First Visit?

Thanks for coming to check out, “the Cluster Meeting for Host Parents”.

needlefelted-owl-ornament-scratchcraft.jpgIf this is your first (or second) visit to AuPairMom, we’d like to hear about what brought you here and whether you found what you need so that we can make the site work better for you.  Will you take our New Visitor Survey?  It’s 10 quick questions–it should take about 1 minute, 2 if you type in extra comments.

=> Click Here To Take The Survey <=

Thanks in advance for your help ~ Shawn & CV


{Here’s a page on how to navigate all the resources on this blog. If at first you don’t find… keep looking. After 7 years, it’s likely to have been talked about here somewhere!}

Who is this blog for?

This blog was originally intended mainly for Host Moms (HM), because  was writing it from my own perspective as — you guessed it, a Host Mom.

As the blog has evolved, we now welcome Host Dads (HD), Local Community Counselors (LCC), Au Pairs (AP), Nannies and anyone else who is interested in getting advice about how to create a great experience for Host Parents (HPs), Au Pairs, and Families.

However, as much as I will try to look at situations from all perspectives, the benefit of the doubt/advice will go first to Host Parents, since this is a blog for Host Parents.

What’s our approach?

All good AP-HP relationships start with respect.

Respect for each person involved, respect for her or his viewpoints, and respect for her or his experience. We don’t want this blog to be a place where Host Moms/Dads dump on Au Pairs, where Au Pairs complain about Host Moms/Dads, and where bickering prevails. While it’s easy to whinge about how your AP never folds the kids’ laundry quite right, or how she always wants every Saturday night off, it’s a bit more challenging to see things from her or his perspective, to dig deep into your own assumptions and values, and to come up with responses that are thoughtful, kind, honest, and effective.

Comments Policy:

1. Please comment! Share your advice, your questions, and your experience.

2. Seek First to Understand. Jump in after you’ve read carefully, after you’ve made an attempt to see the various points of view already shared.

3. Be thoughtful not only in what you say, but in how you say it. Consider: Would you like your children, your spouse/partner, and/or your AP to hear you say this, in the way that you are saying it? Be fair, be accurate, be willing to listen.

4. Respect the privacy of your AP, your family, your LCC, and other Host Parents. No need to share full names, real names, locations, or other details that might be better off kept private. Feel free to use a ‘nom de Mom ‘ or “designation du Dad” (aka nickname)– just be consistent so that we know each time that it’s ‘you’.

5. Keep in  mind that the comments you make here become part of the blog. By commenting here, you are contributing your insights to the AuPairMom community.  Other readers and commenters may may refer to your comments in later posts and I might excerpt from your comments to craft a new post or to summarize insights. If I ever refer to your comments I will do my very best (memory & search function permitting) to credit you.  And, your anonymity with be preserved if you’ve used a pseudonym  (i.e., I won’t use your name or publish your email).  The blog is now officially copyrighted, in an effort to protect your insights from being used elsewhere, without your (and my) explicit consent.

6. Contact the head Host Mom directly if you have any concerns or questions about comments.

Other notes

Commenters are asked to enter their email addresses when they comment. This way I can get in touch with you if I have questions about your issue or comment, and I can let you know if you are using a nom de mom that belongs to another commenter.  Your email address will not be shared or sold by AuPairMom.

Comments and/or commenters will be blocked:

  • When comments deviate from these general principles,
  • When comments or a commenter are simply unkind,
  • When comments or a commenter aim to sell or advertise products, websites, and activities that aren’t pre-approved by AuPairMom, and where the nature of the sale or advertisement is not completely clear,
  • When a comment is factually wrong or emotionally charged in a negative way,
  • When a commenter requests that her or his comment be deleted.
  • When a commenter behaves offline in an unkind way towards the AuPairMom community.

I reserve the right to block any comment or commenter that, in my opinion, is not contributing to the conversation in a positive way.

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Bring your friends!

