairs from America or any English-speaking country that do not speak the language of the desired country only get hired to teach the children English. What I am basically saying is that you might be best off applying for an aupairship in the UK if you are looking at Europe. If you speak another language as well then definitely apply to a country that speaks said language, but I doubt your chances of getting a family with special needs children AND don’t require prior knowledge of their language. Unfortunately I don’t know of any specific agency for families with special needs…but, I would try applying directly to an agency in that country (instead of going through an American agency that deals with the foreign agency) and specifically list that you are only interested in working with special needs children.
Hi,
If you aply at a agency, you have to make a folder about yourself with al your experience! So if you have special care experience, the change of being matched up with a family that needs special care is pretty big. I’m a au pair with special care experience and have been spoken with to different families both how needed a person with that kind of experience.
But I’m from Europe and living in the USA now and taking care of a special care needed child…
So you should probably get more children to take care of so you can teach them English as well!
Aupair mom, is nice to find a place like these, at the moment im I am in the early stages of my application as Aupair in America. i have been reading a lot of posts, and it have been very interesting and helpful.
To be honest reading the perspective of HM and HD makes me feel more committed to my role and also gives me a little scared because my oral English skills are not the best, then I wonder there will be families with a willingness to help me in this?
I really want a family how incluide me as part of it and these is based in comunication, so im concerned that my english skill afect this.
Hey!
Stumbled across this blog today, and I think it’s great. I think I’ve been a little disillusioned about the whole au pair process though. I’m 20 and from Australia and would love to do something like this next year – I have the experience and LOVE working with kids. However, I’ve read many complaints about certain large au pair companies (starting with a C…?) and it’s sort of brought me down. I know it takes two to tango (so to speak) and often the problem can lie with the aupair, or with the family, etc. But can anyone suggest a reputable aupair company that they haven’t had any problems with? thanks!
Cultural Care aka CC(AP) has work just fine for me. Pretty efficient, pretty cool tools, though matching it’s quite an stressing time for all parties involved I believe
(Then again, maybe that process is the same in all agencies, so who knows…)
I think the most important thing to consider is that in the end all the agencies must go by the same rules. Most complaints i’ve heard from both APs and HFs had to do with not getting what they expected in the match (ie one or other of the parties lied int the application or renneged on agreements after the match) and this can only be sorted out by the interviewer/interviewee. The agency may or may not do a great job of vetting applications (checking references etc)but in the end you are responsible for talking to the other party to sort out fact from fiction.
1) Get all the details you can in advance. Ask to see a sample schedule, find out how “fixed” it is (will it change during the summer or every week – get this answer in writing in case problems come up) Ask for their handbook (if they have one) and READ it cover to cover. Translate where needed and ask questions about anything you don’t understand. Ask to speak to their current AP but take what says with a grain of salt. She may have an axe to grind if she wanted to extend but they said no. If they are having issues with her and don’t want you to talk to her, talk to the one before her or their LCC. If they don’t want you to talk to anyone, that’s a red flag. Remember, this is a job. You need to have a clear idea of what you’re getting into.
2) Be honest in your application and during the interview process. If you walk to work or take the bus and sometimes use your Mom’s car once a month, don’t put that you’re a daily driver. If you smoke, don’t lie and then try to cover it up when you get here (we can smell it you know!) If you have never really taken care of kids, get some experience – don’t make it up. This isn’t McDonalds and OJT won’t cut it. Listen carefully to the question the family asks and get a feel if they are the family for you. Don’t take the first family you meet just because you want to move quickly. You will get out of it what you put into it.
Remember, there is a lid for every pot. Take your time and do due dilligence. Agency won’t matter if you do.
Hi from one aussie girl to another!
I am a current AP in my 2nd yr in America, and having the best time. I currently look after a 2 yr old boy with cp and a 4 month old baby girl who I have been caring for since she was 5days old.
I changed families at 7months because I had a few issues with my then HM ( corporate lady ) however I had a fantastic relationship with the children and good one with the HD.
But it has been an amazing experience and I highly recommend trying it.
If you are looking for an agency they agency I came over through is Student Placement Australia they offer a Au Pair program with a company called CHI in America. I found them to be a little more personal then CC as I have an aussie friend here who came with CC.
studentplacement.com.au/programs/usa/au_pair
AuPairs International is a pretty good company that worked for me.
