au pair

Au Pair Asks: Host Dad is Mean to Child

by cv harquail February 16, 2010
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Although this blog is not really for au pairs, there are times when other host parents are the best folks to offer advice to an au pair. This particular situation is a tough one, since the problem concerns how the Host Dad treats his son, and how (or even whether) the Host Mom and the […]

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Extra Hours: What’s fair pay when you break this taboo?

by cv harquail February 13, 2010
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Many parents find that 45 hours a week is not enough childcare. Either you have an emergency late night at work, a kid home sick, a snow day, or a bookclub meeting. Some parents have work + commute combos that mean they’re away from home 10 hours a day, m-f, even if they stagger their […]

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You’re right, he’s wrong. This is a problem.

by cv harquail February 8, 2010
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Most of the time when I get an email for us at AuPairMom, I do my best to hold back. I usually want to let you all take charge of an issue, so I restrain myself from sharing my opinion first. But in this case …. well, you can tell from the post title, can’t […]

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Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010
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I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to […]

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How to Handle Costs for a Ski Vacation: Who should pay for what?

by cv harquail February 5, 2010
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When a host family takes their au pair with them to work during part of the vacation, what should they provide for her during her off-duty time? Especially, what should you provide on a ski vacation, where costs are relatively high and your au pair can’t afford to pay for her own skiing? A European […]

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Moms & Au Pairs: Can I hold us to different tv rules?

by cv harquail February 4, 2010
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I’m a believer that different members of a family have different privileges and responsibilities, depending on their roles and their ages. Parents have more privileges than do children, and employers have more privileges than do employees. The rules that we follow can be different, as long as they are fair. Nobody, and I mean nobody, […]

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Why Safety Rules Matter

by cv harquail January 30, 2010
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I get a lot of crap from people about the safety rules at our house. Apparently we’re a little strict. Probably our most prominent safety rules have to do with driving. For example, I don’t use my cellphone when I drive. I just don’t. I’m that person who waits ’till she gets where she’s going, […]

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Au Pair Abruptly Quits, then wants to come back to see kids. Really? (poll)

by cv harquail January 28, 2010
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Here’s a painful situation, about which this host mom could use some good advice. I’m sure that this kind of situation has happened to other families who’ve gone into rematch [Something similar happened to us with our flame-out au pair, and so reading this mom’s email got me all mad all over again. What went […]

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Do you pay your Au Pair for her orientation days?

by cv harquail January 27, 2010
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When do you start paying your Au Pair? Do you consider her training days to be ‘work’ for you, or do you wait until the Thursday night she arrives in your home before the clock starts? For our first au pair or two, we just paid them starting when they arrived, because it didn’t occur […]

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Took the car for the weekend & lied: Should I report car stolen?

by cv harquail January 23, 2010
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The quick answer? Only if you’re ready to rematch, and Only if you are ready to have your au pair hate you. And you may well be ready for that, if this situation is what it’s boiled down to: I actually just found this great blog because I believe my au pair has stolen our […]

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