Please tell your Host Parent friends to come and participate. The advice will only be as good as the Host Parents who contribute!


marguerite August 5, 2008 at 11:49 am

As a counselor , I have a couple of thoughts. Before your aupair arrives, your counselor can give ( the arriving aupair ) the names and email addresses of other aupairs who have a similiar schedule. There are only a certain number of plots to the novel and there is not that great a variation in the lives most Americans live. Somebody out there has a similiar life.
Your counselor knows who they are.
Once the aupair arrives, the counselor can put the aupair in touch with other aupairs whose lifestyle is somewhat like hers. Sometimes schedule is a greater bond than age or nationality.
I try to write to my aupairs before they arrive.
Lately, a number of aupairs have told me that they have , thanks to the internet , already made contacts and feel socially secure. The advantage of adult input into the networking process is that the counselor thinks of issues just like this one. She is looking at the process from an adult point of view.
Very few host parents have teenage children. At some point in your lives, you will be confronted with the fact that your own children’s friends have vastly different family cultures in terms of assets and priorities. That’s life. Consider this practice.
Frankly, there are many people who use up all of their permitted hours during the week and those aupairs will always have weekends off. There is nothing that can be done about this.
Respectfully, I disagree with the idea of having an aupair work on a Saturday night whether you “really ” need it or not. Aupairs ( and their friends ) are very astute. Nothing causes more resentment than this approach. I had an aupair once who heard her host mother say to her husband ” we have to go out because Lucille only worked 20 hours this week “. Another host mother told me that once her aupair was in rematch , she felt she had to ” get her money’s worth “. Word of these situations got around and every arriving aupair was ” coached by the local aupairs to be on her guard.
You cannot change your life not should you. What I have observed is that some little things go a very long way. For instance , every aupair I know was in awe of the woman who gave her aupair a present on Mother’s Day.

Anonymous September 5, 2008 at 3:14 am

I understand the aupair is human that has needs, BUT guess what, I am working full time and have hired her to take care of my children…I need to get results from my investment…Your job is to keep these ladies SAFE..I agree! BUT I work full time and if these young women except the job, they need to be real and keep the sensitivity down. My workload is heavy and I don’t need to have someone who wants to work a light schedule. —-

Anna December 11, 2008 at 5:09 am

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this blog! I just found it, and I was searching for something like this for months. Maybe you could publicize it more.

Grateful hostmom in VA.

Maya December 15, 2008 at 6:44 pm

I was tipped of to you blog by Anna who also recently posts here.

What a great place to be. Thank you for creating this blog.

Can you advertise more? May be you can send mass email to clusters’ host families. Maybe LCC’s that participate here can do it with their clusters. That would be great getting more people on here. I will mention this blog to my LCC and see if she would be interested in letting other host families know about it.

CV December 15, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Hi Maya-
Thanks for forwarding this link on to your LCC. I’ve been apprehensive about trying to get LCCs and agencies to promote the blog … probably because I feared that they’d balcklist it due to too many anti-agency/LCC comments– but my concerns about complaints have sure been unfounded… so I should probably rethink this?

Anna December 15, 2008 at 6:54 pm

CV, good thought about not promoting through agencies. I agree, it is good that we can feel free here to discuss agencies, or our plans to change them, LOL
I like it being a grassroots effort like you set it up to be.. It will eventially get more popular through the word of mouth..
BTW, here is a link to an article I wrote on au pairs for a russian-language parenting blog/online magazine, also here on wordpress, and I gave a link to your site under “resources”. Here is a link for anybody who is interested and who reads Russian:

Maya December 17, 2008 at 2:00 am

CV, just to let you know, I send my LCC a link to this site and asked her to forward it to other hostparent if she feels comfortable. She said she will. I do hope that other will join this woderfully informative place.

And to make a shameless selfpromosion, I posted a question on ‘Need an advice’ about car and gas costs with au pair, so I hope that I will get some responses for this soon. I would like to implement something starting in January as I have a new au pair (she has been with us for 3 days now).

Thanks again for creating this blog.

Dotty January 19, 2009 at 3:34 am

I’m a host mom on our 2nd au pair. I LOVE THIS SITE! I would love to help in any way.

I’m so glad I found this site. ITs a great blog & i LOVE it. I will say honestly the way its being used is more like a board or forum for discussion. If you want help creating a cool board let me know. Thats my expertise! I’m a web/computer developer by trade…and would love the opportuntiy.