My first match did not work out and I have received great assistance and support from the agency in finding new family. Now, I live a a wonderful home with family that loves and appreciates me very much. I am sure I will extend my second year with them.
This is my view, I want to work as an au pair again (I have been to Austria and Crete) because I love travelling, love to be around children and teach them things, see what a different culture and language/delect is like. I love the idea of learning new skills, and I do feel working as an au pair before I have learnt some valuable parenting skill like how to care for children in their home and fully meet their individual needs, I have learnt alot about how children live in the moment, that they love simple games and activities, that young toddlers love to repeat things everyday. That children can teach us things to, like to slow down and relax more, they teach us adults to have more fun and enjoy life, children teach us to see the positive in the simple things. There are many more than this that I could mention and this the main reason I wish to work as an au pair or a nanny, children bring out the best in us!
I want to say I am coming to America with Expert Au Pair agency from England, I should soon get Host Families contacting me for a phone interview and I agree that it is important to take your time and ask them lots of questions, also ask them if they can provide references and contact information of their past au pairs.
Hi Vicky,
I am from Wales and I have just been matched with a family through APIA. If you have any questions about the interview and stuff let me know! I go to the states in March and I am so excited!
Yes please, could you tell me what the interview process is like? as I haven’t gone to America before and I worry about scams.
thanks
No Problem. Well you will usually be contacted first through email, the family will give you some information about themselves and will most likely want to arrange either a phone or Skype interview. I would be careful to really consider the information that they have given you regarding the number and ages of the children that they have. It might all look great on paper, but the actuality of having say three kids under the age of 5 is not going to be all plain sailing. If you feel happy that you want to invest more time into getting to know the family arrange a time for them to call.
When they do call try and have a list of questions that you would like to ask. Going through the archives of this site is really useful to find ideas of what to ask. Make sure you find out about the kids schedules and when you would be able to complete the educational part of your year etc…Just try and be yourself, answer honestly, the family will like the fact that you are honest from the beginning so they won’t be faced with any unknown problems when you arrive.
Don’t say yes to the first family if they don’t seem like the right fit, it’s better all round if everyone feels 100% confident in the match.
Expert Au Pair is one of the regulated Au Pair programmes, so you shouldn’t need to worry about scams.
Thank you “Welsh Au Pair” for your advice, I will definately take it into account all that you have said. It is very helpful to me, as though it isn’t my first time working as an au pair I feel unsure about what the experience would be like to live in America. I do know it is important to ask lots of questions when I talk to the family and I am prepared for it.
my advice: find out if family lives in the area with adequate public transportation or if you will have a car available to you for monthly meetings and college and may be occasional (in-town) use.
Many families are not happy to share cars for AP’s private use and if they live in a suburbs of some town without any public transportation (quite possible), then you are doomed.
Hey guys, I love reading all of your posts, it’s so interesting to get perspective from both APs and HFs.
but I’m worried that I’m going to be nervous on the phone and that’ll affect what the HF thinks of me. Is it bad to be nervous on the phone?
I haven’t gone through an agency, and have not been an Au Pair before (though I’ve had tonnes of Childcare experience!). I will be having my first chat with a potential HF tomorrow, and I’m quite nervous that I won’t say the right thing or that I’ll start babbling or that I’ll basically just ruin it.
I’ve prepared some questions and things as well as had a look at your three questions post
Also, for any HMs or HD that may be reading, what’s one thing that would put you off an AP on a first chat?
I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be nervous. If you have your questions written down then that’ll help with your nerves
Also, if the conversation goes well but you think you were still a bit nervous, then i’d suggest emailing them and saying that you enjoyed chatting to them and aplogise if you spoke a bit fast or with a thick accent because you were a bit nervous. I know i tend to talk fast when i’m nervous and being an aussie sometimes the accent can get a bit thick 
Thank you so much for your reply Chev, that’s made me feel a little more at ease
Hi!
I am new to the au pair process and am currently signed up on the website Au Pair World (Seems to be the best website I’ve found yet). I have had families email me and am interested however my confusion comes with the next step.
I sent a response email to one family saying I was interested and that I still had some questions. I proceeded to list about 12 questions ranging from activities in their town, convenience of walking vs driving in town, town’s safety, what the kids like for activities and what they themselves enjoy, what a typical day was like… to what they pay each week and if they could help me with my plane ticket.
