When does learning to drive count as “au pair work”?

by cv harquail March 7, 2019

I’m writing with a driving question that I’m hoping you might post to the community. We welcomed our first au pair in mid-January. Her profile indicated 5 years of driving experience, and when we interviewed she indicated that she drives herself to and from work on a 20 minute daily commute, and often drives her […]

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Getting a refund after being ditched by your Extending Au Pair

by cv harquail February 21, 2019

It’s important to plan ahead for the last few weeks that your Au Pair is with you. Not only do you have to prepare your kids, say goodbye, and address all sorts of emotional and relationship issues — you also have to deal with finances. Many au pairs borrow money from their host families, or […]

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Finding a Male Au Pair– Best places to look?

by cv harquail February 20, 2019

I got an email from a young man who’d like to become an au pair in the US, and who is under the impression that families are (1) not that interested in male au pairs and (2) not interested in male au pairs who might or might not be gay. My own perception is that, […]

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Our Local Counselor is Unhelpful: What’s a good recourse?

by cv harquail February 12, 2019
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Dear AuPairMom — I’ve been googling endlessly to try to find some answers to my scenario but I’m at a loss-hoping you can help. Our au pair joined our family in November. We have. 2.5 year old and welcomed twins in december. She has been watching our 2.5 year old and will start watching the […]

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New Host Mom w/ Twins asks: Are my expectations unreasonable?

by cv harquail February 6, 2019

I’m emailing you to ask for advice. I thought I was ready for an au pair, and understood the process, but this has been an awful situation and I need guidance as to whether my expectations are too high or if we just had a poor match. We live in a small city in the […]

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Update on the Au Pair Lawsuit — what’s next?

by cv harquail January 10, 2019
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I could hardly sleep last night after reading the Wall Street Journal’s article about the recently proposed settlement of the lawsuit against Au Pair Agencies. The agencies will be paying out around 65 million dollars to au pairs who sign up online at a site created by the law firm pursuing the suit. As many […]

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When domestic travel is a part of the normal family rhythm how do you set yourself up for success?

by Texas HM November 20, 2018
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While working on an updated bropair post (still to come – email me if you host bropairs and don’t mind answering a few questions!) I got this email from a proactive host dad with an interesting scenario.  It is clear he has spent a lot of time thinking about how to set his family and […]

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Does a candidate’s childcare or work experience really matter?

by Texas HM October 24, 2018
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I fully realize this flies in the face of parental logic/intuition and I regularly get a shocked expression when I tell other host parents that I don’t factor childcare experience AT ALL into my au pair interviewing/selection process. Keeping in mind our au pairs’ favorite joke is that it’s easier to get into the CIA […]

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Are oldest children better au pairs? Does an au pair’s family dynamics determine success?

by Texas HM October 16, 2018
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On the last post a couple of folks commented that they would “never pick an only child” AP again. After a painful transition I myself recall saying that I was “never going to pick a youngest child again” – for many of the same reasons those people attributed to only children so it got me thinking – does […]

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Your Bra is Showing and My Kids Shirt is on Backwards – Giving APs Candid Feedback

by Texas HM September 11, 2018

I was chatting with fellow long time host mom/LCC/AP Mom regular Julie Dye this week and when she quoted her college professor R Wayne Boss at the University of Colorado – Boulder and it prompted me to shout “Amen” on the spot and ask if I could share/write a post about it! He says this: “Never […]

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