MomLulu February 7, 2009 at 3:37 am

Hi, I am an LCC and I just found this site earlier this week and I must say WOW! I am truly impressed by the information given here and there is both bad AND good. There are so many bad sites out there just complaining… I was an au pair and now am an LCC, because I had a good experience and saw the bad situations too. I love spreading the word about au pairs and helping those who have hard time. There are still so many people that don’t know about this program or think au pairs is just a bunch of illegal immigrants…some bad emails I read… CV, I understand your apprehension about the agencies, but every family considering this needs all the information they can get and I like that here they can learn not only about the bad stuff… And most importantly, hosting an au pair is not suited for everybody. Thank you for this site.

cvh February 7, 2009 at 4:22 am

Hi MomLulu- Welcome and thanks for jumping in!!

About agencies, I just haven’t tried promoting the blog through agencies… although I think I’d be less gun-shy about doing that now. I have been surprised that I haven’t gotten more LCCs sending the blog around to their clusters, and getting subscribers and regular commenters has taken much longer than I thought it would. But now we have critical mass.

I think that it is hard to keep a balance between the good and the bad– it’s a weird twist on ‘All happy au pair situations are unique, but all the unhappy au pair situations are unhappy in similar ways” (sorry Tolstoy)…thus making the unhappy ones easier to share. And no one can understand your au pair gripes the way another host mom can!

But, I think that readers/commenters do a pretty good job sharing advice and reminding us of the good stuff of au pairs. Some of these moms have shared heartfelt, hard earned wisdom … and we’ve only been at this since May!

Jenny April 18, 2009 at 1:52 am

I’m getting near to selecting an Au Pair, I have top 3 Au Pairs. This is so difficult. When she is the one do you still have doubts? Each has one little thing I might change if I could and each seems so perfect in many other ways. I’m terrified and I’m not committing. I’m so afraid of making a bad choice. I’ve gone through ALL of your best interview questions. I’ve asked them all. I feel like the agencies are trying to rush me into a decision, and I will not be rushed. But I know also that I have to pull the trigger at some point. Could some experienced moms give me some advice/comfort/etc? How do I know that I’m making the right choice? How do I know which one is the one? I like the one I’ve invested the most time into, but I don’t want to choose her unless I’m sure I wouldn’t like someone else better if I invested more time. But then again, time is so limited. I’m spinning here in case you haven’t noticed. Could someone stop me and give me some comforting words, please!

A-Mom-ymous April 18, 2009 at 2:13 am

There is no perfect. What might help is for you to forget about your candidates for a moment. List out the top traits/skills that ARE important to you, and the top 3 negatives that you want to avoid at all costs. Then see if that helps you evaluate candidates again. If that doesn’t float one to the top, I have another suggestion:

I’ve never done this for an AP per se, but for similar choices facing our family when no clear winning option arises on its own, I have been known to sit my hub down in a chair with a glass of something, get out our big white board, and make a chart. You put the qualities/traits/skills or other factors that are important to you down one side. Then give each quality a relative weight (1-5 points). Then be brutally honest and evaluate each candidate for each criteria (again giving them 1-5 points for each quality you are evaluating). Then see if what the numbers tell you helps nudge your gut feeling at all.

Someone suggested Skype interviews; I’m going to do that for our next go-round. Seems like you can get a much better feel for a candidate that way, or at least more information about them that might help you.

Good luck! And be happy that you have 3 good candidates. And don’t let the agency push you too much! Our LCC is obsessed with candidates from a certain country, and it drives me crazy. Ignore them. You need to be comfortable with your decision.

A-Mom-ymous April 18, 2009 at 2:15 am

Also, I still feel uncomfortable until about their second week living with us when I can tell if it’s going to work. So maybe you need to re-calibrate your scale! : )

Casey April 19, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Hello! My name is Casey, I’m from Australia and am considering becoming an Au Pair in America but I’ve heard so many bad stories from friends that I only want to do this if I’m confident that I’m going to be placed with a genuinely nice family, I would love some help with how I can assure good potential families that I am would be good for them.

1st: I will be 18 in Feb 2010, how can I assure my potential families that I’m not like most typical young women and will not drink like a fish and go out partying all the time? I understand parents are reluctant to want someone that hasn’t been on the roads very long, how can I assure parents that I am a really safe, good driver?

2nd: I don’t speak any other languages and there isn’t a huge culture difference between Australians and Americans, do you have any ideas to how I can stand out?

3rd: I am not heavily religious but I have some Buddhist values and am Christian orientated, is this something I should be really open about or better to not talk about religious beliefs within the first stages of interviews?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!