These were all questions that I was curious about but I am worried that I was too forward about the money situation. I did not want to come off as being selfish but it is a major factor for me because I will be a post grad student with loans and ambitions.
So my question is: Was I wrong in choosing the content of my first email? What do you suggest I do in responding to other families? Also I can speak basic Spanish and attempted to write in it… should I stick to English?
Thanks!
Christina,
I agree, AuPair World is a great site to begin with, and I applaud you for taking the first steps towards becoming an AuPair. I’ll offer my opinion here, as a host parent who has had five au pairs to date. Your questions are fine, and all relevant to you in choosing the right family, but if I were you, I’d wait until you’ve started a correspondence with a family–if I’m reading your post correctly, it was your first response (hopefully the family had also contacted you, not just the built-in automated reply that is sent by APW when you indicate you’re interested in someone). It depends on what country you’re interested in becoming an au pair – if the family speaks Spanish and indicated they’d like an au pair with this knowledge, definitely use Spanish. If you’re planning on coming to the US, the salary is fixed and already pre-determined, and you MUST be accepted with and apply to an approved agency, who pays for your airfare. Any host family here in America who offers to pay your ticket and not use an agency is violating immigration laws, and you would be at great risk of being deported, not to mention have no protection if they do no fulfill their promises, wouldn’t have medical insurance, a support network, etc. Yes, you will likely have to pay a fee to apply, or post a “good faith” deposit which is normally returned upon successful completion of your contract, but I would argue that it is better than fronting money for a plane ticket for something that may not work out. American families are pre-screened and interviewed by the agencies, as well, so in most cases you should not be sent to a situation that was not up to standards. I suggest that you read the sections on APW website or search the web for AuPair contracts in different countries; they also list the usual salaries for various locations, number of hours of work per week, etc. Carefully read the family description and base your questions on facts that are in their profile, until you have exchanged several emails or have spoken by phone or Skyped with them. Hope this is helpful, and good luck.
Thank you MommyMia for your advice.
The family and I had already sent two interested automated messages and then they sent me a personal email. It was in response to that message that I listed the questions and am now waiting for their response. So like you said I hope it was relevant but from now on I will try to initiate a more personal correspondence.
Normally how many emails do you share with your au pair before calling it a match? Are there any other steps I should be aware of? I’d like to skype but my Spanish isn’t good, should I offer to skype but mention my speaking level of their language?
Also I live in America but I am looking to au pair in Spain. I have found that in Spain families don’t assist with the plane ticket but I am hoping to get lucky since it would significantly help me out..
Thanks again!
Hello Christina, I went to work in Greece last year and they don’t have any au pair agencies, so I went on chance mainly to work with a family in crete. They were very lovely people and they could speak, write and understand alot of English so I was at an advantage that there wasn’t too much communication difficulty. But there were still moments when we struggled to understand somethings either of us said and we had lots of misunderstanding, also the family had an advantage that if they didn’t like certain things I did they could speak in Greek about me either when I was in the room or behind my back often. My advice to you is that find out as much about the Families in Spain as you can, ask as many questions as you an in email and on the phone or skype. Find out as well if they have any requirements that you must do, house rules and find out as much as you can about their lifestyle, about their family like even the relationship they have with the kids grandparents, uncles and aunts. As I found I made a big mistake of not finding out as much as I could about the family before I went to Crete. As I thought they would only require me to live with them for a year at the most when they spoke to me by email and on the phone, but soon after I arrived she told me she wanted an au pair to stay for 2 years. My Host Mom made it sound like we would travel and go outside often, but from the very start we never did any of the great things she described to me on the phone conversation. Then the other problem that she never made clear, was that she wanted her au pair to be like a teacher and teach her 2 year old daughter about Numbers, Alphabet, colours, reading and other such skills. I went to Crete with the knowledge that we would be a good match and that I would enjoy the experience. But I found I got bored of staying at the apartment everyday 6 days a week, I looked after the child until 10 pm at night. Also I found out not until near the end of my stay, that my Host Mum liked to be the only one to discipline her child and so I felt bad for even trying my own discipline methods.
So it is best to find out as much as you can before you go live in another country as an au pair, from my experience of going to Austria and later Crete it is very important. As both times I loved the children, but I was unhappy and felt lonely with no friends and we were not a perfect match for each other.
