I find global events and the repercussions of such fascinating. Y’all can debate in the comments whether that’s some milder version of Schadenfreude as my German AP taught me or if I should have just double majored in psychology and economics and missed my calling in college.
I am curious though – especially in our current times the reality can often be very different than the headlines! I would love to know how this virus is affecting you, your APs and communities to seek understanding and see how we can best help/support each other in this unique program.
Host families – Has your family been impacted by the COVID-19 virus? If so, how? Are you changing your travel plans/daily routine? Are you asking your AP to do so as well? Are you encountering any issues?
If you are an AP, are you concerned about getting the virus? Are you worried about getting stuck in the US if there are travel restrictions to your home country? Are you modifying your travel plans/bucket list because of the virus? What impact is the virus having on you, your host families and your families back home?
* Schadenfreude – the experience of pleasure, joy or self satisfaction that comes from learning or witnessing the troubles, failures or humiliation of another.
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Great post!
We are canceling travel plans per our physician in three weeks in addition, our physician has asked our Au pair to self quarantine for 14 days after arriving from international travel.
As a working mom –
We kept our spring break travel plans this week (Florida) and no cases were known of in our greater metro area in Texas until a day or two ago. Local major university announced today that they were going virtual. My work HQ is in Seattle and an employee there was one of the first non travel related cases so our HQ building was shut down last Monday for cleaning and investigation which led to cancellation (now virtual) of our customer conference next week in Orlando, my new hire training in April and all employees being told no non essential business travel is permitted. I got an email today that my executives would no longer be doing essential travel either but instead would meet with customers and prospects virtually. I work in enterprise sales so am watching customers scale back meetings and implement remote working scenarios for employees so I’m curious to see if now that cases are in our city if people will start refusing to meet in person.
Based on emails our school district has been sending it seems they are getting pressure to close but again, we’ve had no cases in our area but will be interesting to see when everyone returns from spring break what happens. All teachers and substitutes are required to fill out a travel disclosure about where they went on spring break and anyone that traveled somewhere they are concerned about will get a 14 day paid quarantine order.
As a hostmom-
My current AP has a weekend travel course the first weekend in April in Chicago that’s UCLA extension and UCLA has gone virtual so they are trying to figure out if they will have that travel course and will make a decision by Monday.
Our next AP is supposed to arrive from Mexico the first week of June and Cultural Care is now doing remote orientation for incoming APs starting in April until TBD where APs will watch instruction from home and then travel directly to host families.
Our APs mom is supposed to visit from Australia in mid April, I’m wondering if that will be impacted. My AP1 is nearby and 9 months pregnant with her third and very worried.
As an LCC-
Arrivals from China stopped quite some time ago and Italian arrivals were delayed and I wouldn’t be surprised if they also are stopped. LCCs have been granted the ability to do remote contacts if requested/needed due to the virus/concerns and I’m now wondering if my March meeting at my house next Friday is a good idea.
On the flip flights are stupid cheap so if school closes (and kids competitive sports take a haitus) I’ve notified my family we are taking the first flight to Costa Rica or somewhere awesome to ride out the quarantine on the beach working and schooling remotely! And in the next couple of weeks I might book a cruise for Christmas or next summer…
The big question is going to be – what if your au pair wants to do something (travel or go to a crowded event) and you don’t want them to? Do we as HPs have the authority to forbid it? And if so, how much is that going to damage the relationship we’re trying to maintain with this person who is living with us and caring for our children?
My au pair has already said “I don’t worry about stuff like this” as most young people who think they are invincible are probably saying right now. And in this case, she’s not wrong – the virus is unlikely to be a big deal for her. Fortunately this is true for us too, our family is all young healthy people and we’ll just stay away from higher-risk relatives until this blows over. Still, we want to be good citizens and “flatten the curve” as we are being told to do. As of now, she doesn’t have any big travel plans and all the major events (sports and such) around here have been canceled so I’m hoping we won’t have any major issues.
Curious to hear how host families who have kids or other household members who are at higher risk are handling things.
