When Having An Au Pair Exposes Cracks in Your Marriage

by cv harquail January 30, 2016
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Getting an Au Pair can expose cracks in your marriage that you haven’t seen before. Getting an Au Pair can also force you to pay attention to dynamics that have been there all along but that you and your spouse have “successfully” avoided before. It’s not the Au Pair herself or himself that “causes” the […]

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Can You Recommend Trustworthy Agencies for US Au Pairs Going Abroad?

by cv harquail January 27, 2016
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Any reader of this blog knows — an Au Pair Agency becomes an important support for a young person coming to the USA. The Agency screens Host Parents, manages all the Au Pair’s training and travel, and is the first place to turn in any kind of relationship, health, or other emergency. What happens, though, […]

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Single Host Mom with UnAppreciative Au Pair: Can This Relationship Be Saved?

by cv harquail January 23, 2016
au pair problems, au pair depressed

Dear Au Pair Mom Readers — I don’t know why I thought I was ready for this!! Friends of my parents have had wonderful experiences with their au pairs and I thought hosting an au pair would allow for my daughter to be at home another year while I returned to school. First, the positive: […]

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Au Pair with Broken Ankle: Battling the Au Pair Agency AND the Insurance Company

by cv harquail January 22, 2016
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A Host Mom needs advice on how to advocate for an Au Pair who needs surgery.  We are a host family to our second au pair midway through her first year. Our current Au Pair is impressively independent and strong. She’s had a run of bad luck since arriving in the US culminating in her […]

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Saying No to an Au Pair Candidate: Ideas for Kind Email?

by cv harquail January 21, 2016
choosing an au pair

MassHM wants your text. Would anyone like to share their “no-go” email? I hate this part and need to have an easier way to get through it. I don’t want to say “You’re not the right au pair for us” or even “No, thank you” in a way that hurts a candidate’s feelings. I’ve found […]

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Should We Extend? Au Pair is Great, but also Boring

by cv harquail January 20, 2016
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I laughed out loud at the subject line of the email that sent this issue to Au Pair Mom. It’s almost — but not quite– a luxury to imagine being bothered by a “boring” Au Pair, if this Au Pair comes on the heels of a “Flameout”, a “Party Girl”, or a “Couch Potato”.  Not […]

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Why Doesn’t the Au Pair Agency Want Us to Help Out Another Au Pair?

by cv harquail January 18, 2016
hole in the heart by elton harding

When Host Families hear about Au Pairs in trouble, we often try to help.   Host Families sometimes get some early, insider information about Au Pair – Host Family relationships that are deteriorating. When the Au Pair in question looks like s/he’s getting a raw deal, it can be tempting to offer to step in and help. […]

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How Best To Celebrate Our Au Pair’s Extension? (Poll)

by cv harquail January 14, 2016
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Dear AuPairMom — We’d love the community’s advice about how to recognize and celebrate our Au Pair’s agreement to extend with us.   I’d like to know what is expected, common, meaningful, etc. Our family with save about $1500 (not to mention loads of time and hassle) because she’s extending for another year. I’d like […]

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Help Your Au Pair Develop Rituals For Bonding With Host Kids

by cv harquail January 12, 2016
au pair, host child, childcare

As I was snuggling my tweenager on the couch after a hard day at school, my mind wandered back to all those times when I’d come home from the University to find this same daughter — infant sized — snuggled up in the rocking chair napping with our Au Pair Margit. All the books I’d […]

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When Parenting Styles Conflict

by cv harquail January 6, 2016
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Au Pairs and Host Children need consistent expectations from Parents in order to do well.   In families where both Host Parents have a similar parenting philosophy, or where one parent takes the “lead” and makes all the parenting decisions, ‘doing a great job’ is easier for Au Pairs. AuPairs need to adapt to only one parenting style, […]

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