As you are worried about talking on skype in Spanish, then tell them politely that your Spanish is not very good and that you would prefer to speak in English. But it is best to speak slow and clearly, as it is very common that European Families struggle to understand accents, certain words and they will most definately tell you to repeat what you said if they don’t understand something. Which I personally have found very annoying and when I have to say it again I can loose my confidence and feel like I can’t do it. Oh yeah and it is best to go with an agency because when I went to Crete I had no friends and I felt so lonely, isloated though I was in a city and much like a stranger even though I was there for 8 months. I also didn’t have good internet connection to talk to my family in England and so I read books or magazines that I found.
I also didn’t really like the culture that much and so it made me feel comfortable, so that is another things make sure that you will be happy in a new environment and different culture, that you will like the area as well. I hope you will read this, I am not trying to scare you, just being honest about European countries and my view on it. I hope this has been helpful to you.
*uncomfortable* I mean
hi! there! where can i apply as a Au pair in a European family?
I am always trying to give the best advice for my aupair candidates.
This blog is very helpful and so much good advice in the comments too.
Thank you for sharing your experiences, it means a lot for people who are new to this.
I’m an American looking to be an Au Pair in Europe. I started the process of searching for a Host Family in December of 2010 and found a great website called http://www.aupair.com/. It is very straight forward, you create a profile with basic information about yourself and from there you can either search the families or they can search for you. There is a feature called “Hotlist” which is similar to “Like” on Facebook. Hot-listing a family notifies them you are interested in discussing the possibility of working together. Also, of course there is a automated messaging feature as well. Vice versa for families looking to host an Au Pair.
Information on the family profiles include where they’re from/live, contact information, family info (how many children, languages spoken, if they have pets ect.); job requirements (how long they would need you, preferred nationality, how much they would pay, ect.) All great stuff!
It is free to create a profile. However if you wish to be what is called a “Premium Member” which allows you to view COMPLETE address details and contact info of the families, it is about a $55 charge (39 euro) for a 3 month access. Totally worth it I think; having that information comes in handy when sending email after email becomes tiresome and you want to have a chat on the phone! (which is a great way to get to know your family and create a bond right off the bat)
Since I’ve started, I have found a fantastic family in Germany. We’ve been in contact for about a month now and I’ll be leaving in 3 weeks, I am beyond excited! We’ve made a connection and are on the right track for a successful match; I owe it all to the site! I would definitely recommend it to any prospective Au Pair who is just starting out!
Good luck to all and happy searching
I was just wondering about something. I am from canada and looking to be au pair in greece. I know they don’t have a au pair program so what do i do to be able to go there?
does anyone know or have a helpfull website i can look at?
Thanks so much
I am also from Canada, and I am going through an agency to Scotland in June. it is called Scotia Personnel LTD. Unfortunately I looked and they don’t have anything for Greece, Italy is the closest.
http://www.scotia-personnel-ltd.com/
Not sure where you are in Canada but, I enjoyed going through this agency. They were very helpful .
Hi everyone,
I work for an au pair agency in Ireland called Careway and we help au pairs from all over the world find great au pair jobs in Dublin and throughout Ireland. So contact Careway Ireland if you would like to come and work in Ireland as an au pair. Chat soon.
Hi!
I’m going to be an au pair in Australia in June. I’m super excited and started a blog to talk about my experience and connect with other au pairs! If anyone’s going to be in Australia this summer email me or check out my site
Hey everyone, I’m trying to be an au pair in USA. And is being very hard to me all the process. Because I’m avaliable to the families since the end of December, and till now I just had two notifications and none interview. It makes me so sad. Because have so many girls from here (Brazil), that in their first week online already get a match. And I couldn’t get even a simple interview
. In my childcare experience isn’t bad. I was a nanny for 23 months, of 3 kids (differents ages). I helped in my church for 2 years or more. I have a valid license driver. 51 pictures on my profile and a video. I’m 20 years old. I have been very patient, because is so hard to wait so long 
. I have asked help for my local agency, but they just say to me wait. But I never have seen nothing similar. I’m almost more than 5 months online on APC, and I don’t know what is happening. So like my agency can’t help me, I’d like to know in the opinion of the host families what is wrong with my profile? What are the families looking for? Thanks.
