Did you ever just “know” you needed to rematch?
Our incredible first AP left last week – tears all around; she loved our 3 little kids so much and was an amazing friend to us too. We live in a desirable area and have a separate studio for the AP, have a third car, provide a phone w unlimited data and voice, and, I think, are pretty generous about stuff, and we loved the “part of the family” aspect with our first AP.
Our new AP from Eastern Europe arrived 2.5 weeks ago. Our new AP’s English is good and she seems to be trying hard. I work outside of the home so the hours are pretty much 8-5 daily M-F and involve pick-ups and dropoffs at preschool and kindergarten.
I’ve searched the archives and seen things somewhat on point about doing a “reset” between one au pair and the next, so that your opinions about your new au pair aren’t clouded too much by missing the previous one. But what if your concerns are triggered by the new au pair herself, not by a comparison?
A recurring theme seems to be that people feel they waited too long to rematch, and that’s what worries me. A few red flags have gone up in the last two weeks:
(1) She forgot to strap in middle kid in the car seat for about 2 blocks. she realized it, texted me, said she’d learned a lot. We talked about it, talked with LCC about it, and she seems committed to being safe. But– it seems like it’s more of an awareness/juggling three little kids issue than a specific thing she forgot.
(2) She is just sort of aloof about some things (e.g. her first weekend, texted me while we are a family funeral about having a friend stay the night, even though we hadn’t met that friend and our handbook addresses this),
(3) She says she doesn’t receive emails (when she does), and
(4) She doesn’t have the same (amazing) patience as our first AP. Our LCC says our first AP was just amazing rockstar and there’s no way we can expect to have that again.
Also, our new AP just seems more emotional and fragile. For example, she had an issue/delay with getting her social security card, and has brought it up daily since and seems really flustered. When I sent her an email with a list of things to go over on her day of overlap with AP Dad, she got the email, and burst into tears that it was a long list (e.g. dishwasher, how to wipe DD2, etc).
So I guess I’m asking –
Did you ever just “know” you needed to rematch, or is it always a grey area?
Those of you who regret waiting too long – was it a series of red flags, or one huge incident that did it?