A Good Au Pair Relationship Requires Your Emotional Investment

by cv harquail April 2, 2010
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Regardless of the type of childcare your family chooses for your kid(s), there is always some work involved in maintaining your relationship with the actual caregivers. With a daycare center, you need to communicate with the staff members and with the administrators on things ranging from schedules to toilet-training strategies. With your mother, mother-in-law or […]

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Just Plain Dumb: Boys, Nannies and Au Pairs

by cv harquail April 1, 2010
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The following post may look like an April Fool’s Joke article, but it isn’t. A reader sent an article to me about problems that might be caused by boys having a nanny/au pair care for them instead of their mom.  Our reader wondered whether this article might prompt an interesting discussion. (She thought the article […]

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When Troubles Back Home Cause Distress

by cv harquail March 30, 2010
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A large number of au pairs, perhaps even a majority, become au pairs in the US as a way to escape something at home. They may be escaping a bleak economic outlook, a scarcity of jobs post-high school, intense political strife, or an unsafe environment. Many au pairs are escaping bad family situations, including their […]

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Au Pair Management Tip: Schedule Transition Time

by cv harquail March 29, 2010
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Here is a tip for both host parent and au pairs alike: Schedule transition time, with explicit overlap between when the au pair and the parent (or other caregiver) switch who’s ‘on duty’. Back when I worked as a manufacturing manager I always had to be there for “shift overlap”, when the outgoing shift would […]

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When your Au Pair has an eating disorder

by cv harquail March 25, 2010
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Every au pair we’ve ever had (all 11 of them) went on some weird kind of diet. These diets included protein drinks, Slimfast shakes, grapefruits, Diet Cokes for breakfast & lunch and — my personal favorite —  rice and bread. (Going without butter was where ya really saved on calories!) Thankfully, most of these diets […]

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Interviewing Au Pair Candidates: Every Question You’ve Ever Recommended We Ask

by cv harquail March 23, 2010
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Host Mom Melinda sent us all a wonderful present. Melinda went through many, many posts on AuPairMom where we’ve recommended interview questions — AND she put them all together! This will be a huge, long list. It includes some questions you’ll see on agency sites, plus several questions *exclusive* to all of us here. Thank […]

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How to Assess an Au Pair Candidate’s Driving Experience

by cv harquail March 23, 2010
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Our second au pair had a lot of driving experience back in her Eastern European country. She’d been driving for 3 years, almost every day. Sounded great. This, along with her other great qualities, lead us to match with her. Zoom ahead three months, as we settle her into the Toyota to go out for […]

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Can this au pair relationship be saved? Laundry list of “no”s

by cv harquail March 22, 2010
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Readers, this situation is a challenge on many fronts… I’ve listed them out in headings to make things a little easier. It looks like a no-win situation to me, so I’d recommend rematch. But I might be missing something… Read on and offer your thoughts. “Where do I begin? My partner and I are two […]

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Au Pairs and Your Privacy: My Au Pair’s kindof nosy!

by cv harquail March 22, 2010
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When invite an au pair to come live in our home and be ‘part of the family’, our lives become an open book. Frustrated with your DS? Your au pair knows. Threw out 6 bags of organic greens that decomposed in the fridge? She saw it. Hoarding Thin Mints in your special cabinet even though […]

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Au Pair Asks: My Host Mom’s Boyfriend is cramping my (caregiving) style. Advice Please!

by cv harquail March 18, 2010
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When it’s the host parent herself or himself who is making the au pair’s job difficult, she knows exactly what to do — bring the issue up with that host parent, and come to a resolution. But what if the person causing the problems isn’t the host parent, but the host parent’s “friend”? The au […]

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