Sad… :/ is the same situation as mine but you’ve been waiting longer… how awful :/
Marta,
You should try aupair-world.net. Also, the guide to writing a bio on sittercity.com is VERY HELPFUL. It puts all of your experience into one nice paragraph if you follow it. Hopefully that gets you some more replies!
I’m not new at this blog… I have like a month or something…
I’m writing here because I’m kinda getting desperate because I’ve been with cultural care for 2 months now and I have only gotten the same match twice and this family didn’t even give me an interview and I REALLY FELT like that was the perfect family… It was like they were looking specifically for me … but they didn’t even give me the oportunity to have an interview. Cultural Care says that they have been having a hard time trying to reach that family, I suppouse they don’t even notice I’m there…
So the reason why I’m writing this is because I urge to get a family, and not because I want to go to the US RIGHT NOW! It’s because I was planning to start my college studies on august and I’m planning to get all my papers to leave as soon as possible from now till august, if it’s later than that.. well.. idk but still…
I feel so stupid doing this but please… I’m a male au pair having a hard time to find a family and this is so weird because I’m such a good au pairs, I’m very good with kids, just leave me your kids for 5 mins and I’ll become their best friend…. REALLY! I’m very proactive and I can be very flexible with scheadules (regarding the last topic “saturday night drama”) …
Well… I’m sorry, I don’t do this… I don’t beg for a chance… but if you wanna give me one.. I promise I’ll not let you down
Hey guys,
I’ve just sent off my application with an aupair agency called Swedish Connection which I’ve heard lots of good things about. I’m from Sweden and I plan on being an au pair in London starting in august/september assuming I find a host family.
I’ve wanted to be an au pair for a long time and as I’ve finally finished my University degree it felt like a perfect time to do so. As excited as I am, I’m still a bit worried and a little bit scared. I love kids but I still keep thinking “what I won’t be able to handle it” and I think the thing that scares me the most is “what if I end up with a horrible family.”
Au Pairs: were you ever worried that things wouldn’t work out? Do you have any tips or ideas? I really want to do it and do prove to myself that I CAN do it.
Host Families: Do you have any tips for a future au pair to think about?
There was a london family interested in me.. do you want their e-mail? I didn’t forward them because I’m currently with cultural care to go as an au pair to the USA. And also he didn’t answear some questions… do you want the info?
If you end up with a horrible family –like my current au pair did in her original host family–you will realize it quickly and make a change. You will survive. You will also learn a lot of confidence in your own ability to deal with Big Problems. And you will have a great year.
Things to think about? Be sure you really, truly, honestly LOVE kids, because they are a lot of work and if you don’t love kids you will be miserable.
And please know you probably won’t travel as much as the agency says you will.
And college won’t be like college in the movies.
Don’t watch American sit coms and expect us to be like that.
Learn how to cook and your host mom will forgive many other problems!
thank you for the reply
I really do love kids and cooking is one skill I really have
the way I see it I think I would be a pretty good au pair because I’m not a party-girl, I’m a good listener I learn quickly, I’m reliable, I don’t whine about curfews or having to run the dishwasher, or taking out the garbage, etc, because the way I see it – an au pair lives for free in a family’s house and taking care of their children so the least one can do is to make life a bit easier for the family by doing the smalls things. I honestly don’t get why some au pairs make such a big deal out of it. It solves so many otherwise would-be problems.
I’m looking to become an AuPair after I finish my degree. I’m from the US and looking for countries to go to. Italy, Australia…. any recommendations?
France! That’s where I ap-ed AND I’m still here. Paris is amazing! Go somewhere where you can learn a new language! If you took Spanish in high school, why not try Spain? Or Germany, or Italy of course. Go somewhere you can picture yourself for an extended period of time. I made a mistake and first decided to go with a family in the dead countryside, and it didn’t work out. I know better now- I’ve got to be in the city. If you know you have a preference, go with your preference. Go somewhere warm… I’d love to go to the southern Spanish coast or something. Good luck!
an update for those who might be curious: I’ve just been interviewed by the owner of the agency and she’s going to start looking for suitable host families for me. She said my application was great and that my written letter was wonderful and that she had no doubt I’d find a good family and that she had a few she thought would suit me.
A lot of my anxiety and nervousness is gone and I’m just really excited about the matchmaking process.
