My Future Host Mom’s Sister is Creeping Me Out

by cv harquail November 28, 2010
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Okay, “creeping me out” is clearly an American idiom that I have supplied as a headline, but that phrase seems to capture the dynamic going on for this cautious au pair. She’s matched with a family, and getting to know them through emails, etc. before she joins the family in a few months. The family […]

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Your Au Pair Counselor As A Local Expert and Resource

by cv harquail November 27, 2010
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All local Community Counselors are trained in the fundamental, general issues that are relevant to each and every au pair – host parent relationship. Community Counselors (CCs) must know the US State Department au pair regulations, the contract details of the agency they represent, and the au pair contact, support & rematch practices of their […]

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Thanksgiving Buffet

by cv harquail November 24, 2010

Wondering what we’ve talked about in previous years? Here’s a list of Thanksgiving posts from the olden days… More Thanksgiving Day ideas…for you and your Au Pair Leftover Thanksgiving Tips for your Au Pair Relationship 3 Reasons Having an Au Pair Has Been Great for My Family Thanksgiving Day Tip: Involve your Au Pair in […]

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Our Au Pair Doesn’t Understand How Her Actions Affect Our Family

by cv harquail November 21, 2010
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A regular reader sent me a long email about traveling with her Au Pair over the Christmas holiday. This reader is one of those very experienced, very thoughtful host moms who takes pains to see all sides of a situation, before doing her very best to be clear, constructive, and kind when she interacts with […]

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Am I being unfair if I move on, and find another au pair?

by cv harquail November 20, 2010
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Here’s a request for some of your host parent wisdom: I am in need of opinions as to whether or not I am being unfair to our au pair. We have had the pleasure of hosting a delightful young woman for 1 year and we both agreed to a year-long extension. We have been pleased […]

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What if we don’t follow through to rematch, when we said we would?

by cv harquail November 19, 2010
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One of the most important lessons I learned when my kids were toddlers, and one of the important lessons I’ve tried to impart to our au pairs, is that actions have consequences. If we said no drawing on the wall and you drew on the wall, well then you would not be able to use […]

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How do you get a refund from an Au Pair Agency after a flameout Au Pair?

by cv harquail November 18, 2010
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A “flameout” au pair is one who obviously never intended to do the job of an au pair. Few things are more infuriating to a host parent than going through ll the work (and cost) of screening, interviewing and matching with an au pair– not to mentioned preparing kids and home — to have that […]

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Reading the Fine Print: How do Au Pair Agency contracts differ?

by cv harquail November 16, 2010
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With our previous conversation about whether or not an au pair is supposed to be paid pocket money if s/he takes additional vacation weeks, I was reminded of this very simple and confusing issue: Although US regulations apply to any US au pair, each agency has its own ways of interpreting and explaining the rules. […]

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Our Au Pair Wants More Vacation: How to handle?

by cv harquail November 13, 2010
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Every au pair gets two weeks paid vacation, and the convention is to have the host family choose one week, while the au pair chooses the other, subject to family agreement. The host family has slightly more ‘say’ about vacation scheduling, simply because the host parents need to arrange for childcare while the au pair […]

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Eating Out at Restaurants: Advice for Host Families and Au Pairs

by cv harquail November 11, 2010
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Our rocking, sane and helpful conversation about all things related to food at home has emboldened me (and maybe you) to tackle a specific food situation– eating out at restaurants. I’m thinking about the evenings when no one has the energy to cook and you’re tired of pizza, or when you’re dining ‘on the road’ […]

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