My au pair and others in our cluster were considering booking travel since “everything is so cheap.” As of this morning, I have pulled my kids from school so I need her to be home during the weekdays now. I will be meeting with my boss to request that my staff and I be allowed/set up to work from home ASAP.
As of this morning, my au pair has elected not to go on the trip being planned as she is at the end of her year and needs to save money for her travel month which begins in May. Hopefully, the situation will have improved by then but she is from Denmark and will probably be quarantined when she gets home as we already have a case here. We have been au-pairing for ten years and she will be our last as our kids are now 12, 14, and 16 (driving independently soon). Such a bummer of a way to end an era…
Living east of Seattle, both mine and my wife’s employers basically enforced virtual work where possible a week ago (and it is, so we are home for the duration). King, Snohomish and Pierce county (more than half the population of WA) school districts are prepping for closure this week (some isolated school districts have already closed (Seattle being one).
Our au pair was going to see Sister Act next week and Chicago in three weeks – all canceled. She was going to San Diego for an au pair class next week – now rescheduled to May, but slim chance that happens, I’m guessing. I heard they are considering how to close it out virtually.
Basically, ride it out as best we can.
Our au pair is disappointed but she gets the scale and scope of this thing. It doesn’t really matter where they’re from, they’d be affected at home too.
My office is on mandatory telework as of this week, and my child’s school is making preparations for online education. Our pair was going to make plans to travel to an event in Texas in June, but I suggested he hold off on buying his flight, since there’s no telling whether it will be canceled. It’s shocking how quickly things are changing.
Locally, spring break is next week. We had planned to do a staycation and take in local museums, etc (there are lots), but now that’s discouraged. I feel bad that my child’s and au pair’s fun time is ruined, but I’m taking our own health and the public’s health very seriously (especially because my child has mild asthma). Au pair is taking it all in stride…He’s a good egg!
How are people responding to au pairs’ requests to spend time with friends?
We live in Seattle and have been strict with social distancing. Our au pair has been amazing, taking this very seriously. We have asked him not to go out (walks or hikes are fine, but not go to parties, etc) and he’s been very supportive. If I had an au pair that did not comply I would initiate a rematch. This is a global threat and if they aren’t mature enough to do their part then they have no place in our family. I am worried about our au pair population in general. if they get sick how good is their insurance should they require hospitalization? It is likely they would not have much support to navigate our health system (we would not be able to accompany them to a doctors appt for example). Plus they would put the rest of the family at risk. Is the au pair who wants to go out going to step in and watch the kids if my husband and I are ill? Don’t think so. There will likely be more travel restrictions and I’d also worry about my au pair taking vacation now and getting stuck somewhere.
I have to revisit the response I gave earlier. My au pair seemed to get it, but I don’t think he fully does. In our home, we are distancing, but not fully quarantining ourselves. What that means (to me) seems to change by the hour, and there’s a constant struggle to balance personal and public health against the social and emotional torment isolation. For example, I still allow my child to play with a couple of friends outside, and I was okay with our au pair going to another au pair’s home for a small gathering. However, today, he and some friends headed into the city to hang out, and he wants to go out again tonight. I feel very conflicted— I’ve given him a bunch of caveats, such as not going places where more than 25 people are present, no hugging (the au pairs here are all big huggers), keep a distance of 6 ft, wash, wash, wash, etc., but I can’t tell if he really understands how serious the situation is. I also don’t know if that amount of contact is too much to allow. Or, if I’m being too strict. It concerns me that the other au pairs seem to not be concerned about social distancing AT ALL. (For example, some friends were disappointed when he told them he would not go out dancing at a club). So, I worry that they may be risky to be around even in small groups. Meanwhile, my son is extremely unhappy now that he’s realizing that not only is his spring break ruined, but this extra time school is shut down is not going to be the fun time he thought it would be. Sorry to be so rambling… the long and short of it is, it’s really a hard time for everyone!
Au Pair Care has canceled new au pair arrivals for 2 months. Are any families impacted by this policy? How are you planning to handle it?
