Classic Case: Child Hits Au Pair, Cries a Lot, Parents Don’t Care

by cv harquail September 8, 2015
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Here’s a situation that’s hard to write a headline for, and perhaps even harder to solve. We’ve often heard from Au Pairs who have host kids who hit, scream, cry, and throw tantrums. We’ve also often heard from Au Pairs whose Host Parents don’t seem to mind when kids behave badly. When these two situations […]

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The Weirdest Stuff Can Work Sometimes with Au Pair Host Kids

by cv harquail September 3, 2015
au pair, mischief, fairies

House Elves Encore Presentations Arm Wrestling to decide who gets to decide. Sometimes the sillier you make it, the easier it is for kids to just roll with the concept. In our family, the House Elves are the ones who don’t actually clean up after everyone. They are supposed to, but they don’t. The kids […]

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When What Host Parents Want Isn’t Quite What Host Parents Do

by cv harquail September 1, 2015
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Sometimes I look at my Au Pair handbook and roll my eyes. It is more fantasy than reality. More aspirational than actual. I look at the way I’ve described our family life: “We’re a fun loving family who enjoys playing together“, and I think of all the times I’d have preferred to stay on the […]

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What’s the Best Way to Instruct Your Au Pair?

by cv harquail August 28, 2015
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“Blah blah blah blah blah.” There must be hundreds of Au Pairs out there who can appreciate this FarSide cartoon by Gary Larsen.** A Host Parent’s constant instruction can quickly become just background noise. Possibly interesting, possibly important, but rarely punctuated by anything that grabs your attention. And we Host Parents have SO much to say, […]

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Does Every Au Pair-Host Parent Relationship Deflate Towards The End?

by cv harquail August 25, 2015
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In a world where most AuPair-Host Parent relationships are just “fine”, are those of us who’ve had terrific Au Pairs simply lucky? Or have we forgotten the hard parts –as we’ve forgotten the pain of childbirth, or the sleepless nights of new parenthood– and just held on tightly to the good? Truth be told, I’ve […]

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We Discovered Our Au Pair Doesn’t Share Our Family Values

by cv harquail August 20, 2015
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For Bothered Host Mom, things started out fine. Then, oops, turns out her au pair wasn’t who she thought she’d be. Now what? Our Au Pair was great — in the beginning. We treated her like a friend and family member, gave her lots of gifts, took her to Vegas for her birthday. She does […]

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Why Extend an Au Pair Who Bothers You?

by cv harquail August 18, 2015
taking my picture

What We Think vs. What We Know This FrustratedHM thinks she should extend with her less than so-so Au Pair. But she knows that she doesn’t want to. Why is it that so many times we ask each other for permission to do what we know is the right action? As if someone’s going to […]

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Teach Your Au Pair with Examples of Things Done Wrong– by Other People.

by cv harquail August 14, 2015
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When teaching an Au Pair, it’s better to show than to tell.   Whenever you can, point out when something is being done well or done right by your Au Pair, by your spouse, or by someone else. “I love that this nanny is putting the kids into the car from the curb, and not out […]

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Finding an Au Pair for a Situation That’s Not a Cakewalk

by cv harquail August 13, 2015
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Host Mom Dorsi writes what she claims is a rant… but what we know is simply the reality. It can be hard to get responses from Au Pairs when the situation you’re offering doesn’t look relatively easy.  We are in the early search for a new AP. I have contacted 8 candidates from one agency […]

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Two Kids, One Baby and a New Au Pair: Overload!

by cv harquail August 11, 2015
jereme wong

Where do I start? writes 2K1BabyHM I’ve scoured your site for advice (and found tons!). I’ve made notes of tips and things to discuss with my new AP, but I still have some questions and I wonder if AuPairMom readers can help me out… AP3 has just started – nearly a week ago – but I […]

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