Systems

Two Kids, One Baby and a New Au Pair: Overload!

by cv harquail August 11, 2015
jereme wong

Where do I start? writes 2K1BabyHM I’ve scoured your site for advice (and found tons!). I’ve made notes of tips and things to discuss with my new AP, but I still have some questions and I wonder if AuPairMom readers can help me out… AP3 has just started – nearly a week ago – but I […]

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When Your Au Pair Repeatedly Loses Things

by cv harquail January 23, 2015
glenn euloth lost nemo

I’m known for losing things. Sunglasses, cell phone, car keys, arguments, emergency chocolate, the Costco card… . I try hard to hold on to things, but the absent-minded part of being a professor is really strong with this one. My own sensitivity to losing things has led me to compensate for potential losses in two […]

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Rules & Methods for Paying Your Au Pair

by cv harquail January 14, 2015
hello-kitty-blossoms-check-series

Paying your Au Pair her or his weekly stipend, on time and at the right amount, is critically important for sustaining a good au pair-host parent relationship. Your Au Pair is working hard at a real job, and s/he is earning that stipend. Plus, s/he probably has a lot of plans for using this money […]

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Who Pays for Your Au Pair’s Gas?

by cv harquail January 10, 2015
au pair car, au pair driving, gas money

Au Pairs should pay for their own gas when they use the family’s car(s) on their own personal time.  Host Families should pay for gas used when the Au Pair drives for family and child-related activities. Managing who pays for gas is pretty simple, right? If only cars came with two gas tanks, or funky meters […]

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Share Your System? Tips from Host Parents

by cv harquail October 23, 2014
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A new kind of open thread, where you can share the systems that keep you sane.

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Au Pair Asks: How can I tell my Host Family that they’re so noisy they wake me up?

by cv harquail October 22, 2014
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If the shoe were on the other foot, we wouldn’t hesitate to tell our au pairs that their early morning or late night behavior was so rowdy that it interrupted our sleep. But when you’re the au pair, and it’s your host family just doing their thing in the kitchen, what can you do? Au […]

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Plan Ahead for Disasters: Tips from CalifMom

by cv harquail March 14, 2011

We know what we ‘should’ do, but we often just don’t get to it. Who wants to think about how she or he can respond to horrific tragedies, like terrorism, earthquakes, and floods? That’s the kind of thing for action movie heros, not ah pair host parents, right? We’ve brought this issue up before and […]

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Have a 9-11 Plan for your family and your au pair

by cv harquail March 14, 2011
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(First published on 9.11.09.  Republished with original comments.) Thinking about ‘lessons’ from 9-11 can often be heartbreaking, especially in my community where so many of us lost family, friends and co-workers in the WTC attacks. It’s almost disrespectful to bring up the idea of a “9-11” plan, but maybe thinking ahead about how we might […]

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When should we send our Family Handbook to our incoming au pair?

by cv harquail January 6, 2011
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As every reader of this blog knows, we are big fans of the concept of the Family Handbook. And by “we” I don’t mean the royal  moi, but all of us host parents (and even au pairs). It really helps to create a handbook to get your expectations and needs out into clear language, and […]

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Share with your Au Pair your system for ‘disciplining’ your kids

by cv harquail August 10, 2010

Usually I shy away from offering or requesting parenting advice on this blog… I know what has worked for my family and I also know that every family’s systems have to fit within its own values, norms and culture. So, when it comes to questions of “how should my Au Pair discipline my kids” I […]

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