At Best, Two Weeks of Resentment?: How to handle that rematch period

by cv harquail December 22, 2010
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How many among us who have lived through a rematch can describe the two weeks between agreeing to a rematch and having the au pair depart as anything close to a pleasant, respectful experience? I’m not even going to put up a poll for that question. I bet, too, that one reason we don’t initiate […]

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How Can You Help Your Au Pair Feel at Home over the Holidays?

by cv harquail December 20, 2010
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Last night I was ironing a pretty Christmas tablecover given to us by the cousin of one of our au pairs, when he was visiting a few years ago. Smoothing out the God Jul! embroidery, I looked up to see the Swedish straw reindeer, the sleigh candle holder, the Dala horse ornaments,  and one of […]

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My Au Pair is Stealing Little Items: Should I rematch?

by cv harquail December 16, 2010
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This query was tucked away in a previous post: Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you. I thought it deserved its own, up-to-the-minute conversation. From Host Mom Pippa: I just last week caught our au pair stealing little items from us, confronted her, and then caught her the next day stealing more. AP […]

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A Series of Bad Matches: Is it you, or your au pair Agency?

by cv harquail December 14, 2010

No one is responsible for a great host parent-au pair relationship. Or, rather, no one person or entity is responsible for great host parent-au pair relationship. That responsibility is shared between three parties: 1. The Au Pair her- or himself 2. The Host Parent(s), and 3. The Au Pair Agency. Because we host parents know […]

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When an Invasion of Privacy Threatens an Au Pair Relationship

by cv harquail December 9, 2010
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There’s a reason we have doors on our bedrooms, and it’s not to keep out the light or the noise when we’re trying to fall asleep– it’s to give us some privacy where we can completely relax, knowing that no one will see whatever it is we are doing. Sometimes I’ve felt like there is […]

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Is it reasonable to stop trusting my Au Pair after this?

by cv harquail December 5, 2010
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When we share a bond of trust with another person, we can can handle almost any kind of conflict or difference of opinion. For most of us, we begin our relationships with our au pairs with a foundation of ‘swift trust’, and then build on this foundation as each party meets their obligations, treats the […]

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Will a Host Family Take Me if I Struggle with English?

by cv harquail December 3, 2010
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We got this question from a potential au pair — Aupair mom, It is nice to find a place like these, at the moment im I am in the early stages of my application as Aupair in America. i have been reading a lot of posts, and it have been very interesting and helpful. To […]

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My Au Pair has Awful Table Manners

by cv harquail December 2, 2010
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Dear AuPairMom Readers — What do you do when your (otherwise great, fabulous) AP has ATROCIOUS table manners – think smacking and chewing sounds not even heard at a trucker convention! Chews with mouth open, talks with mouth full of food, slurps drinks, smacks lips when chewing….it is REALLY LOUD. It is also setting a […]

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Check out challenge: Our au pair is leaving, and …

by cv harquail November 30, 2010

AuPairMoms–  I’m curious if anyone has been in this situation or how you would recommend handling this. We are leaving the AP program and our LCC is now MIA. Our AP’s year is up Dec 27th but she asked to leave the program early to go home to her country. Her last day with us […]

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Wanted: Good (and Kind) Comebacks to Unsolicited Advice

by cv harquail November 28, 2010
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Dear AuPairMom Readers- I am a 40 year old mother of three wonderful and well mannered boys. I have a great marriage and love my professional life. As a younger woman I have had many adventures. I have traveled to many countries and even lived abroad. I have no complaints. So why, why, why do […]

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