New Year, New Expectations: Having A ‘Reset’ Conversation

by cv harquail January 28, 2015
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[ Here’s one from the archives — We’ve been using the term “reset conversation” a lot this past year… here’s where it comes from, and how to execute one. ] There are several times each year, and several times in each AuPair year, when it makes sense to reset your expectations with your au pair. The […]

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Does Your Au Pair Get Paid A Stipend When S/he’s Sick?

by cv harquail January 26, 2015
soo zzzz

 When your au pair gets sick for more than a few days, questions about substitute childcare, sick days, and additional costs can put pressure on the balancing act between “part of the family” and “employee”. Every family needs a backup plan for the occasional day or two (or three) when an Au Pair is laid […]

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Open Thread: Introducing a New Comments Tool

by cv harquail January 25, 2015
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Time for an open thread– and an upgrade in our commenting practices! I’d like to introduce a new tool, a tool that I’ve been using ‘behind the scenes’ — on about 20% of the comments — to help keep our commenting easy to read and easy to respond to. You might know it by sight or […]

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When Your Au Pair Repeatedly Loses Things

by cv harquail January 23, 2015
glenn euloth lost nemo

I’m known for losing things. Sunglasses, cell phone, car keys, arguments, emergency chocolate, the Costco card… . I try hard to hold on to things, but the absent-minded part of being a professor is really strong with this one. My own sensitivity to losing things has led me to compensate for potential losses in two […]

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When your Au Pair hires a babysitter so s/he can go to the gym. Really?

by cv harquail January 21, 2015
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Whoa there Nellie.  Get down off that exercise equipment. Host Mom Mimi dropped an aside that felt like a bomb. In her comments on Slush Funds vs. Petty Cash jars, Mimi mentions:  “If our AP takes the kids to the gym while she is on the clock, she is responsible for babysitting room fees.” What? HRHM asks in […]

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Help Your Au Pair Take Snow Days In Stride

by cv harquail January 19, 2015
Au Pairs enjoy their first snowfall au pair advice low cost childcare

Few events clarify the gap between how working parents and their school age kids respond to changes than the announcement of a snow day. When I was little, I thought snow days were magical. An overwhelming amount of snow combined with a day off from school seemed like a gift from the heavens — to […]

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Is It Too Late To Extend? Any J-1 Workarounds?

by cv harquail January 18, 2015
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Imagine it — you have an au pair you love. She didn’t want to extend. Now she’s changed her mind, but the agency says it’s too late. Is it really too late? Dear Au Pair Mom– We just ended the year with the world’s best au pair.  She is a part of our family. The […]

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Lost Passport Delays Au Pair’s Arrival. Should we match or move on?

by cv harquail January 17, 2015
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Dear Au Pair Moms– We’ve got a crazy delay in our Au Pair’s arrival that messes up my carefully made plans. Specifically, we are looking at a 3-5 week gap, maybe longer, to figure out childcare and wait for our au pair who lost her visa. Can you advise me what to do? Our old au […]

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Reimbursing Your Au Pair: Petty Cash Jars or Slush Funds?

by cv harquail January 16, 2015
au pair advice, petty cash

How does your family manage paying for small things, like pizzas, movie tickets, or another gallon of milk? Petty Cash Jars I’m a big fan of the petty cash jar (or in our case, a zippered pencil case /envelope in the kitchen drawer).   I keep about $20 in the envelope– usually in $1s and […]

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Awkward Arrival Time But We Like This Au Pair — Should We Match or Move On?

by cv harquail January 15, 2015
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We’re new to the AP process, currently interviewing for our first AP ever. I’m in academia, and was hoping for someone to start in July or August, so that they can get comfortable with my son (will be 3 years old in the Fall) before school starts back up in September. One issue is that […]

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