Family

Our Au Pair Wants to Extend and We’d Rather Not

by cv harquail August 27, 2009
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Uh Oh. A clash of expectations on the horizon. And, once you discuss it, you might get some pushback from your au pair…. Our au pair has been with us about 5 months. She is ok. Not great by any means. We are not planning to extend with her. Our biggest issue with her is […]

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Mad Money: Every girl should have some

by cv harquail August 20, 2009
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Family lore has it that my grandfather, a WASP of few words, gave my mom three pieces of advice when she went off to college: Hotels always have clean ladies’ rooms. A Brandy Alexander is an appropriate cocktail for a young lady. Every young lady should have some mad money. Notwithstanding how odd these three […]

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Can this relationship be saved? “Uncomfortable” or something else?

by cv harquail August 19, 2009
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“Our Au Pair tells us that she is ‘uncomfortable’.” … but what does this really mean? Host parents, can you help with this request for advice? This is our first aupair…(well our very first decided she couldnt handle it and went home after 1 month). She is 22 years old from Colombia and has been […]

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Gossip Girls: When your AP tells stories, what can you do?

by cv harquail August 18, 2009
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Researchers in my field of organizational behavior&theory have found that gossip in organizations provides some useful functions, like lubricating relationships, creating interpersonal bonds, allowing people to express their fears, and perhaps most important, offering people an informal way to make sense of what’s going on around them. While it may be that gossip at work […]

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Settling Accounts — *Before* she departs

by cv harquail August 17, 2009
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The comment from PA AuPair mom in the post about docking the au pair’s pay sent a chill down my spine, and reminded me that I need to write and post this bit of advice: Before your Au Pair leaves, be sure to settle all accounts with her. This advice is not for host parents […]

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Can you dock her pay if she owes you money? Poll

by cv harquail August 14, 2009

Are there any situations when it’s fair for you to withhold or ‘dock’ your au pair’s pocket money? We skirted around this issue in a previous conversation about when your au pair refuses to work, but never answered it directly. Now, we’ve got a topic request (on Skribit) with a very specific situation: You AP […]

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