How Long Must We House Our Au Pair Once Her Contract Ends?

by cv harquail July 29, 2017
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Dear AuPairMoms — We have an au pair who is done with her year.  She decided she wanted to do another year, but not with us.  (redacted/ edited at request of OP, on Aug 4) She found a match, but the new family doesn’t want her to arrive immediately after her contract with us ends.  So, […]

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Different Defaults for Deciding When an Au Pair is “Part of the Family”

by cv harquail July 27, 2017
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Who decides, and how do you decide, when an Au Pair should be included in (off duty) family events? Nearly all of the time, my default has been to invite the au pair, unless its a private event (e.g., friend’s kid’s birthday) or a boring-to-an-au pair event (e.g., company picnic where family is invited). As […]

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Step-By-Step Guide to Au Pair Matching, by TexasHostMom (update)

by cv harquail July 24, 2017
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TexasHost Mom’s post, sharing her step-by-step process for contacting Au Pair Candidates, is one of our most read (and most appreciated) posts on AuPairMom. We love her clarity, and not just because sometimes we really just want to execute a good routine rather than obsess about what to do next. Long time readers know that […]

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Religious Au Pair Doesn’t Celebrate Holidays. Would you still consider her?

by cv harquail July 22, 2017
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Celebrating American holidays with your au pair or host family is one of the biggest (and most fun) elements of cultural exchange. Holidays are a unique window into culture. The traditions, the food, the festive spirit all invite us to talk about the values behind the celebration. On the more personal, less ‘cultural’ level, holidays […]

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Our Au Pair Generously Let Her Boyfriend Drive Our Car — Now what?

by cv harquail July 19, 2017
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Generosity in a host parent – au pair relationship is critical. Our inclination to give, to forgive, to cut someone else a break, is what creates important flexibility in a relationship.  That’s why we say strong relationships always have a little ‘give’. One of the biggest questions for Host Parents and Au Pairs alike is how […]

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How Should an Au Pair Explain Visible Scars to Host Kids?

by cv harquail July 8, 2017
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Each of us bears scars from life events that have challenged us. Some of these scars are hidden, and allow us to keep their origins private.  Other scars are in plain sight, and their visibility raises the possibility that at some point, we won’t be able to keep their origins to ourselves. I have a […]

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Finding an Infant Qualified Au Pair Who Can Manage Twins

by cv harquail July 5, 2017
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NowWeAreThree HostMom thought she had the whole family ready for twins, with her mom coming to stay for an entire year to help with childcare (what a mom!).  Sadly, her father got unexpectedly sick, so her mom can no longer come. This mom’s got to find a new childcare plan. What questions would you ask, and what […]

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Explaining “America” to Your Au Pair

by cv harquail June 30, 2017
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4th of July is one of my favorite holidays… all about family, community and abstract patriotic notions. 4th of July is also the holiday when I am most likely to embarrass my children– apparently, as they get older, it is no longer cool to have a mom who dresses up in red, white & blue […]

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Mom of Au Pair Asks: How Can I Offer Support from Afar?

by cv harquail June 27, 2017
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For the first time ever, we’ve heard from the mom of a brand new Au Pair.   Her daughter is running into problems with her Host Family, and the au pair’s Mom wants to know– how can she help? I’ve wanted to ignore the possibility that an pair’s parents would be offering her real-time advice on […]

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Help A Brand-New Au Pair Get Better At Her Job

by cv harquail June 24, 2017
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It’s not easy to settle in, whether you’re the new Au Pair or the First Time Host Mom. The American college student who sent this email hasn’t had the benefit of a formal Au Pair orientation, and I suspect that her host mom hasn’t had the benefit of a local counselor or group of moms […]

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