Au Pair Expectations: Downloadable version from New Zealand’s Amy T

Au Pair Expectations: Downloadable version from New Zealand's Amy T

Kia Ora and Welcome to our family

We are so glad you have decided to come and live with us.

This book contains

our expectations of you
our routines and systems
ideas for kids snacks and meals
a list of things to do around our community
ideas for things to do with the kids
ideas about how to keep their behaviour on-track.

We want your time with us to be lots of fun. We want to help you have a wonderful experience, get to experience Kiwi culture, improve your English and make your au pair experience everything you would like.

You will become part of our family, and part of the “parenting team”

We don’t expect you to remember everything we have written here, nor do we expect you to get it right 100%. So please think of this as a guideline, or a reference tool.

If anything is worrying you, please know that you can speak to us at any time. It is very common to feel homesick, lonely or overwhelmed. As your host family, we want to help you so its important that we know how you are feeling!

?– our expectations of you

We want you to help Child 1 and Child 2 have a fun, happy and of course safe, time with you as their aupair. Also, helping with day to day housework is a big part of any au pair job.

When on duty, your first priority should always be engaging with the children, looking after them and supporting their activities.
Always be just a little bit early to pick then up at school or kindy. They get very nervous when they think they might have been forgotten.
When you are on duty, stay close to the children — within “earshot” at the very least. You want to be able to hear what the children are up to so that you can intervene before they need help.
When you are on duty but you’re not actively playing with the children, please use this time to tidy up, do laundry, or get a head start on dinner. You will also need to make notes in the The Agency Journal.
When you are on duty, please do not make personal phone calls or texts, use the computer or watch TV.
Please pick up/put away toys, shoes, dishes etc at the end of each shift. Have a quick look around the house before you go off duty. Put dishes in the dishwasher and tidy away whatever you use to cook the children’ meals.
The children need your help with tidying up, its often a good idea to make it into a game. The children should tidy up the lounge and their bedrooms, once a day (with your help).
Once a week or so the toy-shelves and craftbox in the lounge, as well as the children’s bedrooms need a ‘clean out’. Please remove any rubbish, and put things back in their proper place. This will make your daily tidying up with the children much easier.
Once a week we will ask you to visit the supermarket to do the grocery shopping. We will give you a list and money of course to do this. It is useful if you designate one day a week as the shopping day.

Please do the children’s and house-hold laundry (wash, hang up on line, fold, and put away) every couple of days, along with your own washing. Please change the children’s towels and bedding once a week. (You are not expected to do our washing, nor are you expected to do any ironing). More washing instructions are on page x
Help the children keep their clothes, toys and toiletries, neatly in their appropriate places. Both children have ‘pockets’ for keeping little things in. Let us know when we are running low on supplies.
When you are on duty after school, please help the children to unpack their school bags (lunchboxes on bench, drink bottles in pantry, book-bag in kitchen basket). Keep an eye out for notices/forms that need to be filled out, and pop these on the magnet board.
However, also be prepared that the children after school are often very tired, and very hungry, so pushing them to put things away may be too much for them!
You are welcome to set up “art projects” in the dining room or outside. Use newspaper to protect the floor and table. We have books with ideas for children’s art. Let Amy know if there are any art supplies or tools you’d like us to buy.
Please never smack, push or yell at the children. If they are frustrating you, we suggest putting them in their room for a couple of minutes so you, and they, can cool down.
Please NEVER leave the children alone in the house, or in the car, or allow them to play in the street by themselves.
Please drive safely and obey all the road-rules. Please ensure the children are always in their carseats.

“Off the Job”
You are welcome to spend time with us as part of our family, but of course you will want to spend time with other friends as well.
You are welcome to use the car for personal use within the Auckland region. Please ask if you wish to drive outside of Auckland. You will be given enough petrol money for your ‘job requirements’ – additional petrol is your expense.
Please let us know by text message if you will be later than 10pm, or if you will not be home overnight. Not because we want to be your parents, but because we want to know you are safe.
This is a family home, and the routines and needs of young children have to come first. Please do not have guests in the house later than 10pm without discussing this at least one day in advance. If we are home please entertain guests in your room.
Please tidy up after yourself and help out as you would if you were a flatmate.
Internet use in our house is provided by host mum’s work. Please do not download songs or movies etc.
Please keep your music to a reasonable volume, it is a small house.
No cigarettes or drugs in the house, on our section, or in the car. If you wish to drink alcohol, please provide it yourself (unless we are having a drink as a family).
Please keep the car relatively clean and tidy and let us know if you are having any problems with the car so we can get it fixed.
Please know that we are here to help you. If you are worried, sad, or need help just let us know. We want you to be happy and to have a wonderful experience in New Zealand. 

money

You will be paid directly to your bank account.. For additional hours over the 35 hours agreed, we will pay you in $10 an hour, or the agreed $20 flat rate for evening babysitting. We will pay this additional money in cash on Fridays. Please record your hours on the calendar that is in the inside of the pantry so that we don’t miss paying you for anything!

