I’ve always thought it was a wonderful perk for an au pair, to have a gym membership and to be able to go during the day when she was normally on duty but was able to leave the kids at the gym’s childcare. Several of my own Au Pairs had this option — I was happy to pay additional $$ for the gym childcare for my girls even though I could have counted it as on duty hours, because my girls actually thought of it as kind of a treat. (Different toys, other kids, etc.)
The challenge this Host Mom and future Au Pair are facing hinges on a technicality — a technicality that has never been made explicit by an Au Pair Agency as far as I know*. (*I could be wrong, and if I am let’s get the facts!)
When you schedule an au pair to be on-duty, off-duty, and then on duty again, the amount of time s/he is “off duty” needs to be a “meaningful break”. This is a concept that I came with many years ago to answer the question of what’s important to consider when scheduling an au pair for two on-duty sessions in one day.
See this post for details: Scheduling Your Au Pair: Naptime, Mealtime and Meaningful Breaks
See also this post on Scheduling Your Au Pair: The Minimum Length of a Work Shift
And this one on The Au Pair Scheduling Constraint That Might Surprise You
The challenge is to define what’s “meaningful” to an au pair, and also to make sure that neither the Host Family nor the Au Pair takes advantage of their joint definition of “meaningful break” to craft a swiss-cheesey schedule that leaves the Au Pair with no time to relax over the course of her/his waking day.
Here are the deets of this dilemma:
We currently have a live in nanny, who is leaving to go to school full time, so we are transitioning to an au pair through Cultural Care in early May. Our current nanny and I are the 2 adults on our YMCA membership. She takes my kids (5, 4, and 1) to childcare there and works out for an hour 3 times a week. We don’t count the hour she is working out and the kids are in child care as work time, but do count all the transportation/check-in/out of child care time as work time.
She enjoys the mid-day break it provides her and the exercise she wouldn’t get otherwise. Our boys enjoy playing with friends there.
We selected our inbound au pair in part because she currently goes to the gym 1-2 hours a day, and we discussed our situation that would allow her workout time to break her day up, and she’s very excited about that. The proposed schedule would be work from 8-6 M-F, with 1.5 hour break to work out each day (9:30-11, most likely), which adds to 42.5, and would allow for one evening/week of 2.5 hours.
But, we have a friend who just started with cultural care, and apparently our local coordinator said hours at the gym with kids in childcare have to count as work hours. This really messes up our plans, and I know our inbound au pair won’t be happy with it either. If she can’t use childcare at the gym, we’ll need to add my husband as the other adult on the membership so that at least we can go together on the weekends.
So, my question is … is there any flexibility here?
If au pair is happy with this arrangement does it really have to count as a work hour??
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I am curious to read any official agency policies on this for sure! But in the meantime, I do have one point that makes me lean more toward counting it as hours worked. Although the children are in the gym’s daycare, the au pair is still ultimately the responsible adult during that time. If a child were to get sick, hurt, or otherwise require immediate attention, the daycare workers at the gym wouldn’t call the parents to come and assist – they would go interrupt the au pair’s workout time. So I don’t know that it truly would count as ‘off-time.’
First – I was so happy to see this notification this morning!
To answer the question, I think this is one of those things that will be fine as long as things are going well, but would be ammunition the au pair could use against you in a rematch situation. Even if the au pair says pre-arrival or shortly after arrival that it’s fine, she might change her mind later and use the fact that you “worked her too many hours” as her reason for rematch.
Personally, for our family, if letting the au pair use the gym and the kids play at the gym childcare is important (and my kids loved these kind of activities to break up their week and so did the au pair), we’d schedule it as actual work time and stagger our schedules to keep each day to 9 hours (something we did for many years because we needed 45 hours each week.
Particularly being new to the program with an LCC you already know will consider the gym to be work hours. As WCO HD pointed out, the AP will be the adult in charge during that time. A rule of thumb someone posted in the past was – is the AP truly free to ignore calls for help during that “break” time? If you expect her to answer, it’s not a true break.
Agreed. If an AP is on call, then it is work time.
In my opinion, it is only a break if you are fine with the au pair walking out the gym doors and doing whatever she likes for that time and then coming back to pick up the kids. If you want her to stay in the gym, then it isn’t a break.
We consider 3 hours a “meaningful break”. 2 hours would be a “meaningful break” if the AP had something scheduled, like a class or daily Skype calls home, during that time. But I agree with NoVA mom that “on call” time should be scheduled hours.
I wanted to weigh-in on this because we’ve recently had the discussion with CC about what is a “meaningful break.” To be honest, you may get a differing answer on who you ask at the agency and every agency has their own interpretation.
However, I was advised their guideline that it must be at least 2.5 hours to consider it an actual break from work. So, if you’re doing a split shift, you must consider that amount of break before they can work again.