Since I’ve had a childhood where I’ve travelled and lived abroad a lot (especially Africa) and since I’ve lived on my own for three years I’ve gained an understanding of the world in a way that a lot of people might not. I’m not saying I understand things better not at all, but I think it’ll be helpful in my au pair experience.
I hope there’ll be a good family out there for me. London – here I come
Those are good news!
The information are all very helpful and i am from germany….and now i am woring in uk as an au pair, the host family treat me very well and i love their baby cute girl, that was my dream to come to uk and now its come true..i am so happy to be here and i wish you guys goodluck.
btw…i really hope you guys successful!!
HI everyone,
I was an au-pair about 10 years ago. I am originally from Europe. Today I live in US permanently.
My experience was horrible – but I don’t want to discourage anyone. It can be fun. I think the culture shock can be too much at the beginning, but once you find a mutual language with your family – you can spend a nice year in US, or like me perhaps stay here forever.
Good luck everyone
Is there a limit on the number of times an au pair can rematch once in the US?
My agency (U.S.) generally limits it to 2 times in one year for both APs and HF, although they will allow more rematches for exceptional situations (HF abusing policies, AP who breaks the law, etc). An AP who can’t settle with a 3rd family is generally sent home, and the HF who repeatedly enters rematch for no good reason is sent packing. (It must be at that point the costs exceed the benefits to the company.)
Hi!
I was an au pair in USA 2008-2009.I really want to do it again.I applied again.First time I was in the CULTURAL CARE AU PAIR,that is really great agency.But they no longer work in Bosnia
.My agency is now Au Pair USA.
I am interested in your experience with Au Pair USA agency???Thank you all
I hope that I will find me host family soon!
I was with Au Pair USA for many years – I am a host mother, I like them a lot, and will definitely try to return to them next year! They are supposed to debut a new on-line matching system for families, that’s a great improvement. They also have a better reputation among host families than your first agency (as a rule).
Dear Anna,
Thank you,it is very nice to hear it.I am waiting for match,hope it will be soon.Even though I had already been,I am still excited.
Hi, I need some advice about my situation here.
On Saturday, one of my host kid had birthday party from afternoon to late and I was in my room the whole time cause I was tired and it was my off day. There’s lot going on on my personal issue as well so I just wanna relax that day. My host mother eventually wasn’t happy about it til now and I kinda feel confuse what should I do/say? She been quite and didn’t talk to me that much as usual especially on our dinner last night other than question me about that if i were sleeping during the party. I suspect she feel like i’m ignoring the family on her son’s birthday. The thing is there’s many people coming over in our house (about 10 kids+parents) for the afternoon party and then later evening we have the family from both parents side (grandparents, cousin, sister, etc) did come over which is too much noise for me. I did come down for a little while checking my host kid and everyone that afternoon and it seems everything looks fine cause everyone is busy playing and have a good time. The worst thing happen i guess I miss the party on the evening where they all celebrate with the grandparents and cousins. What should I do now?
Thank you so much!
Honestly – talk to her – just tell her that you were overwhelmed (meaning it felt to big for you) and that you didn’t mean to be rude or ignore anyone
Basically you might have hurt their feelings (both the parents and the children) and now you need to make that up – the easiest way for you to do that is by putting a lot of effort into the children over the next few weeks – you might have hurt their feelings too – ask them lots of questions about what a great party they had – that you saw that had great fun – maybe do an extra special activity -maybe do a big family dinner
Good luck and let us know how it goes
Hey aupair mom your blog is so cool I am an au pair and I just feel identified with some of the situation you mention,my year until now has been awesome i love it in here
The best place for the Au Pair jobs is UK……. Here there will be no problem regarding transportation or any other problem have to be faced by the aspiring Au pair candidates. I am working for an Au Pair agency and and very much satisfied with my job and the host family………
how about the current situation… is it still safe?
Hello readers, I am an AP, and right now I’m desperate for some advice… I would love some input to know what to do.
Me and my HM don’t have the best relationship, it sails between polite and “barely there” kind of thing. She is a stay at home mom, and i take care of her 4 children, they are younger than 8.
