in loco parentis

When Your Au Pair Wants To Bring Home A New Romance

by cv harquail February 22, 2014
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Oh, the au pair adventure! A new country, a new family, and sometimes even a new romance. When our au pairs fall in love — or heck, if they find somebody really hot that they want to date — they often want to bring this person home with them. When that home is also your […]

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What Kind of Parent Are You — To Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 8, 2014
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No Host Parent wants to feel responsible for an au pair who’s unable to take care of him/herself. We complain to each other bitterly “If I’d wanted another ‘dependent’, I’d have had another kid!” And, we resent the idea that there is another anything (much less an actual person whom we care about) that we […]

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Au Pairs and Online Romances: Your role as a Host Parent

by cv harquail June 10, 2011
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As host parents we feel responsible for keeping our au pairs safe, since they are under our roofs and with our families. However, we recognize that what they do on their own time is (largely) their own business. Au pairs deserve social autonomy, privacy, and the chance to experiment with new things and new relationships. […]

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Can you help your Au Pair use her free time more wisely?

by cv harquail May 4, 2011
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Have you ever been slightly envious of your au pair’s year of adventure? There have been many times that I’ve wondered what I mgiht have been like had I been an au pair (or an exchange student) and had the chance to live somewhere so different, make different friends, try new things, and experiment with […]

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The Three Phone Calls I Want to Get From My Au Pair at 2 am

by cv harquail June 3, 2010
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I’ve had too much to drink and I can’t drive home safely. Can you come and get me? My friend has had too much to drink and she can’t drive us home safely. Can you come and get us? I don’t feel safe and I don’t know how to get home. Can you come and […]

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In Loco Parentis? Your Parental Responsibilities when your AP’s behavior challenges your values

by cv harquail June 1, 2010
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As Host Parents, we have an odd role in our Au Pair’s lives. We are responsible for keeping them safe, housed, fed, and supported in their work with our children. And we also often play a role that I call Pseudo In Loco Parentis. Pseudo In Loco Parentis Like the fancy Latin? Years ago, women’s […]

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