privacy

You’re right, he’s wrong. This is a problem.

by cv harquail February 8, 2010
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Most of the time when I get an email for us at AuPairMom, I do my best to hold back. I usually want to let you all take charge of an issue, so I restrain myself from sharing my opinion first. But in this case …. well, you can tell from the post title, can’t […]

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Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010
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I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to […]

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O. M. G. My Au Pair is “Sexting”

by cv harquail December 29, 2009
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I can’t even figure out how to begin this post! Where do you start, when you find out that your au pair is sending lewd photos of herself from her/your cellphone, and downloading lewd photos of someone else onto her/your computer? We got this request for advice from a host mom who is, to put […]

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Your Au Pair’s Room: How much mess can you take?

by cv harquail December 14, 2009
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A host mom sent me a few photos of her au pair’s bedroom (taken with the au pair’s permission). The host mom was agonizing, because the room was a freaking mess. This family’s au pair was following the two most important bedroom-related rules: No dirty dishes and no candles/incense. But otherwise the place was a […]

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“No Room at the Inn” because AP changed her plans. Now what? (Poll)

by cv harquail August 22, 2009
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My au pair’s vacation is coming up. To cover for her, we’re having both sets of grandparents come stay over. They’ll be here for a month, but will overlap for a little over a week. The overlap will occur while the AP is on vacation. We have a smallish house – 3 bedrooms. Our “guest […]

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Gossip Girls: When your AP tells stories, what can you do?

by cv harquail August 18, 2009
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Researchers in my field of organizational behavior&theory have found that gossip in organizations provides some useful functions, like lubricating relationships, creating interpersonal bonds, allowing people to express their fears, and perhaps most important, offering people an informal way to make sense of what’s going on around them. While it may be that gossip at work […]

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Setting Guidelines when your Au Pair has guests

by cv harquail April 23, 2009
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When an au pair has guests come to visit, it is tempting for the Host Parents to give the au pair lots of ‘extras’– extra time off, extra flexibility, extra food and space, and basically to try to accommodate their au pair’s expected desire to spend time with the visiting friend or family member. This […]

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Help: My Au Pair is Blogging about My Family!

by cv harquail January 11, 2009
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It’s s Web 2.0 nightmare no Au Pair Host Parent is ready for — your au pair is blogging about your kids, your family, your discipline strategies, and who knows what all else. And the picture is not altogether flattering. What do you do? Here’s how md describes her challenge and her request for advice: […]

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Tip: It is Probably Better NOT to Talk About Daniel Craig …

by cv harquail November 18, 2008
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… with your Au Pair, or for that matter, when your Au Pair is nearby. Can you see why? And yes, Kathy, Jamie, Margot and Sarah, I’m talking to you.  :-)

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Host Mom Advice Wanted: How to get more privacy and family time?

by cv harquail September 25, 2008
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Hi Host Moms (and Dads) — We just got this request from a host mom who’d like some suggestions. Here is her challenge: We are looking to have some space away from our au pair on her time off. I have heard of au pairs that go out with their friends, go out to eat […]

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