PROBLEM 1:At the beginning of my year, she started changing her ways, because she was annoyed by some things i did, we talked about it, i changed things the best that i can, and I am working really hard. With all the cleaning up after the kids, their rooms, the kitchen, the laundry etc. Even though i have done all these things daily I still struggle to get a good reaction out of her, every time i start a conversation she answers with yes or no replies and then we don’t talk anymore, she only addresses me to give me stuff to do. I don’t know what to do…
PROBLEM 2: i really love her kids, they are wonderful and they are all so different, I play with them all day and we get along very well, they say the love me and we hug and it’s a pretty nice relationship, but they are misbehaved, one of them likes to throw tantrums, and the other two boys are very violent sometimes with each other and sometimes with me. I try to handle these things by myself, but it has gotten to a a point i kind off can’t handle it anymore, HM sees when they disrespect me, and hit me or pinch me and does nothing. ex: yesterday at the pool one of them throws a tantrum because he is tired, i tell him to relax he subsequently throws a ball at my face and then kicks me, he is a 5 year old… I say hey don’t do that to me that’s rude, i’m not even yelling she immediately comes to me and scolds me. In my mind i think am i just supposed to let them hit me and talk to me however they want to?
I am starting to resent my stay here… I feel like I do all the work, and trust me when i say she does nothing(she only cooks and drives them), which is fine, that’s why she is paying me for, but she will give me an attitude every time i make the smallest mistake and not even talk nice to me about it… I dunno how to look at it, I just know that i feel very alone and clueless. Any help??? please!
Hello
Im a debut aupair mom and a little scared at the prospect as I need help at home but I really like my privacy too. Had a bad experience before with an aupair who left after a week crying for her boyfriend from day one( So it couldnt have been anything Id done!!) Anyway she literally sat on my couch and when I opened a glass of wine Id offer her one as I didnt like not to (is this a bad idea?) and she would drink all my wine too!!
How do you share a home but not your entire life (or you wine store!)
please help!
Hi, I have been reading your blog today with interest, I can’t remember where but somewhere you mentioned you would like to find more au pair blogs so families can see it from the other side? Well I have been an au pair in France for over a year now, and have been keeping a blog which also features advice for au pairs. I have selected a random post which is heavily related to au pairing:
http://leftbankmanc.blogspot.com/2010/10/dont-be-skivvy-eating-shit.
I hope au pair moms aren’t too shocked by my blog, I really do love being an au pair and I really respect the family I work for!
To AuPairCr- (the au pair with the horrible host mom and bratty kids) say to the mum ‘you are really making me hate life, you are being horrible, I can not live like this anymore, do you want me to look after your kids, or not?’ if she wants you to stay she will have to be nicer, or she will have to go through the hassle of findng a new au pair and it sounds as though her kids are pretty difficult. If she says ‘no, go’ then you can just leave, knowing you tried your hardest, and afterwards you will look back and think ‘I cant believe I stayed there so long’. Honestly, just tell her!!! I know its hard but she needs to realise she is being a rude horrible person who shouldn’t have so many kids if she doesn’t want to be nice to the girl trying to look after them.
my name is bailey, i am finishing my last year of highschool, and would like to be an au pair for a year in germany before i begin college,
i have basic german language skills only
my question is how long it will take me to find a family, and what most families expect from their au pairs. i love kids and i believe this experience would be great for me, but i do not know an au pair, so i would love first hand advice from someone. what can i expect when i get there?
what are some positives and negatives of being an au pair ?
Bailey,
I am a HM in Germany, so I’ll jump in here:
It is very hard to generalize what families expect and want, as of course every family has its specific needs dependant on age and number of children, family lifestyle etc. Look through the family profiles on the websites – f.e. apworld – to get a better idea.
What is your childcare experience – have you done babysitting? What ages? Be specific in your profile. The experience should not only be great for you, but also for the family.
A word of advice: Before applying, familiarize yourself with the legal parameters of the program in Germany. Often, the enthusiasm of US wanna-be-APs suddenly wanes once they realize how little they will earn. Don’t expect to be paid more simply because you are American!
It should be very easy and quick to find a family through a web site, many parents would like an American au pair. However, those who have had one have sometimes annoyed by their sense of entitlement… So be very clear not only about what you want but also what you can accept – and what you bring to the family.