Our aupair wants to go home, which would basically mean in the middle of the work from home madness, we have no childcare at all. I don’t see how it will be different at home (we are in New York and she is in Europe) since social distancing is also required there, but I guess they are uncomfortable here and think the air is contagious or whatever (but still go out every night). I’m pretty upset by this situation and think this will be our last rodeo with an au pair if we have this one walk out on us.
Unfortunately she might get stuck at an airport or have to quarantine for 14 days if she goes home. Mine seems to understand she is better of here than in her home country but she talks a lot to her family about what is happening and she is asking me a lot of questions. I think the agencies could be doing a better job addressing concerns and helping the au pairs understand what is happening. I have been very disappointed with the lack of transparency and complete break down in communication from some of the agencies.
Yep, she doesn’t seem to care. Wants to go home and be with family, and has no intention of quarantining when she arrives.
Germanmom,
We are going through the exact same thing. One day into shelter in place our au pair asked to go home to be with family in Europe, and three days after that, the au pair is on the plane. Very disappointing experience for our family as we often go above and beyond to ensure our au pairs have a good year with us.
Hi I am Trying to help my AuPair find an online program for her credits.
ny suggestions?
My what a difference a week/day makes! Like others on here I need to update my previous comments quite a bit as well.
This week kids get an extra week off while the district prepares to launch virtual school next week and original announcement said that until March 27th but given the level of closures in our area I don’t see any way they go back to school anytime soon, I think once they figure out virtual it will stay that way for the rest of the school year.
Australia (my APs country) issued a notice (like many EU countries have done) encouraging citizens abroad to return home. My AP talked to her parents and has decided to stay and we are very grateful. Her mom however will no longer be coming in April. As others have mentioned, due to the DOS telling all agencies to stop J1 arrivals for 60 days that has created some scrambling for families that had APs due to arrive soon. Our next AP was supposed to arrive May 31st so that only two weeks after that time period so I am not optimistic that it’s realistic. Lucky for us (for now) our next AP says she is willing to wait and can hold out until August without starting another school semester but if current has to leave and next one can’t come yet. Sigh…
As an LCC I have had one German in my group leave after getting a similar notice, interestingly enough South Africa is deploying the opposite strategy and telling people in other countries not to come back to SA!
My APs travel course was made virtual which is funny because its “Discover Chicago”…sigh…but at least she doesn’t lose all her money and can complete her credits and her program requirements before she leaves.
Pretty somber here…
Update-our au pair was off for the weekend and went on a trip with her boyfriend. I texted her while she was gone to say that we were isolating ourselves and that she had to join us in that if she wanted to stay with us (prior to this she had been staying the night at her boyfriends house a lot). She said she would choose to stay with us but then two hours later called to inform us that her a member of her boyfriend‘s hockey team was very sick, short of breath, etc. and asked if it was still OK for her to come home. I told her yes. Now she is lying to us, “going to the grocery store,” but the GPS tracker in the car, shows she is going to his house. I’m so angry and frustrated! We live in a rural community where community sodas is already happening and all the beds in our hospital are already full! I just want to kick her out/send her home!!! LCC for our cluster is useless. Any advice?
Talk to her about it. I know it’s likely you are correct in your assessment but just to make sure she wasn’t leaving a box on the boyfriends porch or dropping off his jacket but not seeing him etc (and didn’t mention it because she just dropped something off and really did go to grocery store). Did you explicitly tell her she can’t go to the BFs house? I’m assuming yes. Do you need an AP right now? If yes and she had a good excuse or apologized profusely and swore it wouldn’t happen again then I’d probably tell her she’s on strike two and cannot leave at all for the next X weeks. If she won’t agree then you’re done. If she however balks when you confront her and doesn’t take responsibility or think it’s a big deal then you have major philosophical differences and that’s extremely difficult to overcome and impossible if she won’t respect your boundaries (even if she doesn’t agree with them). As an LCC sidenote – she should slow down and think about all this because I don’t know many families right now that would take a flippant AP who possibly had an exposure so she might be buying her own ticket home. What country is she from?
