It’s not you, it’s her. Let her go, move on.

by cv harquail June 5, 2009
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Hi AuPair Mom and other other host moms (and dads), Our situation is confounding us! Please help us understand… We have had an absolutely bright, lovely, and energetic 20-year-old Swedish au pair for two months. We had a great first month with her and couldn’t imagine getting along better with anyone! We had a great […]

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A Little Something for/about Host Dads…

by cv harquail June 3, 2009
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Okay Host Dads, it being June and all, here’s a little info treat about– you guessed it– being a dad. Maybe the rest of us moms need to read it too so that we can be more sympathetic. ;-) The Daddy Brain Moms aren’t the only ones whose bodies change after having a baby. Jeremy […]

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Changing Visa status… should you get involved?

by cv harquail June 3, 2009
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Here’s an issue I know absolutely nothing about– whether or not to help an au pair change her visa status. Here’s our host mom’s question: I am a first-time Host parent with a second year Au Pair. She has been with us for 8 months and has decided that she’d like to change her Visa […]

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Starting out on the right foot, when you’re on maternity leave

by cv harquail June 2, 2009
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We’ve talked a bit about how to start out with an au pair, and it seems that in general, we think that the best strategy is to get her working right away. This helps your au pair feel needed, distracts her from homesickenss, helps with training, and ramps all of the family up fairly quickly. […]

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Learning about the “Education Requirement”

by cv harquail June 1, 2009
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The education requirement for au pairs on one of those features of the program that can be misleading, both for families and for au pairs themselves. My sense is that the US, the agencies and the LCCs all know that meeting the requirements with ‘only’ $500 tuition credit is almost impossible. And, they rely on […]

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All real, all the time

by cv harquail May 26, 2009
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A regular reader and commenter sent me an email this morning asking whether the story posted with the poll is real, or whether I made it up. Dear readers, may I just say, you can’t make this s%*# up. I am as surprised as you are at what people are willing to put up with, […]

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Rematch? You vote yes or no….

by cv harquail May 25, 2009
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When I saw this comment pop up earlier tonight, it reminded me of the story that we just discussed… so many similar issues. So I have an idea– let’s take a vote on whether or not this mom should insist on a rematch. Then, let’s give this mom some ideas about what to tell her […]

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What’s the cure for “Summer Fever”?

by cv harquail May 22, 2009
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When seasons change, so do family schedules. When family schedules change, so do au pair schedules. And when au pair schedules change, sometimes you uncover a problem. For my family, there is a big difference between winter and summer. In the summer, we spend weekends and even some full weeks at my dad’s house at […]

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Au Pair Advice: Can we get her to speak the right language with the kids?

by cv harquail May 21, 2009
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Sing me Spanish techno? This just in from Madrid!!  A host mom with a different kind of language challenge! Just about every host family- au pair relationship I know of feels some kind of communication challenge… and these are always exacerbated when the host family and au pair grew up speaking different languages.  But this […]

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Follow Up: Rude Comments about Au Pairs– How to respond

by cv harquail May 19, 2009
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I was thinking again about our conversation around "Myths about au pairs: Au Pair = "Hottie" , and ideas about how to respond when people make rude comments to us host parents about au pairs. One au pair commented that she was concerned that If people make these sorts of comments in your au pair’s […]

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