Departure Gift Ideas– For Not-So-Great Au Pair

by cv harquail October 15, 2013
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“We only have to endure our au pair for 6 more weeks!”, writes a Host mom.” Yes, endure. Very long story, but we have had a mediocre au pair for the past 10 + months. She only wants to party, lies consistently, does not respect curfew, treats our children like potato sacks, and I have […]

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When a Host Parent Is Diagnosed With Asbergers, How Does This Reshape The Au Pair Relationship?

by cv harquail October 13, 2013
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We’ve had some wonderfully honest, thoughtful and insightful conversations here on Au Pair Mom about how to manage relationship dynamics with Au Pairs who have emotional challenges or histories,  and children who have cognitive or developmental ‘special needs’ — chronic cognitive or relational challenges that families need to support. But we haven’t even talked about […]

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Quick Tip: How to find great stuff on AuPairMom

by cv harquail October 12, 2013
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For newbies, oldbies, and the generally curious…. Here’s a page of Tips for Finding Great Stuff on AuPairMom. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.   Image: Rabbit Hole,  Some rights reserved by wayneandwax

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Can’t seem to fill the Au Pair Educational Requirement. What to do?

by cv harquail October 10, 2013
hit the books

Help! We are having a serious issue with the educational component for our au pair. Dear AuPairMom– Our au pair came to us in early January of last year, too late to start classes for the semester. We had planned to get her registered in the summer, but my military duty unexpectedly took me away […]

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My Au Pair Application Isn’t Completely True. What should I do?

by cv harquail October 8, 2013
truth lies

We host parents absolutely depend on an au pair’s application to get an accurate and complete representation of that au pair’s background.   Part of the reason why we use Au Pair Agencies rather than websites or Craig’s List is to have a professional (usually, a field person hired by an Agency) interview the au […]

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Is it a Personality Thing, or a Training Thing, or Some Other Thing?

by cv harquail October 6, 2013
baby tears

Even when we don’t have enough information about the ‘real’ problem between a host parent and an au pair, the action steps are the same: 1. Check your expectations, 2. Talk with each other candidly, and 3. Give each other a chance to change. Here’s an email from a host mom having trouble: Dear Au Pair Mom Readers, […]

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Personal Time: Do Host Parents take it personally when Au Pairs retreat to their rooms?

by cv harquail September 16, 2013
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It can be so easy to misinterpret behaviors — and to take offense where none is intended. Tone of voice, awkward choice of words, different cultural norms, and even the specifics of the ‘moment’ influence the meaning we extract from someone’s behavior. Wait, make that “the meaning we think we extract from someone’s behavior”. Even […]

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Is There a Sensible Way Around “Infant Care” Restrictions?

by cv harquail September 14, 2013
kitten

This question is a great one for Local Counselors to answer– have you had experience with this issue? Dear Au Pair Moms  ~~   We have found a prospective au pair who is just great and seem like she would fit perfectly into our family. She has been in the USA with another family and […]

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Dead End: When you need an Au Pair to drive, but your Au Pair can’t

by cv harquail August 31, 2013
dead end

When you read the email, below, you’ll think the challenge is about the au pair not being able to drive. And not being able to learn. And really needing an au pair who can drive. And deciding to drive her back and forth to her evening class. And more. Really? If the problem really were […]

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Keeping Up With Changing Times… or not?

by cv harquail August 26, 2013
brownie

A long time contributor to AuPairMom sent us a fascinating challenge: How should Host Parents respond to their Au Pair’s interest in trying pot, now that it’s actually legal in their state? I must say, this is a host parenting challenge that never occurred to me– and it’s intriguing. On the one hand– it’s legal. […]

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