au pair advice

Don’t Make Your Au Pair Do Your Kids’ Homework

by cv harquail March 8, 2014
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Haven’t we all wished for someone else to do our Algebra homework? That’s normal. What’s not so normal, though, is to ask your au pair to do your 17 year old’s homework. This situation is a little outside our usual boundaries, because the au pair is in Europe (US rules don’t apply), because she has […]

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Classic Case: Should we keep trying with a Mediocre Au Pair?

by cv harquail March 4, 2014
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Here’s a situation we see time and time again on AuPairMom: The family has an au pair (often, their first one) and the au pair is only okay. The au pair’s relationship with the kids is “fine”, but the au pair doesn’t follow through on her other responsibilities. The host parents have tried a few […]

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50 Shades of Shocking? Au Pair has trashy taste in reading

by cv harquail March 1, 2014
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It can be pretty exciting to finally ‘find’ your au pair match, and to be able to look forward to meeting your new au pair. That is, until you discover how s/he likes to spend her/his free time. Dear AuPairMom–  Am I a prude, or is this something to be concerned about?   We recently […]

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When Host Moms Need Support and Not Just Advice

by cv harquail November 23, 2013
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AuPairMom gets two kinds of emails– emails asking for advice on how or what to do, and emails asking for support in just dealing with whatever is happening. Interestingly, every email we get is BOTH of those types. Sometimes we know what we need to do. For example, almost every email asking ‘Should we go […]

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My Au Pair Application Isn’t Completely True. What should I do?

by cv harquail October 8, 2013
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We host parents absolutely depend on an au pair’s application to get an accurate and complete representation of that au pair’s background.   Part of the reason why we use Au Pair Agencies rather than websites or Craig’s List is to have a professional (usually, a field person hired by an Agency) interview the au […]

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Au Pair Scheduling: How to count time around Drop-Offs and Pick-ups

by cv harquail June 10, 2013
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When does an au pair actually ‘stop’ being on the clock?   Is it when the kids are off with someone else, or when the au pair is back at ‘home base’? Before we even address this substance of the question, I need to point out  => If you have to count minutes down to […]

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Sample Family Handbook, with sections on Food from HM P

by cv harquail March 22, 2013

Family Handbooks should all cover a core set of topics including schedule, safety, child care rules, car rules, and family rules. Beyond these topics, we each need to add specifically what’s important to OUR family. At my house, this means a section on “How to Adore Coco (our dog)” and another on “Traveling Safely in NYC”.  In […]

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Does Your Extension Au Pair Deserve a Raise?

by cv harquail January 24, 2013
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The experience of a happy au pair year is its own reward. And extending this positive experience is a great way to turn this reward into a bonus. When an au pair and a host family extend their contract with each other for an additional 6, 9, or 12 months, everybody gets a bonus. The […]

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On Duty or Off Duty: There is no third choice. Or is there?

by cv harquail December 29, 2012
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ON Duty or OFF Duty. There are only two choices for the hours on your au pair’s schedule. Host parents that try to establish a third choice, where an au pair is neither on duty nor off duty, are starting down the slippery slope of “taking advantage” of an au pair. ON Duty = Paid […]

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Pinning Your Hopes on a Happy Holiday: Gift Ideas from APIA’s Christine Connally

by cv harquail December 22, 2012
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There are several concessions that I have to make regarding online tools so that I can actually get my behind and my attention out from in front of my computer. With work that requires reading, writing, editing and analyzing data, and hobbies that invite reading, writing, surfing and rabbit holes, there are things to which […]

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