Franzi April 19, 2009 at 3:04 pm

casey, you need to know what values you have, and what makes you special. it is this that will attract a good family to your application.

the fact that your english is already flawless is certainly a plus. do you have a hobby (sports, play instrument etc) that could find a potential match in the kids’ interests? where does your childcare experience stem from (eg tutoring)? that can also be a highlight in your application.

make sure you have a nice picture (one that also appeals to kids), submit a clean application with no typos, and have a set of questions you want to ask the families.

there is never a guarantee that you will have a perfect match. but if you ask enough questions, talk to the former AP if there is one, talk to all family members, and don’t pressure yourself to make a decision, then you should be happy with your decision.

Dawn April 20, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Jenny, I feel your pain! The selection process can be such a stressful time — it really is a huge “leap of faith” to invite someone to become part of your family and care for your precious children, based solely on one or more phone conversations! If you are still trying to sort out which “criteria” are the most important to you (in terms of the ways each of your three candidates differ), feel free to post here and I’m sure that several of us will be happy to offer our opinions. Ultimately, though, if you have 3 candidates who are about equal in your mind, maybe you just need to go with your “gut.” Is there one who stands out in your mind for some intangible reason that you really can’t point to, but you just “feel” it? Is there one that you would feel you “missed out on” if your agency called to tell you that another family had selected her? If so, then that’s the one I’d go with. If you don’t feel that way about any of them, then maybe NONE of them are the right one. What arrival date are you hoping for? Do you still have time, or are you getting down to the wire? I think I was probably the source of a lot of stress for our agency’s placement manager during our last selection process, because I rejected several candidates who seemed truly terrific (for someone else’s family), but just didn’t seem like the right “fit” for us. But I’m glad I was as picky as I was because our current AP is the best one we’ve ever had — about as close to “perfect” as anyone could hope for!

Casey, honestly, the fact that you are from Australia and speak English as your first language will help you stand out to a lot of families. (As opposed to being a negative.) In terms of the driving, is there any kind of “safe driving” course offered in your area? If you took a class like that, that’s something you could mention in your “Dear HF” letter that might help parents feel more comfortable with your driving skills. Also, I’m not sure what kind of childcare experience you have, but if any of it includes driving children to school or activities or whatever, that could be something you emphasize in your letter (and perhaps ask your references to mention). The fact that other parents trust you to drive their children will help increase the comfort level of potential host families. In addition, there are some host families that don’t need (or even allow) their AP to drive their children places, so the driving would be a non-issue for them. In terms of your religious views, I don’t think you should hide OR emphasize them — basically, be honest on your application and in your responses to any questions in interviews, but if you don’t feel like your religious views are a significant part of “who you are,” you probably don’t need to mention them in your letter, for example. (If they ARE an important part of “who you are,” then you should mention them — any family who would reject your application because of your religious views is not a family you’d feel comfortable with anyway!)

Mom of 2 Girls April 20, 2009 at 10:25 pm

I think you’re asking some very relevant questions and you sound like you’d be perfect for many families. Sometimes we’d rather have someone with perfect English who’s enthusiastic and energetic over the cultural aspect (although your country has many wonderful things to share with a US family). You will find that adapting to driving on the opposite side of the road will come quickly, and as Dawn says, the religious aspects will either matter or not to a Host Family and you’ll discover right away if that’s a huge thing to them. Have you decided which agency you’re going possibly going to go with? You might look on this site for the address for a website that compares the different ones (I can’t remember the name just now, possibly AuPair Clearinghouse?- one of the women who works for it has posted comments here. As long as you’re open and receptive to a learning experience, I think you’ll have no problems. I wish you luck, and hope you have a wonderful experience in the US.

Jenny April 23, 2009 at 3:19 am

Dawn & A-Mom,
Thank you for your feed back, and for simply understanding. It feels so good to not be alone and I have a feeling I will be a BIG fan of this site.

I’m down to 2 candidates now.
They both totally click with us, with the kids, we’ve done Skype and talked to them both on the phone several times. They have not asked “what’s in it for them”. Both are so warm and loving and both have extensive child care experience with kids my age. Both have excellent English and a teaching heart. Both of them know the extensive list of duties, laundry, cleaning, organizing, planning that I want them to do for the kids and they both think it sounds great. Both are happy to let the in laws use their room when they visit from across the country, even though they don’t have to.

