Can This Au Pair Relationship Be Saved? Real Concerns vs. Nitpicky Concerns

by cv harquail February 8, 2012
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If only the distinction between “real concerns” and “nit-picky concerns” were clearcut, we’d never need to share ideas with each other! We all seem to face, at some point or another, that question: Am I being unreasonable, or are my concerns legit? We have to address this question before we take any action, like asking […]

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Can Au Pairs shorten their Extension, once begun?

by cv harquail February 5, 2012
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Do you know the official answer to this au pair’s query? And, if you were her LCC, what would you advise? Dear Au Pair Mom, I’m an extension Au Pair, living here in the USA since January of 2011 (13 months now). I wanted to know if there is a possibility to change the length […]

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Our Au Pair is Dating My Husband’s Close Friend. Now what?

by cv harquail February 4, 2012
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And speaking of trying to maintain some privacy around ones adult social life, Here’s an email that has me completely stumped.  How do they stay “host parents” to their au pair, and friends with their friend, and have any separate adult social life? We really need your ideas here, folks. Dear Au Pair Mom, I […]

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When Host Parents Divorce, should Au Pairs testify?

by cv harquail February 2, 2012
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Divorces test all relationships within a family. As the primary/initial family relationship dissolves or is destroyed, all other relationships get implicated. Even the relationships with Au Pairs. Previously, when we’ve discussed how divorces affect au pairs, we’ve mentioned things like crazy schedules, divided loyalties, concerns about finances and stability, and even whether one parent can […]

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Thriving despite conflicts: 9 Rules of Negotiating with Your Au Pair

by cv harquail January 29, 2012
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One of the crazy benefits of being an au pair mom or dad is that host parenting gives us many chances to practice skills that make us better everywhere in our lives. Chief among the skills we get to practice is how to negotiate. By using conflicts with our au pairs (or even simple disagreements […]

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Should au pair rules be changed, to allow for “extra vacation without pay”?

by cv harquail January 25, 2012
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Within the legal boundaries of the au pair program, both host parents and au pairs like to have a bit of personal discretion. We want to be able to satisfy family demands and any sensible au pair dreams. We want to be flexible when issues come up, and we want to be accommodating and reasonably […]

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Do you let your Au Pair drive in the snow?

by cv harquail January 23, 2012
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Snowstorms in weird places (like Oregon) and snowstorms in predictable places (like Chicago) have raised the question for many aupair host parents — Do you allow your au pair to drive in the snow? Of course, there are a million variables that affect this decision. Here are the ones I came up with off the […]

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Would you ask your Au Pair to help out at someone else’s party?

by cv harquail January 22, 2012
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Do you think it’s appropriate to ask an au pair to got to your kids’ school and help out at a birthday event there, for someone else’s kids? Here’s the email that prompts the question: Dear AuPairMom – I am mostly satisfied with the family I am working for. We’ve had a few problems but […]

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When an ‘Au Pair’ should really be a Nanny

by cv harquail January 19, 2012
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Sometimes you just don’t want to read the subject lines of the emails that show up in our AuPairMom emailbox. The email posted below came with the subject line, “Am I being taken advantage of?”. But, by the time the au pair finished telling her story, it was clear it the subjuct should have been […]

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F.A.Q.: Must we use an Au Pair Agency to engage an Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 14, 2012
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Must we use an Au Pair Agency to engage an Au Pair? Yes. Sure, you can go it alone, but then you would not be operating within US Law. We emphatically recommend that you use an approved agency to find and retain your au pair. Following the laws and regulations protects both your family and […]

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