As well as your pocket money, we pay for:
All meals and activities that we attend together.
All activities related to the child including food for you and them when you are out with them.  
Petrol and car costs for use in your au pair duties including car insurance and $20 per week petrol.
Reasonable food requests that can be bought at our local supermarkets
Basic cell phone program, we will provide a cell phone and $10 text message credit per month.
Accommodation while you are on vacation with us.

What we DON’T pay for
Petrol for personal car use other than the weekly fuel allowance.
Alcohol other than what we drink together for family dinners.
Personal toll-calls
Any special food requests, or your meals when you are out socially.
Food for your friends/guests (other than a cup of tea or coffee etc!)
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weekly routine

Monday to Friday
Help the children get dressed, eat breakfast, clean teeth, brush hair
Make lunch for Child 1, and a kindy snack for Child 2
Take Child 1 to school by 8.50am
Look after Child 2
General household duties
Pick up Child 1 from school at 2.50pm
Look after Child 1 and Child 2, bath them, and prepare their dinner.

During school holidays you will have the children with you for the full day (morning till 3pm). We will work with you to find activities and things to do. Also, if Child 1 or Child 2 are sick and need to stay home, you will need to look after them.

Occasionally you will be asked to work late, pick up the children from kindy and school, prepare meals, give them baths etc. You will be paid extra for these hours, as you will be for any babysitting work. We will always give you as much notice as we can about any extra hours we work, and we will try to be flexible with you, as we will expect you to be flexible with us.

Otherwise when you are just being ‘part of the family’ we ask that you help out as you would if you were a flatmate – e.g. with preparing the evening meal, or doing the dishes, etc. We have a cleaner who comes weekly so you are not responsible for the weekly cleaning jobs.

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driving the car
As long as you prove to be a safe and careful driver, you’re welcome to use our car, and we want you to be able to drive the children to school and to carry out errands.
Always put the children safely in car seats.
Please always obey the NZ road code.
Always wear your seat belt. Require your passengers to wear their seat belts.
DO NOT use your cell phone when driving the car for calls or texting.
Only you are permitted to drive the vehicle. We have paid for you to be a ‘named driver’ on our insurance, no other drivers under 25 are insured.
Never drink and drive or ever ride with anyone who has been drinking.
In case of an accident, please refer to the insurance information in the glove-box.
Lock the car and shut all windows when you park it. Never leave the keys in the car.
Please park the car on the side of the road.
You are responsible for keeping the petrol tank over ¼ full, keeping the car clean, and alerting us to any potential problems with the car. We will arrange the six monthly servicing, Warrant of Fitness and Registration.
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The Agency Programme
While Child 2 is under 5 years old, we will be enrolled with the The Agency programme. This programme enables us to attend regular activities with the children, and you will have a monthly visit from a qualified early childhood teacher, who will support you in your role as au pair.
As part of the programme you need to complete a daily journal. Your The Agency co-ordinator will assist you with this, and with the other paperwork required.
You will also need to complete a monthly timesheet for The Agency .

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Out and About – Checklist
In the hall cabinet you will find a chilly-bag, and a nappy bag. You are welcome to use either of these on trips out of the house, but please clean them out and return them when you are home.
I suggest you take
– drink bottles of water
– some snacks
– baby wipes for mucky hands and faces
– tissues
– sunscreen and hats in summer
– hand sanitiser
– jumpers for kids

School/kindy bag checklist
Bookbag (Child 1)
– sunhat (terms 1&4)
drink bottle
lunchbox
jumper/jacket
change of clothes (Child 2)

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morning jobs

afternoon/evening jobs

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meal ideas for the kids

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things to do
During term-time there are lots of local activities to do in the mornings you are at home with Child 2. They are a great way to meet other people, and have fun with other children
Mainly music (Singing and dancing for kids)
Monday & Wednesday 
 
Playgroups
Tuesday & Thursday

 
Storytime (Stories and songs at the library)
Tuesday 10.30am –

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encouraging good behaviour

Like all children, Child 1 and Child 2 can be challenging at times. Here are some ideas you might find useful for managing their behaviour

