3 Tips for Cross-Cultural Conversation

by cv harquail September 30, 2012
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When you and your au pair struggle to communicate — even when you both speak English resonably well– it can be hard to know whether the problem is “attitude” or “comprehension”. We see issue a lot in comments about au pairs who are given lists of tasks but don’t do them, or host parents who […]

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What To Do About Au Pair Bath Towels: Folks want to know (Poll)

by cv harquail September 28, 2012
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Dear Au Pair Mom- What do you think about towels. Should I get my au pair her own personal set of towels? I expect to provide towels for our APs, but so far both of our au pairs have gone out and bought their own. I’d told both au pairs not to bring towels from […]

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The Five Actions of Gratitude

by cv harquail September 27, 2012
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Nothing takes the sting out of tough interaction with your au pair than a moment of gratitude for all that s/he does for your and your family. Studies show that regularly reflecting on things that are good and that you can be grateful for help to keep you in a more positive place, no matter […]

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Which bedroom to choose for your Au Pair?

by cv harquail September 26, 2012
girls bedroom with owl wall sticker

Lucky you- you’re not only getting an au pair, but also you have a choice of rooms for his or her bedroom!   But which bedroom should you choose– the one near the baby? The big one where s/he’d share the kids’ bathroom or the smaller one where she’d have her own bathroom? Or the […]

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How do you assess an Au Pair candidate who has suffered from depression?

by cv harquail September 24, 2012

Dear Au Pair Mom, We are currently looking for a new aupair and I am concerned about an application that the agency has sent to me.  We have hosted girls for ten years from all over the world. Our kids are 11, 10, and 7 years old. One candidate looks especially good, except for few things. […]

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Your Au Pair’s Bedroom– Minumum Standards

by cv harquail September 22, 2012

An au pair doesn’t need her own separate apartment, an entire wing to herself, or even a bathroom en suite. But there are some minimum standards, and the email (far below) from an au pair suggests that not everyone is paring attention. At minimum, your au pair’s bedroom needs: A bed, lamp, place to store […]

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What Happens After The Words “Dear AuPairMom”?

by cv harquail August 30, 2012

Mom@AuPairMom.com gets lots of interesting emails. Some are from crazy people who can’t spell. Some are from crazy people who don’t speak English. Some are from crazy people who want me to hook them up with an au pair, especially a tall, pretty one. And some are from you — host moms, host dads, au pairs, and […]

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When Matching with an Au Pair, Which Signals to Trust?

by cv harquail August 28, 2012
baby using skype, talking to au pair

Each matching cycle, au pair host families get more and more information about au pair candidates to use when we’re making decisions. Where once we had blurry photocopies of handwritten applications sent through the mail (yes, really!), we now have digital files, translated reference letters, online photo collages, au pair application videos, facebook searches, instant […]

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Should I let my Au Pair drive with her arm in a cast?

by cv harquail August 26, 2012

Quick Answer? No. More details? Here’s the specific situation: I have been a subscriber for years and have found your blog very helpful. Now I need some specific – and timely – advice. My au pair broke her right arm (she is right-handed). Should I let her drive? Can she drive the children? She has […]

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Is it the au pair’s schedule or is it her attitude?

by cv harquail August 25, 2012

(Sorry All-  I know the formatting is messed up. So much for trying to post from the Garden State Parkway.  Here it is, in odd form, until I can fix it tomorrow. ;-)  ) Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s driving the behavior of an au pair ( or anyone else for that matter, but […]

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