That said, the AuPair has the freedom to go to the gym on her own personal time. She’s electing to do it on your time, and at your expense (additional childcare). It could be argued that this isn’t truly work time because she’s electing to go for her own personal gain. The children are in the care of a third party and they can easily contact you as they would her in the event of an emergency. When my kiddos are in school, just because my AuPair is on the emergency call list doesn’t mean she’s working, even though she’s usually at home closer to their school than I am.
If you and your AuPair are in agreement that those hours don’t count toward work hours, and she wants to use time during her work day to go to the gym, then I say go ahead and go for it. Going to the gym is a personal and “meaningful break” that is only benefiting her. Also GET IT IN WRITING that it’s your agreement!
I have an in-bound AuPair orientation/checklist I go through with our AuPair about the expectations, guidelines, rules, etc. of our house and the car (that sounds harsh but it’s really not), and we go through every line together and I have them initial each line. It has saved us SO MANY TIMES when our AuPairs start the “but you never said I had to… or the rule was…” That would be a great place to put something like that! Best of luck to the OP!
@PacNWHostMom – is your orientation checklist something you can share? It might be a matter of taking my handbook and distilling the “rules” into a checklist, but I’d love to see an example. Thanks!
Yes, I’m happy to share that.
I basically did exactly as you mentioned. I took the key points from our host family handbook and made a separate sheet of paper with the topics and a one-liner summary of the “rule” or expectation, and a place to initial.
As we go through each section of our handbook, I have them initial that we just discussed that section.
We each get a copy and I leave a copy of the handbook and signature page in a binder with the AuPair.
It’s amazing how beneficial this has been. I wish I would have started from our very first AuPair!
The other thing I wanted to add, and it sort of goes back to the original question, is that I make sure, that our agency profile letter/desctription etc. and any conversations I have about expectations (laundry, meals, car rules, gas, etc.) are ALWAYS communicated in writing PRIOR to matching. Sorry for the caps, but it’s imperative. This is also something that has helped us have successful matches and avoid misunderstandings or AuPairs that agree to something and then later decide they want to use it as ammo (one tried, and failed).
Skype is great, but you can’t prove anything was discussed. I lay it all out in our profile (as one other HM put it, the “dare to match with me” approach, which I adopted) and then I reiterate everything in writing either WhatsApp or email, or at the very least a voice message I can recall and their response. That way, there are many records of what was discussed and the expectations and our mutual agreements prior to matching and the checklist/initialed page after. It’s a way to reinforce the rules and expectations, create a record, and ensure we’re all on the same page. :)
I would love your orientation checklist as I’m so new to this and could do with the insight.
It’s work time. Your AP is not free to do as she pleases. Gym daycares almost all require an adult to stay on site. If you AP wants to skip a workout, she is not free to go do anything else. That to me makes it work time, though a nice perk!
Yeap, what if she doesn’t feel like going to the gym? What happens? Does she take the kids to the gym for some play time anyway? Does she finish her day earlier cause she did have her hour off???
Is AP is able to drop the kids off at the gym daycare and leave to do whatever she wants? Will the gym daycare notify the HM if there is an emergency with the kids?
Is the AP “on-call”? Who is considered the responsible adult between 9:30-11 am and required to respond if something happens to the kids? If AP is the responsible and responding adult, then it is work time because AP doesn’t really have unfettered freedom to do what she pleases.
I have to chime in because In part some of this just seems odd. . On my job in the medical field I get ONE 15 minute break and a 30 minute break for lunch which I AM NOT PAID for. So to say an hour isn’t enough “ me time “ is ridiculous b/c in the adult world wouldn’t we all love an hour of “ me time” I rarely every get that . Yes if a kid gets sick then you have to count the hours but if she isn’t trying to run in a treadmill with s kid strapped to her then for the most part it’s some free time. We all know things go awry with kids . I schedule my Aupair off kid gets sick and she has to cx plans and pick up . Then I have to adjust hours it’s life sometimes. If it works for you and it works for her I would just plan it that way if a kid gets sick then make adjustments in schedule for that really in those moments we can make adjustments and a good Aupair will be understanding. Just my two cents
I have to agree with this.
Maybe discussing it this way: We are planning on paying for the gym membership and allowing you to spend 1.5 hrs to workout every day. In exchange for this we need to count that as time-off duty. If this is acceptable to both parties GREAT. If this is not acceptable then OK, the family will not be paying for the gym membership and the Au Pair will need to use her evening time to workout….
My Au Pair has a 3.5 hr break in the morning, but last night day care called and said that they were going to be closed. Au Pair will not have that 3.5 hrs today. We will make it up somewhere else though, so not a big deal for either of us when I passed on the information.
