What To Do When Your Au Pair Doesn’t Bathe

by cv harquail January 20, 2013
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Some issues are just too awkward to talk about. But we have to talk about them anyway, because these are the very issues that keep host parents and au pairs from really connecting. We’ve hit some of these issues already– contraceptives, personal safety, swimming when she has her period (I told you they were awkward!), […]

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What Do You Look For In A Male Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 18, 2013
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When we talk about how to choose an au pair, we’re usually talking about female au pairs. Although I/we try to make advice on this blog ‘gender neutral’, most of the time we’re discussing how ‘general’ desirable characteristics get demonstrated by young women.  And, while the characteristics we look for might seem gender-neutral, they are laden […]

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Child Care Chores Quiz: Are any chores on this list off limits?

by cv harquail January 16, 2013
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What actually counts as a legitimate Child Care Chore? Do we routinely ask our Au Pairs to do chores that are not really legitimate Child Care Chores? HostMcMom sent me a list of things on her  au pair’s ChildCare Chores list. As I looked over her list, I wondered about an item or two that […]

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When Your Au Pair Won’t Do More Than Mind Your Child: Child Care Chores

by cv harquail January 12, 2013

How do you teach an au pair that ‘childcare’ includes more than just caring directly for your child/ren, in real time? We all know that childcare means not only one-to-one interacting with the child and the child’s needs, but also doing child-related work ‘offline’. But many au pairs (especially new ones) struggle with this, because […]

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Can an Au Pair be On-Duty to House Sit or Pet Sit?

by cv harquail January 9, 2013

Is it okay to ask your Au Pair to live at your house while you are away on vacation, and to take care of your family pet? Dear AuPairMom– My husband and I are hosting an Au Pair for the first time. We have three kids, ages 13, 10 and 5 and I am a […]

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Can married couples get jobs as Au Pairs? Or a person with his/her own child?

by cv harquail January 7, 2013
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Occasionally we get emails asking whether and how people who are not single and childless themselves can become au pairs. I’m sure this happens because people don’t usually understand that — in the USA — an au pair position is more strictly defined than in other countries. I’m not sure, though, whether being married or […]

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What is the right way to discipline your Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 4, 2013
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“Go sit in the corner.” Over the holidays, someone told me that they’d heard about an au pair who was told by her host mom to “go sit in the corner” as punishment for doing something wrong with the kids. I was appalled. What did that host mom think she was doing, disciplining an au […]

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On Duty or Off Duty: There is no third choice. Or is there?

by cv harquail December 29, 2012
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ON Duty or OFF Duty. There are only two choices for the hours on your au pair’s schedule. Host parents that try to establish a third choice, where an au pair is neither on duty nor off duty, are starting down the slippery slope of “taking advantage” of an au pair. ON Duty = Paid […]

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Start By Following the Rules: Au Pair Asks About Hours, Holidays and Discipline

by cv harquail December 29, 2012
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97% of the time that something goes wrong between an au pair and a host family, it’s because one or both parties is not following the rules. Okay, maybe it’s not 97%. Maybe it’s just 95%. But in the vast majority of the problems we talk about here, someone isn’t following the rules. We got […]

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Pinning Your Hopes on a Happy Holiday: Gift Ideas from APIA’s Christine Connally

by cv harquail December 22, 2012
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There are several concessions that I have to make regarding online tools so that I can actually get my behind and my attention out from in front of my computer. With work that requires reading, writing, editing and analyzing data, and hobbies that invite reading, writing, surfing and rabbit holes, there are things to which […]

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