Helping our au pairs in the grey space between what we say we’ll do and what we get done

by cv harquail June 23, 2011
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It will come as no surprise to most au pairs that most of us host parents have high expectations for ourselves that we often can’t meet. We want to be good drivers, calm parents, regular exercisers, and people who pick up after ourselves. And we are– just not all the time (not most of us, […]

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What if you Au Pair thinks your child might need professional help?

by cv harquail June 17, 2011
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Our au pairs get an up-close and personal view of our families. Sometimes they see things we don’t see, maybe even things we don’t want to see for ourselves. Because au pairs interact with our children when we parents are often not around, and they spend longs days with our kids, they may notice things […]

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When your Au Pair meets the Kids’ Needs but not the Parent’s Expectations: Ideas wanted

by cv harquail June 14, 2011
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Kids and parents want different things. Kids want to stay up, parents want to go to sleep. Kids want to make a mess, parents want that mess cleaned up (eventually). Kids get engaged in fun and learning, while parents must take care of safety, nutrition, and other not-quite-as-fun stuff. We have different sets of priorities. […]

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Au Pair Asks: Is it okay to call it quits?

by cv harquail June 12, 2011
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Dear Au Pair Mom, Hi, I emailed once before about an angry 11 year old and was wondering if I could bother you once more for some advice. I’ve now been here 5 and 1/2 months and I really feel like rematch is the only option now. I realise this is incredibly inconvenient for my […]

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Au Pairs and Online Romances: Your role as a Host Parent

by cv harquail June 10, 2011
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As host parents we feel responsible for keeping our au pairs safe, since they are under our roofs and with our families. However, we recognize that what they do on their own time is (largely) their own business. Au pairs deserve social autonomy, privacy, and the chance to experiment with new things and new relationships. […]

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Does your Au Pair attend kids’ school celebrations?

by cv harquail June 8, 2011

I got this question, from OBMom, just after I sent my DH yet another email with the details of daughter #2’s school dance performance and implored him (okay, nagged him) once again to make sure he gets there on time . We are overwhelmed by end-of-school events. June is the née September, I’ll say, and […]

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Matching Again with a Former Au Pair

by cv harquail June 3, 2011
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Can we ever ‘step in the same river twice’? Can we pick up where we left off in a great host family – au pair relationship? Or, is every au pair match, no matter with whom, a new adventure? Is it possible to answer ‘yes’ to all of those questions, at the same time? HostMominVA […]

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Choosing an Au Pair: Application Videos as Tools to Help Matching

by cv harquail May 26, 2011

If a picture paints a thousand words, then what does an Au Pair’s application video do? Au Pair videos seem like a great way to get a sense of an au pair’s personality and command of English. Even though someone could script and then rehearse perfect grammar and expression, you’d still get o hear his […]

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Choosing an Au Pair: Will being “in recovery” from an eating disorder ruin my chances to Au Pair?

by cv harquail May 22, 2011
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Would you match with a candidate who told you that she’d been treated for anorexia, and was currently healthy and in recovery? (Keep in mind that being “in recovery” for an anorexic is like being ‘”in recovery” for an alcoholic, in the sense that you are never “over it”, but always in the process of […]

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The Saturday Night Situation: When your Au Pair doesn’t think it’s fair that s/he’s on duty

by cv harquail May 21, 2011
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There are two kinds of host family schedules — those that use up all of their 45 hours during the host parents’ Mon – Fri work week, and — those that don’t. I can pretty much guarantee you that if your host family schedule is the second kind, and you try to use your au […]

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