Qualities that are different:
“S” is 21 years old, “J” is 19 years old. S has never watched 3 children at once and I will be having a baby in Dec + I have 2 girls (2 & 4). J has watched 3 children but only for 4 hrs at a time. Both are very confident that they can do it, they both know it won’t be easy, but they both really want to do it. S has been working as an apprentice in a hotel for 3 years. Long, crappy hours, graveyard shift, etc. (my opinion not hers), J has been going to school full time for business. J seems more educated but S seems more hard working. Not too say that the other seems undeucated or lazy, at all. J has a boyfriend, S does not. J is the youngest of 2 kids-she has a sister 10 years older. S is the 3rd youngest (there is only a year each between the first 3) of 4 kids, with a brother 10 years younger, she’s had a lot of responsibility for his care from the beginning. J has wanted to be an Au Pair since she was 16, S found it on the internet a few years ago. S is open to extending, J is not really. S has been driving 3 years to J’s 2 years. S has her own car, J does not. Both only drive a stick and will need to learn an automatic.

What would I change about them? S would have had experience watching 3 kids so when she says she is up for the challenge, she knows what that challenge is. J would have more work experience, working for a boss more. Although J has watched three kids, I’m not sure 3-4 hrs here and there, make up for the lack of work experience. The interesting thing, many of the girls that I have contacted who have watched 3 kids aren’t really open to having a 3 month old, 2.5 year old, and 5 year old. These two both really want to.

I’m not posing any of these things specifically as a negative, because like I say, I love them both. They will both be great Au Pairs. I guess I’m leaning a bit toward S because 2 years older and a lot of hard work experience probably means that she can and is willing to learn to make up the difference of not watching 3 kids. She really wants to do it. But J has an energy about her that I really love too. I’ve spent enough time talking with both of these girls that I am a little attached to them both. I’ve reviewed about 100 applications and interviewed around 10 girls. I’m not in a time crunch, I need someone in August, but I’m worried to let either of these go because I’d like them both.

Anyway, maybe something I’ve said is a red flag or a positive or a negative to you that I don’t know about. I really really appreciate you letting me open up about this and to listen to input. I think the pros and cons list might be in order. It’s just that I don’t know if things are necessarily a pro and con when they both have the things that are important to us.

Please please give some feed back! Thank you!

Anna April 23, 2009 at 5:03 am

everybody has different criteria. I can see you dilemma.

For me, being 21 or over is a big plus, because we had a 19 year old au pair, and she couldn’t go out with a group of au pairs much, because in their regular gathering place ( an irish pub/diner, a student hangout) alcohol was served and she couldn’t get in. So being underage for drinking could limit their social options a lot.

I don’t think J has any advantage over S in watching 3 kids, because 3-4 hours very occasionally is really not much, so I would scratch that from my list of plusses and minuses.

The only minus (for me) that I see in S, is that she is not in college or wants to go that way (or maybe she does?). I like girls who have ambition in life and for them au pairing will open better job and career choices; I don’t want au pairing to be the highlight of their life. That’s why “open to extending” is really not a consideration for me, neither a plus nor a minus. But here I am talking about myself, you might have different priorities.

However, with the information you gave, I would lean towards S. At this age 2 years is a big difference, she might really know better what she wants, and have more realistic expectations of a difficult job ahead. She also has more driving experience and your insurance might be cheaper. Also, not being the youngest kid is a plus. You say both have extensive experience, but helping raise siblings is a more intensive and everyday experience.

Are they from the same country? Because for me, after certain good and bad experiences, some country preferences and “never agains” have formed.

Jenny April 23, 2009 at 5:22 am

Thank you Anna.
They are both from Germany. S loves the hotel industry, she seems truly happy working and serving others. She said she might go to University when she comes home, however she isn’t sure. She has been in this apprentice program for 3 years, and has tests for it next week, so there is some schooling involved. At the same time she is active and independent, I just don’t get the feeling she is as ambitious as J. (Or as me for that matter) While college is VERY important to my husband and I, we aren’t really at the role model age as far as ambitions go with our girls. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve talked a lot about morally being a good role model, but I think if we continue to have an au pair as our girls get older, education will matter more than it does now. For a 2-4 year old, I’m thinking the hard worker and values that go with that might be more useful when jumping into 3 kids under 5. And I couldn’t agree more about a younger sibling.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your input, you mentioned a few things that I hadn’t thought of. And yes, insurance is $300 less for the year. Not a make or break, but tips the scale a little as I go back and forth. What do you think about a boyfriend? Seems to be a bit of a no-no for some. She says he is supportive, and he has known that she wanted to do this since they met, but 19 and in love with a long distance relationship? I did that and my little heart couldn’t enjoy anything else! Thanks! I hope Germany isn’t on your never again!