To above if I’m at work and kids in school and a kid gets sick she is the responsible adult for phone call and pickup that doesn’t mean she is on work hours everyday , a sick kid picky is a rare occurrence. It’s part of the job she is free most everyday in school hours but if a kid gets sick she has to pickup and then it’s scheduled hours and we make schedule adjustment . This is a pretty easy understood concept in my mind
Hello Everyone –
I have been an LCC (Local Childcare Consultant) with Cultural Care Au Pair for 10-years. The generally accepted understanding with the au pair’s work hours comes down to whether or not the au pair may leave the home or facility. If the au pair cannot leave the gym, then it is to be considered work hours. If the au pair cannot leave the gym and go meet with a friend at another location the time is to be counted as working hours. The same is true for when the children are sleeping. If an au pair cannot physically leave the home, these hours are considered work hours. I hope this clarifies things. 8)
If that’s the case, then I’d make the AP pay the fee for the worker at the gym. Because there is no way I’d pay for redundant child care.
Our AP always had gym membership privileges we paid for and was allowed to take the kids with her to work out. (I remember when that comment became a whole post…) Typically, they would be there before or after swim lessons or open gym time. She was both on duty (as required by the site’s policy on a person being there and responsible for any issues) and required to pay the sitting fee (~$3/hr per child) since she was able to work out on her own time outside her work hours.
Since OPs AP is likely not free to leave the gym, she is still on duty. I’m not sure what the OPs agency policy on this is but it would be prudent to have the conversation with the LCC ahead of time to make sure so that if things don’t work out, this doesn’t become an issue used against them.
$3/hr per child? What a bargain! Where do you live? Which gym is this?
We are in CT. It’s a community center gym with hefty annual membership dues and that’s the member rate.
She is working, as she can’t just decide to leave the kids in the gym and meet a friend. I think DMMom’s idea is a good one, as it lets the au pair make the decision with the pros and cons that her decision brings. Jennc, it may well be the case that you don’t get an hour for your break, but being an au pair isn’t supposed to be full-on like being a professional. Au pairs get pocket money rather than high salaries and pensions, with the trade-off being that they have plenty of time to enjoy themselves in their new country.
I wish pensions were the norm in America, but they are not the norm here. The “pocket money” is also offset by room and board being included in the program.
Plenty of jobs in the US that are not “full on like being a professional” only get the amount of time outlined by JennC. At the same time, it isn’t possible to provide an au Pair with 2 15-min breaks and a 30min lunch because, well, logistics.
As a new HF I do find it a bit disheartening that unless the AP has a block > 2.5 hours off during the day it’s still considered work. So if I took the kids to the doctor and other errands for 2 hours during the day while she shopped and had coffee with friends, I would be paying for that time? That part is a bit difficult to stomach.
I the past, I have had the nanny meet me at the gym or check the kids into the childcare during my workout.
In addition to the fact that CCAP would technically count this as work, it doesn’t seem like a solid plan for someone who needs 50 hours of care a week.Kids can’t go to the gym daycare if their sick, they can be sent out for any number of reasons, and AP might want to skip a workout now and then. You might think about getting a half day babysitter one day or having you or dh shift your schedule to get home earlier.
I understand the temptation of this arrangement, but I think it may well end in tears.
You are paying for her gym membership (which is very generous) and making time for her to work out during the day which seems like a real win-win situation, but it is really hard to argue that the AP is not responsible for the kids while she is in the gym since she will be the one who they come to get when anything goes wrong with the kids.
Putting agency policies aside (if you dare, and which is highly inadvisable) there are really just too many things that can go wrong. Kids go through difficult phases where they act out, the novelty of the gym childcare wears off, they get sick, and all it takes is one out of three to be sick/throwing a tantrum etc. before AP has to work caring for them all rather than enjoying the workout she feels entitled to (and which you “promised” her) and before you know it there is all kinds of resentment. Best case scenario, you AP rolls with the punches and accepts that this is life and the reality of childcare. Worst case scenario… we won’t get into that, but it can get ugly.
Of course when you are newly matching with an AP it is all rosy and smiles and agreement and “won’t it be awesome!” and it’s hard to imagine that this wonderful budding relationship could ever sour, but speaking as a HM heading into her 12th year hosting believe me, it can. Just because an AP agrees to something before matching does not mean that they will not start complaining about it later. (My current AP is in his 2nd year with us and has actually stopped hanging out with most of the other APs because he is so sick of hearing them endlessly complain about their jobs, jobs the agreed to do.) If your agreements/arrangements are reasonable and within agency guidelines (and ideally in writing), the agency will back you up, and the AP will not have much of a case; but the minute you break the rules you will not have a leg to stand on and the agency will not back you up.
You are cutting it very close with the hours, you really only have room for one day per week where the gym arrangement can not work out before you go above 45h/week or have to come home early. Are you prepared for this? What will you do when one or another viral illness hits and one kid after the other gets sick? Are you able to take time off from work? For many years we needed all our APs hours (and more – so kids were also in daycare) so I can empathize with your situation. Just realize that your plan is a gamble, and if you decide to go through with it be sure you have a back-up plan.
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