She is from Denmark. Yes-she definitely knew it was forbidden to go to her boyfriends house (and she’s NOT just dropping something off) since we had a family meeting (with au pair in attendance) and I had to explain to my angry 16 year old daughter that we are isolating ourselves right now and she can’t hang out with her boyfriend right now. We can do without an au pair for the next month-her year runs out at the end of April and she was to be the last one for us (after 10 years). I was ready/willing to put her on a flight Tuesday morning (on my dime) but she wants to go on her travel month in May. I think she is being ridiculous and should get home now while she still can. She cannot stay here in our home until the end of April. Has anyone ever had an au pair go stay somewhere else during their year?
A bit late to the thread….(so I apologize if this is no longer relevant.)
It sounds like she has not only broken your trust, but willfully and recklessly jeopardized with the health of you/your kids. She is an adult. And going into rematch is not the same as someone openly showing you they will prioritize their social life over your family. This may sound harsh, but if she were a stranger boarding with you, this would not be tolerable—and you would remove them. I can’t imagine how much more hurtful it feels it’s coming from someone who you have invited into your family….I’m so sorry you’re going through this….
A bit late to the thread….(so I apologize if this is no longer relevant.)
It sounds like she has broken your trust, as well as jeopardized the health of you/your kids. I can’t imagine how upsetting this must be for you guys.
If this is beyond your tolerance level, it seems fair (for everyone) to let her know your family has decided to take a proactive approach, which is in line with government advice. And that your whole family is making these changes, so it’s up to her if she wants to stay. So, less of a discussion, more of a decision.
This is EXACTLY what just happened to my family. Right now we’ve told the au pair she needs to figure out whether she wants to stay under our rules or leave. Our rules are walks are allowed in fresh air with one friend at a time, whenever she’s off. For context, I assumed she was going on a walk yesterday afternoon and she didn’t return till today. When I texted she gave a whole story that she was at her au pair friends. I was alarmed because both my kids have had fevers for days and I didn’t want her exposing the other kids so I called the host mom (found her number in the school directory) and it turns out she was at her boyfriends. Trust of broken.
Talk to your LCC, but it sounds like you’d need to go into rematch to end her time with you early (*if* your contact with her is until the end of April).
Send her packing. The question you have to ask yourself is do you care more about the safety of your family and community or facilitating your au pair’s social life and travel plans? Pretty simple.
We are currently doing “sheltering in place” and school is closed. My au pair is leaving us at the end of this month to extend for her second year with another family, and I lucked out in finding an in country au pair to replace her. My current au pair and new au pair are both careful to remain at home. However, I’m getting worried about my new au pair because she lives in NYC. It seems extremely risky for her to take a cross country flight from NYC with all the Coronavirus cases there. But we also desperately need the childcare. Does anyone else have this kind of predicament or have ideas on how to deal with it?
BayAreaHostMom
We are not going to school or work and being extremely careful when we go to the grocery store, but every single night, our au pair goes out to visit “one friend.” She said the friend is super safe, and they “watch movies.” I am upset that I do not allow my kids to see their friends not even one at a time, but she keeps going out every night. Does anyone know what authority I have to ban her nightly trips out? I guess I should ask my LCC because it is causing a lot of friction and anxiety in our house. My kids are older, and the main thing I need an au pair for is driving them to school and activities. Since those are all canceled, I don’t even really need her. She is holding out hopes that her travel month happens since she has travel planned on 5/16 – June.
Sorry you’re dealing with that, it’s got to be really frustrating especially when you don’t need her to really provide childcare. As an LCC I would tell you that you determine how your family weathers this storm. You have a right to set new temporary rules just like she has a right to ask to transition if she doesn’t agree. There are a lot of transitions happening right now.
There are APs going home over virus concerns or because family/country has told them to, HFs no longer needing AP due to job loss or situation like yours where needs have drastically changed and HFs and APs that had already rocky relationships are the first to crumble.
There’s also higher demand for in country APs because HFs who were expecting their new APs to arrive last week plus the next 60 days are now having to go into the pool and get someone already here vs overseas so she could likely match with one of those HFs needing someone for the next couple months though I suspect they will also want her to isolate.