You might want to try to improve your German a little before going, depending on how basic it is. Yes, most people speak English (it will be harder to get people you meet to speak German with you, they usually enjoy practicing your English), but if your host children are small, they will not!
thank you for your advice
!
i know that the pay will be very small, my reason for going is the experience, not the money.
i am currently working on my german skills. i understand i will need to speek german with the children, i anticipate that.
my biggest concern is feeling over worked, or feeling like i don’t have ebnought time off to enjoy the culture. i have no problem with working, but i don’t want to feel like a slave either. i just want a family that is as excited as i am about this, and is supportive. I don’t think being american gives me any sense of entitlement, or means i will be payed more.
http://www.aupaircare.de/inbound/
this is a link to a company i am considering using.
has anyone used this company before and have complaints or good things to say ?
Bailey,
!
it’s good if you have already informed yourself about the details. I only wrote this because of the experiences I have had with some prospective APs, I am not implying it’s the case with every US AP!
I honestly don’t think you have to worry about being overworked. The legal limit in Germany is 30 hours per week, and while there are always horror stories, the HF I know are extremely fair regarding this limit. My APs have always had plenty of time to explore Germany and Europe.
And if you feel unhappy within the family you are placed with, you can terminate the contract within 14 days, and I’ll bet you money you’ll have found another host family within a week, especially if you are flexible as to region – most US APs seem only to want to live in Munich or Berlin!
Re the agency – other US aupairs may have experiences to share about this agency, I can’t comment. But speaking as a HM again – I would not use an AP that comes through this agency. Why? I don’t like to burn money
! The cost for the HF to use this agency is around 1500 EUR – whereas “normal” agency fees for a HF are 300-500 EUR, or 0 if you go through a website. Bearing in mind that you don’t have to use an agency in Germany, and that the agency doesn’t do much after the initial placement, why should I use them? I can get an English speaking – if that is what I want – AP from the UK at no extra cost through a website.
The tendency among HF I know in Germany is – use an agency if it is an AP from an exotic country or if it is your first AP. Else they tend to search themselves through a website – more choice and much cheaper.
For you as an AP, the agency offer is nice – you get your flight paid (normally you are responsible for this cost) and may have a local representative. But you are much more “expensive” than the average AP, so you limit your choice of families (and the region – this agency operates mainly in Berlin). The families you are offered are probably on the wealthy side, but of course that doesn’t guarantee that they are “good” families…
If I were you, I’d apply to this or another agency, but I’d also “shop around” on a website to see what else is on offer (hint: write your profile in German – it shows commitment).
Best of luck!
Bailey,
GermanHM has some excellent advice for you! It is APs from other countries coming TO the US who need to use agencies, as it is required by our Department of State and offers legal protection to both the families and APs. As she rightly points out, the cost is often a deciding factor between two excellent candidates. We used a German-based website, AuPair-World.net, that I thought was an excellent forum – both the families and girls who posted profiles on there just seemed more professional and serious than GreatAuPair, at least to me. Definitely try out your language skills or post your profile bi-lingually – it does make a positive impression. Ditto that “good luck!”
Thank you, both, for your information
!
I have heard horror stories about au pairs being over worked, not having time off, and feeling stuck.
it was very helpful, and i am taking what you told me seriously , i will work harder in my german classes, and do my best to educate myself for my stay in Germany
hopefully with your advice along with other reaserch, this will not happen to me.
Really, thank you
Are there any au pairs here, or anyone that knows of an au pair that took a gap year before college to au pair ?
If so what was the experience like for you, and was it harder to get back into the school mentality ?
Hi there,
has anyone tried aupaircity at all? i understand its a new website for au pair’s and families its based in the UK as far as i can tell plus it donates money to charities. have a look http://www.aupaircity.com
please come back to me and tell me what you think, i have just registered as we are looking for an au pair.
Thanks Phil
I’m a 23 years old experienced manny from India, trustworthy, reliable, hard-working looking for a wonderful family if anyone interested please mail me at riswaniofd@gmail.com
I’m 23 year old student from Spain who would love the opportunity to be part of a Jewish family working as an Au Pair. I am looking forward new experiences, learning Jewish life and customs and also improve my english!! I’ve recently visited Israel and I was fascinated by the culture!! I’ m responsible, fun and I have had experience babysitting children. If you are interested email me: gem1bcn@gmail.com
Which country are you in?
She says “a major Italian city” so I’d guess Italy!
i am from Philippines.
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