Oh, the au pair adventure! A new country, a new family, and sometimes even a new romance.
When our au pairs fall in love — or heck, if they find somebody really hot that they want to date — they often want to bring this person home with them. When that home is also your home, there are some extra dynamics involved.
First, you should consider your comfort with having your au pair having an intimate relationship under your roof.
You need to consider whether this is okay with you, under what conditions (e.g., only when you are home, only with advance notice, only if you’ve met the person), and with what limitations (e.g., gone before the kids see).
Second, you should consider your comfort with having someone new-to-you sleeping in your house.
Somehow, when it’s your au pair’s friends from home it seems a bit easier to assume that you’ll be safe, that your house will be safe, and that your au pair will be safe, if you let someone into your home.
Third, you should consider your position on your role as host parents.
Some host parents are very involved in the social lives of their au pairs. Others take their role as ‘parent’ very seriously and want to make sure their au pair will be safe. Still others have a very ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy towards what their au pairs do when they are ‘off duty’.
Has your au pair ever wanted to bring home a new romance? What’s your policy been? What’s worked — or not worked– for you?
Here’s a specific questions from HostMomEvita:
Dear AuPairMom –We have an au pair who has been with us for 5 months and we like a lot, and does a really nice job with the kids (ages 1 and 3). She’s thinking about staying a second year with us, and we’d be glad to have her stay.
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