Ultimately if you no longer need an AP and she doesn’t want to completely isolate then I would make a decision about whether you actually need an AP. Decide and have a very candid conversation with her and if you’re willing to ride it out let her know you need complete isolation and a positive attitude or you need to pull the plug. Or just explain your needs have drastically changed so the expense no longer makes sense and you don’t want to be her warden and give her a chance to find a family that has a more lax virus strategy (there are some but very few and far between from what I’m seeing and even they could change their rules as things progress).
Ultimately though I can’t imagine paying $400 a week for two months if you don’t need care. Mine was mostly a driver but we have 3 kids and AP is an aspiring teacher so she was thrilled to develop and run “Camp Quarantine” as she called it this week while mine were on break and then very excited to run homeschooling going forward. I don’t have any of the skills required to homeschool and have business calls and work to do full time as does my hubs so my AP has become even more valuable to us during this time! Can you find additional child related things for her to do/help with to make it a win/win for you both?
So… we’re in a strange dilemma. My au pair had a pre arranged trip make home to Brazil last Friday. And although I asked her to change it to a later date, I definitely did not ‘demand’ she stay since I know she’s been looking forward to seeing her family. But a lot has changed in one week and now I’m not sure if it’s the right decision to have her fly back to our house at this time. Any thoughts?? What would you guys do? She’s well aware that we are very much socially isolating and that she will have more responsibilities now that the kids are doing school at home so that part doesn’t appear to be an issue. It’s just whether she should ‘self quarantine’ in our house…
We have the same dilemma…our au pair traveled even with warning to a country that has been hit hard from the virus only returning because “it is far safer in the US”…our home is extremely immunocompromised! We have her isolating herself in the guest house however, on Friday my physician reached out who knows the situation we are in and said the virus in China has evolved and patients who tested positive, then recovered and tested negative are now having the virus show back up testing positive once again and are able to shed the virus asymptotically! We are not sure if we can have her rejoin the home out of safety for our children however, she is by far our favorite au pair.
How social was she before all this? How long does she have left on her term? Do you truly believe she will be able to keep her positive if completely isolated?
Some families have been putting their returning APs up in hotels for 3-5 days or have had the APs self quarantine in the home upon return. Is she even able to return right now? I know of APs that went home that are now stuck. The DOS has also said they will extend the rule (APs can’t leave the US for more than 30 days) due to that circumstance.
As far as I know they shut down international flights and stop allowing J1 entries last week and are in the process of closing our borders to the north and south (if not done already). Have you talked to your agency and LCC? It’s my understanding they can leave to go home to their country but nobody (except citizens) is getting in right now.
The families that I mentioned that were quarantining APs were doing it due to domestic AP travel not international.
What does the quarantine in the hotel look like? Put them there and order meal deliveries for them? Are the au pairs accepting of it or are they put out by it? I want to do that with my new au pair who will be coming from NYC, but I have no idea how to start this conversation. Any tips? Thanks!
She was social beforehand and after reading these posts I definitely reinforced that she would not be able to do the things she did prior to this. We chose to have her stay. Not sure she would be allowed back in but she seemed to think she could and we wouldn’t know until she was actually at the airport. So we told her to stay but now she wants to continue getting paid….
FL hostmom what is your agency/LCC telling you in this situation? I’d be curious to know the logistics and how they are recommending you handle it and what will happen with her from a pay perspective.
Bayareahostmom I think a lot depends on how your relationship is with your ap and how you handle the situation. If it was me I would have her self isolate in my home and I would give her a bell. LOL. Seriously though having her in a hotel wouldn’t necessarily mean she’s isolated so I’d want her in my house plus if she got sick and was away alone at a hotel I’d feel horrible. Yes I’m high risk but would rather have her potentially bring it in my house than suffer alone in a hotel. But my AP is true blue family. We’ve all sat down and talked with her parents and they told her to do what we say 100% and I’ve committed to her that we are going to make sure she’s taken care of through this.
