When Your Au Pair Wants to Extend– But Not With You

by cv harquail December 10, 2013
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Her au pair sat down in the kitchen, sipped her Diet Coke, and said: “Of course, don’t take it personally. I’ve really loved being an au pair, but your kids are bratty, your house is a mess, your rules are insane, and you make me work Saturday nights. So I’m thinking, maybe I’ll look for […]

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Thanksgiving Is Not A Spectator Sport: How Will You Involve Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail November 23, 2013
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Thanksgiving is a time when all Host Parents find that they need to get into the ‘Cultural Exchange’ mode.  You can’t just plant yourself on Grandad’s Barcolounger hogging the remote, expect everything to unfold the usual way.  And, you can’t expect that your au pair will feel as comfortable as this kitty (left) if her/his […]

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When Host Moms Need Support and Not Just Advice

by cv harquail November 23, 2013
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AuPairMom gets two kinds of emails– emails asking for advice on how or what to do, and emails asking for support in just dealing with whatever is happening. Interestingly, every email we get is BOTH of those types. Sometimes we know what we need to do. For example, almost every email asking ‘Should we go […]

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Departure Gift Ideas– For Not-So-Great Au Pair

by cv harquail October 15, 2013
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“We only have to endure our au pair for 6 more weeks!”, writes a Host mom.” Yes, endure. Very long story, but we have had a mediocre au pair for the past 10 + months. She only wants to party, lies consistently, does not respect curfew, treats our children like potato sacks, and I have […]

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When a Host Parent Is Diagnosed With Asbergers, How Does This Reshape The Au Pair Relationship?

by cv harquail October 13, 2013
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We’ve had some wonderfully honest, thoughtful and insightful conversations here on Au Pair Mom about how to manage relationship dynamics with Au Pairs who have emotional challenges or histories,  and children who have cognitive or developmental ‘special needs’ — chronic cognitive or relational challenges that families need to support. But we haven’t even talked about […]

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Quick Tip: How to find great stuff on AuPairMom

by cv harquail October 12, 2013
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For newbies, oldbies, and the generally curious…. Here’s a page of Tips for Finding Great Stuff on AuPairMom. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.   Image: Rabbit Hole,  Some rights reserved by wayneandwax

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Can’t seem to fill the Au Pair Educational Requirement. What to do?

by cv harquail October 10, 2013
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Help! We are having a serious issue with the educational component for our au pair. Dear AuPairMom– Our au pair came to us in early January of last year, too late to start classes for the semester. We had planned to get her registered in the summer, but my military duty unexpectedly took me away […]

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My Au Pair Application Isn’t Completely True. What should I do?

by cv harquail October 8, 2013
truth lies

We host parents absolutely depend on an au pair’s application to get an accurate and complete representation of that au pair’s background.   Part of the reason why we use Au Pair Agencies rather than websites or Craig’s List is to have a professional (usually, a field person hired by an Agency) interview the au […]

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Is it a Personality Thing, or a Training Thing, or Some Other Thing?

by cv harquail October 6, 2013
baby tears

Even when we don’t have enough information about the ‘real’ problem between a host parent and an au pair, the action steps are the same: 1. Check your expectations, 2. Talk with each other candidly, and 3. Give each other a chance to change. Here’s an email from a host mom having trouble: Dear Au Pair Mom Readers, […]

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Personal Time: Do Host Parents take it personally when Au Pairs retreat to their rooms?

by cv harquail September 16, 2013
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It can be so easy to misinterpret behaviors — and to take offense where none is intended. Tone of voice, awkward choice of words, different cultural norms, and even the specifics of the ‘moment’ influence the meaning we extract from someone’s behavior. Wait, make that “the meaning we think we extract from someone’s behavior”. Even […]

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