Toddler “Hates” New Au Pair. What to do?

by cv harquail October 8, 2015
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Our third Au Pair just arrived and has been here for almost three weeks. She is very sweet, is trying hard, and while she may be too meek for our family, we are hoping she will come out of her shell with time.  We may have made a mistake by overlapping her with our last […]

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When Your Au Pair Eats “Too Much”

by cv harquail October 2, 2015
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When you sign up for an Au Pair, you imagine your grocery bills to get about 20% larger. What’s incremental — beyond what you’re already buying — is another adult size portion of the main foods — another 8 oz of meat for each entree, 7 more bowls of cereal, another 3/4 of a gallon […]

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Au Pairs and Modesty: A Challenge of Cultural Fit

by cv harquail September 29, 2015
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I had just come back from dropping my kid off at school. As I climbed out of my car, my neighbor walked by on the way to the park with my favorite golden retriever. I was compelled to run down the driveway and get a cuddle from that darn dog. It was only when I […]

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When is the Best Time to Discuss Extending with an Au Pair?

by cv harquail September 22, 2015
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When your family has found an au pair who really fits, and when an au pair has found a situation where s/he’s flourishing, the obvious question is — should we extend? Extensions can be a gift to both the family and the au pair. The Au Pair gets a few more months on the USS […]

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If Host Parents Can’t Respect Au Pair Contract Rules, Nothing Else Matters

by cv harquail September 16, 2015
amy gaines

For international Au Pairs/ Host Families Outside the USA There’s a hierarchy of requirements for a good Au Pair & Host Parent relationship. Much like Maslow’s famous Hierarchy of Needs, you can’t achieve the higher levels of a good relationship without the basics being there first. Au Pairs and Host Parents ultimately have different hierarchies, […]

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Dear Au Pair: Yes, You Should Feel Guilty

by cv harquail September 11, 2015
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Of the five types of emails we get most often from Au Pairs, the most annoying type is when an Au Pair writes hoping we’ll resolve him or her of any guilt they feel over quitting. There are times when it’s absolutely okay to quit. To ask for rematch. To throw in the towel and just go […]

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5 Ways for Au Pairs to Find Other Au Pairs

by cv harquail September 9, 2015
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It’s the season to Welcome New Au Pairs! A time for orienting, driving lessons, checklist making, getting lost, and — sometimes for new Au Pairs — feeling lonely. When a new Au Pair arrives, it’s critical that s/he make a few Au Pair friends right away. Only another Au Pair can understand the unique situation of […]

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Classic Case: Child Hits Au Pair, Cries a Lot, Parents Don’t Care

by cv harquail September 8, 2015
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Here’s a situation that’s hard to write a headline for, and perhaps even harder to solve. We’ve often heard from Au Pairs who have host kids who hit, scream, cry, and throw tantrums. We’ve also often heard from Au Pairs whose Host Parents don’t seem to mind when kids behave badly. When these two situations […]

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The Weirdest Stuff Can Work Sometimes with Au Pair Host Kids

by cv harquail September 3, 2015
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House Elves Encore Presentations Arm Wrestling to decide who gets to decide. Sometimes the sillier you make it, the easier it is for kids to just roll with the concept. In our family, the House Elves are the ones who don’t actually clean up after everyone. They are supposed to, but they don’t. The kids […]

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When What Host Parents Want Isn’t Quite What Host Parents Do

by cv harquail September 1, 2015
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Sometimes I look at my Au Pair handbook and roll my eyes. It is more fantasy than reality. More aspirational than actual. I look at the way I’ve described our family life: “We’re a fun loving family who enjoys playing together“, and I think of all the times I’d have preferred to stay on the […]

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