Host Parent Confidential: Who do you confide in about your au pair relationship challenges?

by cv harquail March 11, 2014
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Supposedly, The best way to stay motivated is to tell people about your goal. Supposedly, The best way to get new insights is to talk about your problem with other people who have different perspectives. So if you want to stay motivated to work on your relationship with your au pair, and you want to get […]

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First Time Here? Please Take Our Survey

by cv harquail March 11, 2014
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If this is your first (or second) visit to AuPairMom, we’d like to hear about what brought you here and whether you found what you need so that we can make the site work better for you.  Will you take our New Visitor Survey?  It’s 10 quick questions–it should take about 1 minute, 2 if you […]

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Notes About The Blog: What’s been happening behind the scenes at AuPairMom

by cv harquail March 9, 2014
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You might be wondering what’s going on here at AuPairMom, what with the revised blog formatting and my efforts to post more often.  I’ve finally put the wheels in motion to ‘upgrade’ AuPairMom so that it works more effectively for you and for me. AuPairMom has got itself a consultant, Shawn. 

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Au Pair Appreciation: Our Feedback Really Matters

by cv harquail March 9, 2014
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Sometimes the posts on AuPairMom make it all the way around the world. Recently, one of the post for AuPair Appreciation Week showed up on the screen of the au pair it described. She writes back: Oh Host Mom,   I am moved to tears,what a wonderful post about me!!  Thank you so much,this article […]

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Don’t Make Your Au Pair Do Your Kids’ Homework

by cv harquail March 8, 2014
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Haven’t we all wished for someone else to do our Algebra homework? That’s normal. What’s not so normal, though, is to ask your au pair to do your 17 year old’s homework. This situation is a little outside our usual boundaries, because the au pair is in Europe (US rules don’t apply), because she has […]

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Interviewing: When An Au Pair Has Special Experience To Offer

by cv harquail March 6, 2014
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Every au pair has his or her ‘thing’ — a hobby, a life experience, a skill or two, a great sense of humor  — that sets them apart as an individual.   In most matches, this stuff is the icing on a cake. For some families though, these skill could help make that au pair […]

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Classic Case: Should we keep trying with a Mediocre Au Pair?

by cv harquail March 4, 2014
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Here’s a situation we see time and time again on AuPairMom: The family has an au pair (often, their first one) and the au pair is only okay. The au pair’s relationship with the kids is “fine”, but the au pair doesn’t follow through on her other responsibilities. The host parents have tried a few […]

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50 Shades of Shocking? Au Pair has trashy taste in reading

by cv harquail March 1, 2014
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It can be pretty exciting to finally ‘find’ your au pair match, and to be able to look forward to meeting your new au pair. That is, until you discover how s/he likes to spend her/his free time. Dear AuPairMom–  Am I a prude, or is this something to be concerned about?   We recently […]

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How to Sabotage the Au Pair’s Authority By Refusing To Discipline Your Kids

by cv harquail February 25, 2014
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When I look around troubling dynamics in the au pair — host child– host parent relationship triangle, I see three Host Parent behaviors that seem to set everyone up to fail: 1. Parents undercutting the au pairs authority, especially by reversing decisions. 2. Parents skimming all the good chores, events and behaviors, leaving the au […]

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Helping Your Au Pair Navigate Health Care Costs & Insurance

by cv harquail February 24, 2014

When an au pair is injured or gets ill, their health insurance is supposed to cover their care. But sometimes managing the both getting care and getting it paid for is more than any of us can handle.    Even those of us host parents who have “good” health insurance can get beaten down by […]

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