Caring for the Children
Principle: We want you to help Child1 and Child2 grow into curious, happy, and friendly little children
- When on duty, your first priority should always be engaging with the children, facilitating and supporting their activities.
- Always be just a little bit early to pick up Child1 and Child2 at school. They get very nervous when they think they might have been forgotten.
- When you are on duty, stay close to the children — within “earshot” at the very least. You want to be able to hear what the children are up to so that you can intervene before they need help.
- When you are on duty but you’re not actively involved with playing with the children, you can prepare dinner, organize their toys or things, do laundry, or use that time to write in the journal about the children or learn more about taking care of children, about how children learn, and so on (reading books and magazines on child development). We’d love to talk about ideas or new things you learn.
- Keep a short journal of the children’s activities and important achievements each day, and share with us any interesting things or behavior problems that happen. This way we can keep track of things and develop strategies together. Keep the journal in the kitchen near the bulletin board.
- When you are on duty, do not make personal phone calls, use the computer or watch TV. It’s fine to listen to music if not too loud. Play children’s music that the children can listen/sing/dance to at some point during each day.
- You should pick up/put away toys, shoes, and dishes/cups at the end of each day. Make a sweep around the house before you go off duty. Put dishes in the dishwasher and clear up/put away whatever you use to cook the children’ meals.
- The children need your help with their chores — mostly just remind them and supervise them. Remind the children to put away their coats, shoes, dirty clothes, etc. Remind them to do their chores, such as setting the table, sweeping the kitchen floor, and feeding the dog.Remind the children to tidy up or put away their instruments after their music practice. Help to keep the corner closet tidy so that the children can place their coats, backpacks, lunchboxes, boots etc. in the appropriate places.
- Ask the children to help you out with basic tasks such as folding laundry and putting it away, making lunches, and organizing toys. Look for ways that the children can help you out with basic tasks and encourage them to participate. We want to encourage the children to put their toys away when they’re finished with them; however, we don’t need to worry about cleaning toys up every minute of the day.
- The children should tidy up the playroom and their kitchen play area once a day (with your help, if needed). The playroom needs to have a more serious cleaning up once a week (usually on Friday or Saturday before “movie night”). At this time, you and the children would sort toys into their proper bins, return games to their proper place on the shelves, organize bookshelves, put away art supplies, and empty the miscellaneous box Help keep the toys sorted into the proper bins.
- Turn off the lights in the playroom and laundry room when you come upstairs for more than a few minutes. Remind the children often to turn off the lights themselves, and if necessary send them back downstairs to turn off the lights. Also, help remind them to turn off the stereo.
- Do the children’s laundry (wash, dry, iron if necessary, fold, and put away) each week. Take special care to pre-treat stains and wash/dry clothes on the proper settings. Sew on loose buttons. Change the sheets on the children’s beds once per week, but don’t wash their bedspreads (I do that myself). If you have any doubts about how something should be cleaned or laundered, just ask.
- Help the children keep their toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, hairbrushes and hair ties neatly in their appropriate places. Let us know when we are running low on supplies.
- Be the communication link between the children’ school and home—bring home notices, pass on information from teachers and other parents, and so on. Ask the children to unpack their school folders each day, and have them need these papers neatly on the kitchen counter. Ask the children to look at their homework assignments. Keep an eye out for forms that need to be filled out or that have been filled out. Asked the children to repack their knapsacks and to check and make sure they have their homework and any other important papers.
- Take charge of arranging playdates. You can be the authority with regard to planning activities. Put all playdates on the calendar to avoid scheduling conflicts. Only agree to have someone come over if it makes sense and feels comfortable to you and to the children. Also, only schedule played eighths four days in the children don’t have other activities, and make sure that the children do their homework and their music practicing before the play begins.
- On movie night and on other special occasions, you can order in pizza or take the children out to The Pizza Place. Use the “pizza money” in the kitchen drawer. Tell MOM when we are running low on “pizza money.”Don’t buy the children candy or ice cream without clearing it with us first.
