When You Suspect That Your Au Pair is Lying. A lot.

by cv harquail February 4, 2013

From Ananomousthistime Our current AP has been here since the summer. On one hand, she takes good care of the children, is responsible and follows our instructions. I used to think she was a GREAT AP. I should also mention that we place a very high value on honesty in our home. We respect the […]

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Despite bad Au Pair performance: “My heart can’t handle the thought of destroying her life by sending her home”

by cv harquail February 3, 2013

AFHost Mom posted this in the comments of a different post, and I’ve moved it here so that it can have its own conversation. Au Pair Moms, I need a reality check. We’ve just extended with our South American AP. She is very loving, very sweet, and loves the kids a lot. Her care has […]

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Concerns and Comment Moderation Policy

by cv harquail February 1, 2013
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Dear Au Pair Mom Readers, I’ve received a handful of personal emails raising concerns about a shift in the tone of our conversations here on the blog. I appreciate these emails and also the comments directly on the posts themselves about what kinds of comments are appropropriate here. I take these efforts as a sign […]

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When You Give Your Extension Au Pair a Raise, And She Wants More

by cv harquail January 29, 2013
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What a conversation we’ve been having about whether (or not) to offer an outstanding extension au pair a raise above the mandated weekly stipend! This all was prompted by an email from the aptly self-named “Host Mom Who Wants To Be Fair”. HM2bFair writes: Dear Au Pair Mom, I’m hoping to get some good advice […]

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Au Pairing in Europe vs. in the USA

by cv harquail January 28, 2013
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A note from AuPairMom muse, ShouldBeWorking: Here is an insight I just had about USA vs. European au pair programs. It’s a surprising paradox: The US Au Pair Program is actually more “European” in the way it works: It is highly regulated; Insurance is included in the program (built into fees paid on both sides); […]

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Does Your Extension Au Pair Deserve a Raise?

by cv harquail January 24, 2013
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The experience of a happy au pair year is its own reward. And extending this positive experience is a great way to turn this reward into a bonus. When an au pair and a host family extend their contract with each other for an additional 6, 9, or 12 months, everybody gets a bonus. The […]

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What To Do When Your Au Pair Doesn’t Bathe

by cv harquail January 20, 2013
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Some issues are just too awkward to talk about. But we have to talk about them anyway, because these are the very issues that keep host parents and au pairs from really connecting. We’ve hit some of these issues already– contraceptives, personal safety, swimming when she has her period (I told you they were awkward!), […]

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What Do You Look For In A Male Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 18, 2013
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When we talk about how to choose an au pair, we’re usually talking about female au pairs. Although I/we try to make advice on this blog ‘gender neutral’, most of the time we’re discussing how ‘general’ desirable characteristics get demonstrated by young women.  And, while the characteristics we look for might seem gender-neutral, they are laden […]

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Child Care Chores Quiz: Are any chores on this list off limits?

by cv harquail January 16, 2013
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What actually counts as a legitimate Child Care Chore? Do we routinely ask our Au Pairs to do chores that are not really legitimate Child Care Chores? HostMcMom sent me a list of things on her  au pair’s ChildCare Chores list. As I looked over her list, I wondered about an item or two that […]

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When Your Au Pair Won’t Do More Than Mind Your Child: Child Care Chores

by cv harquail January 12, 2013

How do you teach an au pair that ‘childcare’ includes more than just caring directly for your child/ren, in real time? We all know that childcare means not only one-to-one interacting with the child and the child’s needs, but also doing child-related work ‘offline’. But many au pairs (especially new ones) struggle with this, because […]

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