Anna April 23, 2009 at 5:40 am


common wisdom is that boyfriend at home is a minus, however I think it depends.

I haven’t had German au pairs so I cannot say anything about it.

You are absolutely right that with very young children education is not as significant as being a hard worker. It matters more for me and my own comfort and communication with the au pair. I speak though from a very unfortunate experience (that influenced me in this matter) – we had a rematch with an au pair who just turned out to be… dumb, I don’t like to say it, but that’s what it was, there was no way I could get through to her on simple things, and I gave it my best effort of 3 months. She couldn’t do her job satisfactorily because of it, she could not do what I asked. She graduated high school, but afterwards we realized she did it a year later than she should’ve.. we suspect a mild learning disability. Of course if spoke to her during matching for so long as you did with your candidates, for sure it would’ve come through a bit, so I think it is totally not a concern for you, but it made me a little prejudiced, at least for the next year’s match, while the memory of that mistake is still fresh.
With your candidate S., I am sure that being in a hospitality field, she had to be very organized, efficient, and able to follow directions, and work quickly – these are the qualities that in my mind being in college somewhat guarantees. So I think you are pretty safe on that matter.

Jenny April 23, 2009 at 8:05 am

I totally can understand where you are coming from! S is definitely smart and articulate, though not as ambitious as J as far as education. Thanks again for letting me bounce this off of you. I’m really going to love this site, I know it!

Dawn April 23, 2009 at 5:52 pm

Jenny, the good news is that it seems like you have two great candidates, so you probably can’t go wrong with either one! Like Anna, I think I’d probably lean more toward S, mainly because of the over-21 thing. Our APs have always been over 21, but I’ve seen how difficult it can be for their under-21 friends when they get “left behind” when the older girls go out to bars or clubs. Add to that the fact that J has a boyfriend, and you might have a recipe for some very serious homesickness — if she’s missing her boyfriend and often can’t go out with the other APs in your area, then she’s going to have a lot of “down time” just being lonely and bored. One thing I’d suggest is to ask your LCC (or whatever your agency’s local rep is called) what kinds of things the APs in her group typically do for fun. In my area, the APs will sometimes go to the movies or the mall during the week, and Thursday night seems to be “AP night” at Starbucks, but on the weekends they almost always go out to bars or clubs, so an under-21 AP would be left out every weekend. If it turns out that there are more things for young people to do in your area than there are in mine (or if there are under-21 clubs?), then it wouldn’t be as much of an issue. (Also, you could ask the LCC what the proportion is in her group of over-21 APs to under-21 APs — if there are a ton of under-21 girls in the group, then being “left out” of the over-21 crowd isn’t so much of an issue.)

Our first AP left us in the lurch after only 3 months because she never went out and just stayed home missing her boyfriend, until she became so homesick that she decided to go home. So I speak from experience when I say that your AP *needs* an active social life in order to be happy enough to get through the normal homesickness. She needs to “make a life” here in order to make it worthwhile to be away from the life she misses. Depending on what there is for young people to do in your area, that may be a lot more difficult for someone under 21.

(After our experience with our first AP, I would have said that an AP with a serious boyfriend is a definite no-no. However, our current AP — our best one yet — has a boyfriend, and it hasn’t turned out to be a problem at all. (I did ask about the boyfriend during the interview, but they happened to have broken up for a couple of months, and the interview happened to take place during that time.) Now I think that my advice would be to ask — as you have — whether the boyfriend is supportive of her APing, and also to ask her how she thinks she will manage the long-distance relationship. Our first AP’s boyfriend was very unsupportive — literally every time she’d talk to him, he’d tell her to come home, which certainly didn’t help ease her homesickness. Our current AP’s boyfriend is totally supportive and proud of our AP for going on this “adventure.” It also helps that now, as opposed to when we had our first AP, it’s so much easier to keep in touch via email, Skype, Facebook, etc., so the distance doesn’t seem so far.)

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