- Set up “art projects” in the basement for the children. Use the easel and splat mats and whatever materials you want from the art box in the laundry room. Teach the children to put supplies away neatly. Let MOM know if there are any art supplies or tools you’d like us to buy.
- With regard to discipline, use the 1-2-3-time-out system. Use automatic timeouts for hitting, throwing or any really mean behavior. Encourage Child1 and Child2 to “use their words” when they are angry. Being angry is normal, but hitting is not allowed.
- Give a “yes” to every “no”. When you need to tell the children “no you can’t do that”, follow up immediately with a suggestion or two about what they can do “You can’t hit your sister but you can tell her you’re angry.”


{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
i have read all of this somewhere before , i just cant think of where!
maybe…… was SUPER NANNY book? ;P
Hi DHM&DHD! My name is Karelin & im a potencial au pair in the match process with 7120hours of childcare experience, I trully love kids so Im looking for a lovely family which would love to spend an incredible experience with me, Im with Au Pair In America & I did a page about me & my environment & my skills specially for you, dont hesitate in call me or ask me anything. Good day! http://karelinyourbestaupair.blogspot.com/
hello. i follow your blog since a while, and would like to ask for some advice. i am an au pair in the us since almost 1.5 years. i extended with the same family and i truly love them. but here is the problem. they have two kids. girls 3 and 6. i love them and we have the best time together. i spend more time with the 3 year old, because older one is in school all day. since almost 2 months little girl got very clingy. we always had a good relationship, but she was always thrilled to see her mom coming home from work. but not anymore. she starts crying when she opens the door, and tells her she should go back to work, because she wants to play with me. at first i thought she is just playing a game, so i would say things like: oh you know what, i got to play with you all day long, now its mommys turn. i try to dissapear as soon she gets into the house. but now she started sitting in front of my door crying for me to come out, or let her in. i really dont know what to do?? i love her, yes, but she is not my child, and i feel sad for my hm, because i see it bothers her.dinner time became very stressful too. girl always wants to sit next to me,get fed by me etc. i never do it, because i usually dont feed her either. i try to eat up, and leave to go and do dishes etc. but she would follow me! once at night she called me. i of course didnt leave my room, because i was off, and nights are mommy,daddy time. i dont know whatto do..they are afraid of getting anew au pair because of that. they think little girl will be so sad when i leave. can anybody tell me what i could do? i try to get out of the house as soon as i can, so they can spend some alone time toghether..lbut its getting harder..and i still have 6 months left…
During your days together have you tried getting her really excited for her mom to come home?
I would wait for her to be a good good mood, then say with a ton of enthusiasm, “you know what would be lots of fun? If we made mommy a really nice picture and surprised her with it the moment she walked in the door!”
As for leaving in six months, kids are pretty adaptable. If the family matches with another great au pair, they should have no problems bonding given some time and effort.
This is actually typical child behavior around 3. When my typically developing child was 3 I turned to my husband one day, and said “This must get better or the human race would have died out long ago.” Kids that age have a horrible time with transitions, so I agree with EU.AP, help her prepare to see her mother by drawing a picture. Also, prepare her for your disappearance. Instead of bolting behind your bedroom door the minute your HM gets home, help the three-year-old tell her about the day. Warn the child that when this is done you have other things to do and that you love her, but it’s her special time to be with Mommy.
What does the Mom do when she gets home? Is she in charge of preparing dinner for the family? Does she have other household chores to juggle with seeing her children? Perhaps you and the children could do some dinner prep together, tidy up the house, or do other chores that will make it easier for your HM to spend some quality time with her children before getting on with evening chores. Most of all, let the 3-year-old know that you love her and will be back in the morning to care for her.
I stopped nursing my son when he was 2, but we continued to have “skin time” when I got home for a couple of years. He would cuddle in my arms, we’d read a book, and have a few calm moments to transition between AP care and Mommy time (our first AP lived with us for 3 1/2 years because we tried to sponsor her as an employer). Now, he’s much older and he doesn’t need that direct contact to help him transition, but he likes to know I’m around and let’s me know he doesn’t like it when I have to work late.