Alas, One Au Pair Can’t Cover Your “40 Hour” Work Week

by cv harquail September 5, 2016
au pair advice, au pair problems

It’s a horrible reality:  Even if you have your au pair work a full 45 hours a week, if you work 40 hours a week yourself, your au pair is not going to be able to cover all your childcare needs. Every one of us full time working parents knows– that job is supposedly “40 […]

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6 Things To Know When You Email AuPairMom for Advice

by cv harquail September 4, 2016

Folks, I’m reposting this to keep everyone up to date. This is the very same information available under the tab “When you email for advice”. Here are some things you should know when you send an email for advice: 1. I may take your email text, in part or in full, to use within a […]

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Awkward: My Au Pair Seems To Be Dating My StepSon

by cv harquail September 2, 2016
au pair problems, au pair advice

It’s not “wrong”, necessarily. But it sure is awkward. This Host Mom’s 22 year old au pair seems to be “dating” the 20 year old step son. It’s awkward not just because the Host Mom’s pretty sure they’re intimate, but also because their relationship messes with the idea of the au pair being “part of […]

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When a Host Family Doesn’t Keep Their Word, Get Ready To Rematch

by cv harquail September 1, 2016
au pair problems, au pair advice, choosing an au pair

When Au Pairs or Host Families have unique situations, it’s smart to negotiate ahead of time to be very, very, clear about what you need. Being specific about scheduled hours, transportation, unique food/nutrition needs, kid care tasks, and so on helps both parties make sure that they are finding the right match. This MastersStudentAuPair (whose […]

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Should An Au Pair’s Unpredictable Moods Send Us To Rematch?

by cv harquail August 31, 2016
angry au pair, au pair advice

Having an Au Pair join your family is always emotionally challenging.   Even with the best and most lovely au pairs, it takes effort to get in sync with each other. We not only have to mesh with each other’s ways of doing things, sharing work, managing cars, and caring for kids, but also Host […]

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Is An Au Pair Right For Your Family? Not if you need a Housekeeper …

by cv harquail August 22, 2016
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When people ask me whether an Au Pair might be right for them, I sometimes forget to ask them what kinds of help they *already* have, that they are aiming to replace. If a family currently uses a childcare center or a home-based center, then switching to an Au Pair offers more schedule flexibility, care […]

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Brand New Au Pair’s Extreme Homesickness — Can we turn it around?

by cv harquail August 16, 2016
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It seems like this brand new host mom did everything right (or, rather, took all of our recommendations) for getting started with an Au Pair. Careful consideration, lots of advance learning, deep interviewing, a handbook (!), and lots of positive energy. Even after their new Au Pair arrived and presented the challenge of extreme homesick, […]

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Au Pair Tech Update: Sharing SmartPhone Accounts & Apps while Staying Secure

by cv harquail August 14, 2016
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You know that whole argument that you should make sure both parents know how to diaper, feed, and soothe a baby, so that no one parent gets “stuck” with all the hardest work because the other parent quietly “deskilled” him/herself? I paid attention to that advice with my kids, and contradicted it with our phones, […]

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“Matching With” Versus “Selecting” an Au Pair: What’s your perspective?

by cv harquail August 12, 2016
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Writing about the AuPair interviewing process, I’m getting a little philosophical. I just wrote this section (below) about the difference between “selecting” and “Matching with” an Au Pair.  Am I crazy? Do you make these sorts of distinctions? Is this how you frame the process yourself? What am I missing?  I’d love your ideas. “Matching […]

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Au Pair Drinking Wine While On Duty: Okay or Ixnay? (Poll)

by cv harquail August 9, 2016
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Dear Au Pair Mom — I have been an avid reader of your blog for awhile now and absolutely love the invaluable information and tips I have learned from it. I’m not entirely sure this is an issue but I think it has the potential to become one so I guess I’m just putting some […]

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