If Host Parents Can’t Respect Au Pair Contract Rules, Nothing Else Matters

by cv harquail September 16, 2015
amy gaines

For international Au Pairs/ Host Families Outside the USA There’s a hierarchy of requirements for a good Au Pair & Host Parent relationship. Much like Maslow’s famous Hierarchy of Needs, you can’t achieve the higher levels of a good relationship without the basics being there first. Au Pairs and Host Parents ultimately have different hierarchies, […]

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Dear Au Pair: Yes, You Should Feel Guilty

by cv harquail September 11, 2015
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Of the five types of emails we get most often from Au Pairs, the most annoying type is when an Au Pair writes hoping we’ll resolve him or her of any guilt they feel over quitting. There are times when it’s absolutely okay to quit. To ask for rematch. To throw in the towel and just go […]

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5 Ways for Au Pairs to Find Other Au Pairs

by cv harquail September 9, 2015
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It’s the season to Welcome New Au Pairs! A time for orienting, driving lessons, checklist making, getting lost, and — sometimes for new Au Pairs — feeling lonely. When a new Au Pair arrives, it’s critical that s/he make a few Au Pair friends right away. Only another Au Pair can understand the unique situation of […]

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Classic Case: Child Hits Au Pair, Cries a Lot, Parents Don’t Care

by cv harquail September 8, 2015
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Here’s a situation that’s hard to write a headline for, and perhaps even harder to solve. We’ve often heard from Au Pairs who have host kids who hit, scream, cry, and throw tantrums. We’ve also often heard from Au Pairs whose Host Parents don’t seem to mind when kids behave badly. When these two situations […]

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The Weirdest Stuff Can Work Sometimes with Au Pair Host Kids

by cv harquail September 3, 2015
au pair, mischief, fairies

House Elves Encore Presentations Arm Wrestling to decide who gets to decide. Sometimes the sillier you make it, the easier it is for kids to just roll with the concept. In our family, the House Elves are the ones who don’t actually clean up after everyone. They are supposed to, but they don’t. The kids […]

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When What Host Parents Want Isn’t Quite What Host Parents Do

by cv harquail September 1, 2015
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Sometimes I look at my Au Pair handbook and roll my eyes. It is more fantasy than reality. More aspirational than actual. I look at the way I’ve described our family life: “We’re a fun loving family who enjoys playing together“, and I think of all the times I’d have preferred to stay on the […]

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What’s the Best Way to Instruct Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail August 28, 2015
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“Blah blah blah blah blah.” There must be hundreds of Au Pairs out there who can appreciate this FarSide cartoon by Gary Larsen.** A Host Parent’s constant instruction can quickly become just background noise. Possibly interesting, possibly important, but rarely punctuated by anything that grabs your attention. And we Host Parents have SO much to say, […]

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Does Every Au Pair-Host Parent Relationship Deflate Towards The End?

by cv harquail August 25, 2015
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In a world where most AuPair-Host Parent relationships are just “fine”, are those of us who’ve had terrific Au Pairs simply lucky? Or have we forgotten the hard parts –as we’ve forgotten the pain of childbirth, or the sleepless nights of new parenthood– and just held on tightly to the good? Truth be told, I’ve […]

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We Discovered Our Au Pair Doesn’t Share Our Family Values

by cv harquail August 20, 2015
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For Bothered Host Mom, things started out fine. Then, oops, turns out her au pair wasn’t who she thought she’d be. Now what? Our Au Pair was great — in the beginning. We treated her like a friend and family member, gave her lots of gifts, took her to Vegas for her birthday. She does […]

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Why Extend an Au Pair Who Bothers You?

by cv harquail August 18, 2015
taking my picture

What We Think vs. What We Know This FrustratedHM thinks she should extend with her less than so-so Au Pair. But she knows that she doesn’t want to. Why is it that so many times we ask each other for permission to do what we know is the right action? As if someone’s going to […]

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