IN GENERAL
Reward good behaviour with attention and praise.
Try to make things fun. Sing songs, race each other, make a game of it.
Watch the clock. Time can slip away, and children don’t behave well when they’re tired, bored or hungry!
Ask the kids for their ideas “How can we solve this problem together”.
Be aware of how hungry they get. You will be surprised at how much they can eat.
Keep your own voice calm, the more you yell the more they will misbehave
Keep time-out in their bedrooms for serious mis-behaviour (hitting or hurting etc)
Use lots of praise and laughter
Use natural consequences ‘if you don’t eat your breakfast we won’t have time to play a game before we go to school’ or “if you splash water at your sister you will have to get out of the bath straight away”. Or “if you get ready by 8am we can do some dancing before we leave the house”.
If they say ‘mummy said’ either say “we will talk to mummy when she gets home, but right now I say …. “ OR “let me phone mummy and ask her”. If Child 1 is lying she will admit it before she phones me.
If Child 1’s behaviour seems irrational, try calming everyone down, having a hug and a cold drink, and asking her to tell you what is worrying her. It doesn’t matter if you are running late!

OUT AND ABOUT

Be prepared – keep snacks, water bottles, toys, and extra clothes close at hand.
Tell the kids the plan ahead of time so they know what to expect. Having a reward at the end like a trip to the playground, a DVD or an ice-cream can help them through boring trips.
Try to make a game out of it. E.G. “We are going to the supermarket to buy some food. I need you to help me look for apples and milk.” The list keeps the kids focused on what they are looking for and helps prevent them from becoming bored—a huge tantrum trigger!

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WHEN YOU NEED TO SAY NO

“NO!” is an emotional word to hear. Unfortunately though, “No!” is so easy to say and sometimes our kids hear ‘NO NO NO’ all day long.
?Think about it: How would YOU feel if you excitedly said to your friend “I was thinking maybe we could …” And she said, “NO!” before you could even finish your sentence. That’s how kids feel every time you shut them down with a no.

Do you really need to say NO? If the kids want to wear pyjamas to the shops, make a fort with cushions, or wear mismatching socks then say YES. If its not a matter of health or safety, and it isn’t hurting anyone, you can probably say YES.

”Yes, next time”
E.G. if Child 2 asks you to stay longer at his friend’s house, instead of saying no, try saying, “We have to go now. I know you want to stay. Next time, we can stay longer.”
OR If he wants soy milk at lunchtime say “You can have soy milk after dinner.
Tip: Try not to get into a big discussion about it – usually they know they are asking for something they can’t have.

Acknowledge their requests and their feelings.
So if Child 1 says “Do I have to go to bed?” You can say, “I know you don’t want to go to bed. But it’s bedtime now.” Show you are listening, because its important kids (and adults) feel heard.

Create a “Pocket Money/Birthday List. 
If the kids want things they can’t have immediately, Child 1 can write down the things she wants, so she feels listened to even though she can’t have it straight away. You can write the list for Child 2. They can call this a pocket money list, or a Birthday/Christmas List.

Take a pause.
If you feel yourself getting upset, take a breath. Don’t scream, don’t yell, just calmly say, “One minute, let me think about it”.

“Convince me”
With Child 1, you can ask her to convince you, to give you an argument or make a deal with you. E.G. she might say “I want to go for a bike-ride.” If you ask her to convince you, she might come up with the idea that she will tidy her room first etc. If its her idea, she will be much more committed to the plan.

WHEN YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE ATMOSPHERE?
Sometimes everyone just seems grumpy and angry.
So try
Seeing if anyone hungry or thirsty
Go outside and kick a ball around
Put some music on and dance
Have a pillow fight
Have a bath (even in the middle of the day)
Go for a walk, or a drive to a playground

TIME OUTS

If the kids are not responding to the above techniques – e.g. repeatedly not listening to you, screaming, or damaging something, then you can put them in their room to calm down. We don’t put a time limit on this they just need to stay until they have calmed down.

Process
Get down to eye level and say calmly “Child 1/Child 2 I need you to stop shouting please’
If they continue to shout (or whatever the behaviour is), again at eye level “If you keep shouting you will go to your room”
Then count 1 …. 2 …. 3. Child 2 hates the ‘3’ so will usually stop. Child 1 is hit and miss.
If they do calmly take them to their room and walk away
If they come out yelling then put them back
When they have calmed down they will usually say sorry. They can have a hug and then its all forgotten and we move on. Don’t revisit the misbehaviour.

IF YOU HIT YOU SIT

The exception to the timeout warning process above is if you see Child 1 and Child 2 hit each other or another child (or you!). Then its straight to their room (or a quiet place if you are not at home) until they have calmed down.

IF YOU ARE WORRIED

Please know that you can talk to us about the children at any time. Looking after children is the hardest job there is, so its OK to find it hard. We are here to help.

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