Explaining a Rematch to Host Children

by cv harquail October 22, 2010
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“It’s not you, it’s me.” if there is one time we want an au pair to appear somewhat self-focused, it’s when he or she is explaining to host kids that they are going into rematch. When an au pair says goodbye to host children, the AP should offer an explanation that puts responsibility solely on […]

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The Two Weeks are up– what do I do with the rematching Au Pair now?

by cv harquail October 20, 2010

Sometimes we host parents make all the right moves, and still get stuck. This host dad did his best to make a good match, got an au pair who couldn’t drive, did his best to get her to learn, got clarity that learning wouldn’t happen, did his best to initiate rematch, and now is stuck […]

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New baby, New Challenges for your Au Pair

by cv harquail October 19, 2010
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When a new baby arrives, so do lots of new family dynamics. We’ve discussed so of these already, in the conversation about Having another baby? How to tell your au pair. But, we recently got this request from an au pair, who’d like some help in thinking about the challenges of a new baby in […]

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Au Pair Asks: What happens when you discover that you can’t provide what your Host Kid with Special Needs needs?

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

Dear AuPairMoms- What happens when the au pair is placed with a host family that has a special needs child, and it isn’t working out? Both the agency and the host family knew beforehand that the au pair did not have any previous experience with special needs, but the Au Pair chose to take the […]

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Finding an Au Pair for a child with Special Needs: Willingness is not enough

by cv harquail October 15, 2010
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When I first noticed that au pairs could indicate with a simple check mark whether they were “willing” to match with a family with host kids with special needs, I was surprised. I was pleased that there was an easy way for au pair candidates to indicate, without embarrassment, whether or not they felt they […]

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Regulations & Additional Training for Au Pairs of Children with Special Needs

by cv harquail October 15, 2010
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The guidelines of the US Dept. of State regarding au pairs states that : Au pairs may not be placed: In families with a special needs child, as identified by the family. The au pair can work with a special needs child if s/he has identified prior experience, skill, or training in caring for special […]

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Checking Facebook for Insights About Your Au Pair’s Experience

by cv harquail October 13, 2010
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Who needs to snoop in an au pair’s room or flip through an au pair’s journal, when there is Facebook to tell us our au pair’s inner thoughts? Not that any of us would intentionally snoop.  (As we’ve already discussed, there are very few and very specific times when snooping seems even remotely reasonable.) And, […]

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She extended, and left her enthusiasm behind…

by cv harquail October 9, 2010

Readers, we got this request from one of our regular contributors, who needs our advice this time…  Her situation is long, and the story is complex, but I’m posting it all because (it seems to me) that the context matters. There are issues of schedule change, trauma in the Host Mom’s life, efforts to work […]

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Can you train an Au Pair to be conscious of safety?

by cv harquail October 7, 2010
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Hi AuPairMom, I can’t believe I’m sending this email, but I am at my wit’s end and don’t quite know where else to turn. I’ve been lurking on your blog for about 3 months, ever since we decided that an au pair situation would be a good one for us (we’re first timers). Here’s a […]

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An Open Letter to Au Pairs without an Agency, Outside the USA

by cv harquail October 5, 2010
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Be sure to read the comments! There is some terrific information about how agencies work (or don’t work) in specific countries! Dear Au Pairs- I’m writing this letter to you to tell you a cold, difficult truth: As much as you hope that you did some careful screening of possible host families, and as much […]

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