Personal Time: Do Host Parents take it personally when Au Pairs retreat to their rooms?

by cv harquail September 16, 2013
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It can be so easy to misinterpret behaviors — and to take offense where none is intended. Tone of voice, awkward choice of words, different cultural norms, and even the specifics of the ‘moment’ influence the meaning we extract from someone’s behavior. Wait, make that “the meaning we think we extract from someone’s behavior”. Even […]

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Is There a Sensible Way Around “Infant Care” Restrictions?

by cv harquail September 14, 2013
kitten

This question is a great one for Local Counselors to answer– have you had experience with this issue? Dear Au Pair Moms  ~~   We have found a prospective au pair who is just great and seem like she would fit perfectly into our family. She has been in the USA with another family and […]

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Dead End: When you need an Au Pair to drive, but your Au Pair can’t

by cv harquail August 31, 2013
dead end

When you read the email, below, you’ll think the challenge is about the au pair not being able to drive. And not being able to learn. And really needing an au pair who can drive. And deciding to drive her back and forth to her evening class. And more. Really? If the problem really were […]

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Keeping Up With Changing Times… or not?

by cv harquail August 26, 2013
brownie

A long time contributor to AuPairMom sent us a fascinating challenge: How should Host Parents respond to their Au Pair’s interest in trying pot, now that it’s actually legal in their state? I must say, this is a host parenting challenge that never occurred to me– and it’s intriguing. On the one hand– it’s legal. […]

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How Much Does the Au Pair Agency You Choose Really Matter?

by cv harquail August 21, 2013
apples

Of all the pieces that go into finding, matching and working with an au pair that’s ‘right for you’, the agency you choose is pretty low on the totem pole. I say that having only ever used one agency, so I know I’m not speaking from experience. At least with regard to agencies. Instead, I […]

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Share what you know about Au Pairs and Cross Cultural Communications!

by cv harquail August 7, 2013
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Earlier this spring, I was interviewed for a research project on cross cultural challenges with host families and au pairs. The researchers recently wrote to tell me they’ are having a difficult time getting the number of interviewees that they need, and they asked if I could share this request on AuPairMom: “We are two […]

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Gone Fishin’ — Back in mid-August

by cv harquail August 7, 2013
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Too Stern? Or Not Stern Enough? Your Au Pair’s ‘Tone of Voice’ with Kids

by cv harquail August 6, 2013
twilight sparkle

From Should be working How can I help the AP know – when to be tough, – when to insist, – when to give in, – when to just do it for the kid even though the kid can do it for himself, – when to reach for the ‘strict tone’ and when to leave […]

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The Two Biggest Reasons Host Parents Push the Limits of the Au Pair Program

by cv harquail July 18, 2013
blue skies ahead cathynichols

Host Parents in the AuPairMom community do their very best to follow the spirit and the letter of the Au Pair Program. Yet even the most honorable, rule-abiding host parents can feel pressure to push the limits of the Au Pair program. Why? Because — as designed– an Au Pair working according to the rules […]

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How might an Au Pair help a grieving family?

by cv harquail July 17, 2013
chasing vine

Dear Au Pair Moms – I was an AP for 2 years with a family, then came back home. Now, two years later, I will be going back to help the family during a very difficult time. I wanted to go back  because my HD got diagnosed with cancer last year, and with the kids’ […]

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