Violence In The Host Family Home: What Should An Au Pair Do?

by cv harquail February 18, 2013

Because Au Pairs live with families, inside their homes and inside their family lives, Au Pairs often see things that outsiders do not. Au Pairs see not just messy kitchens or heaps of laundry. Sometimes they also see emotional and physical abuse among host family members. Violence in the Home I don’t like to call […]

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How To Help Your Au Pair Create a Happy Social Life

by cv harquail February 14, 2013
au pair, social life

While we all want to avoid getting the “Party Girl” Au Pair or the “Frat Boy” Bro-Pair, we want our au pairs to establish their own happy social lives. And, when we parents are older, busy, and/or not-very-into-whatever, we don’t always have ways to help our au pairs use their off-duty time to build their […]

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On Valentine’s Day, Give Your Au Pair a Heart Attack

by cv harquail February 12, 2013
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  What are you doing to celebrate Valentine’s Day with your Au Pair? My girls just finished decorating our kitchen for Valentine’s Day-– some shiny hearts, a glittery “I Love You” sign, and a few foil garlands. Tomorrow I’ll put up the heart-shaped wreath with the tiny lights, then the special valentine that Petal made […]

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Can This Relationship Be Saved?: Au Pair Seems to be Giving Up

by cv harquail February 11, 2013

Waaa waaa waaa waaa…… Sometimes I hear stories about au pairs and their complaints and I want to say: “Dude, grow UP.” “No one forced you to become an au pair. No one forced you to pick this particular family. No one’s making you do anything out of the ordinary. No one’s skimping on your […]

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Cut Your Losses: When your Au Pair starts lying before she even arrives

by cv harquail February 10, 2013
cut your losses, au pair who lies

Our conversation about “when you discover that your au pair is lying” could go on forever, since there are so many different situations in which a lie can be a problem — or something to gloss over. We lie (parents and au pairs) to save face, to avoid consequences, and sometimes to deliberately deceive someone so that […]

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When You Suspect That Your Au Pair is Lying. A lot.

by cv harquail February 4, 2013

From Ananomousthistime Our current AP has been here since the summer. On one hand, she takes good care of the children, is responsible and follows our instructions. I used to think she was a GREAT AP. I should also mention that we place a very high value on honesty in our home. We respect the […]

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Despite bad Au Pair performance: “My heart can’t handle the thought of destroying her life by sending her home”

by cv harquail February 3, 2013

AFHost Mom posted this in the comments of a different post, and I’ve moved it here so that it can have its own conversation. Au Pair Moms, I need a reality check. We’ve just extended with our South American AP. She is very loving, very sweet, and loves the kids a lot. Her care has […]

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Concerns and Comment Moderation Policy

by cv harquail February 1, 2013
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Dear Au Pair Mom Readers, I’ve received a handful of personal emails raising concerns about a shift in the tone of our conversations here on the blog. I appreciate these emails and also the comments directly on the posts themselves about what kinds of comments are appropropriate here. I take these efforts as a sign […]

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When You Give Your Extension Au Pair a Raise, And She Wants More

by cv harquail January 29, 2013
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What a conversation we’ve been having about whether (or not) to offer an outstanding extension au pair a raise above the mandated weekly stipend! This all was prompted by an email from the aptly self-named “Host Mom Who Wants To Be Fair”. HM2bFair writes: Dear Au Pair Mom, I’m hoping to get some good advice […]

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Au Pairing in Europe vs. in the USA

by cv harquail January 28, 2013
europe-according-to-the-united-states-of-america-716x477.jpg

A note from AuPairMom muse, ShouldBeWorking: Here is an insight I just had about USA vs. European au pair programs. It’s a surprising paradox: The US Au Pair Program is actually more “European” in the way it works: It is highly regulated; Insurance is included in the program (built into fees paid on both sides); […]

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