In essence we had a conversation about how bad this could really get, gave her the option to return home and talked with her parents and then everyone recommitted to the plan/program. She wanted to know if there was any chance we wouldn’t need her anymore (no – and all of your APs are wondering this right now whether they ask or not you should be honest with them and talk about it now) because she’d rather go home than transition. We told her she’s needed now more than ever. So we’ve got a new commitment to ride this thing out together and have discussed all the worst case scenarios.
The APs that have been put up in hotels have complained but it was about how they felt. I think if you do it with care and love and lots of explanation and ap agreement you might not have the angst. It is scary for them to stay in a hotel alone and there is the question of meals (yes you provide). If I wanted to do that I’d probably have a very frank conversation with my ap and talk it all through. Tell her you hate the idea but don’t know that there’s any other way you can bring her home. Tell her where she would stay, how you would handle meals, what to do if she has symptoms (keeping in mind many people don’t get any symptoms and supposedly this thing can incubate for up to 14 days) and id check in with her constantly. Ask her how she feels about it and what her concerns are. Treat her as you would want someone to treat your child in a foreign country in this situation.
What are some things folks are doing to help your au pairs improve their English while they are stuck at home? In our case, I am working (from home) all day, and my preteen has minimal school work to do and ends up spending a lot of time playing video games. Our poor au pair is bored (as are we all) but also a little concerned about possibly not being able to really reach his goal of total English fluency. We talk and interact of course, but it’s not the same as being out in the community having to navigate every day scenarios. Any ideas? What are you guys doing?
Hi! As a non-native speaker and former au pair I suggest just communicating with her verbally and encourage watching TV shows with subtitles on. It helped me tremendously. But nothing can replace live communication with adults. If you are willing to do this it will be the best thing for her English. My English was pretty limited since host family didn’t talk to me (I was just a cheap labor), and there is no way I could pick good English from a 4 years old. I started getting more fluent once I started communicating with native speakers. School is good cause they teach basics and proper way to build sentences. But communication, reading in English and watching TV will help much more. Hope it helps.
Is anyone else worried that all these agencies are going to go bankrupt? I’ve been trying to get a refund from APIA since my terrible au pair rematched herself a month ago. I tried interviewing some rematch au pairs, but found exactly zero of them who seemed willing to comply with social distancing/ quarantine (and my family is very high risk). APIA is telling me “refunds are backlogged” and will take 30 days instead of the 10 business days they previously told me. I suspect they won’t have a penny left in 30 days, with no new au pairs coming in, and they know it, so they’re trying to get away with not paying what they owe.
What is the refund policy with APIA?
Any advice on au pairs now seeing an increase in work with children no longer in school? My hours have nearly doubled (an hour in the morning + after school up until dinner has become the entirety of the day from breakfast to dinner) and my host mom hasn’t brought up additional money or time off and I don’t know how to do so without p*ssing her off. I’ve also been struggling a lot with being so far away from my family during this difficult time and would love to return (but understand it’s not the best) so the both of those combined has had me really hating my job lately.
I’m also an au pair and while I’m also struggling with this situation, I don’t see why the HFs should pay more just because now we’re doing the 45 hours? It’s literally in our contract, we can work up to 45 hours during the week. So if they don’t exceed that, you should just not expect them to pay you more.
I am pretty sure any AP in the US who was not already working the 45 hours per week that is (as Emma accurately points out) is part of the contract signed by APs, they are working more hours now than they were before the COVID-19 crisis. I see no reason why the HF should be obligated to pay you more or give you extra time off just because you are working more than the 4ish hours per day you started out working. That’s only 20 hours per week, far less than most APs normally work for the agreed upon stipend. I’m guessing you came here expecting only to work 4 hours per day, so now it feels unfair that you have to work more. If you find this intolerable and can’t manage to deal with it, then maybe you should go home. Talk with your host parents about how you feel as soon as possible, but don’t be surprised if they are annoyed if you ask for more money or time off – these requests make you seem incredibly self absorbed and entitled. It seems clear you have no idea what kind of stress they may be going through dealing with this situation, including possible financial difficulties. Talk to them!
Everyone’s kids are stuck at home, most parents still have to work, and this is incredibly stressful for EVERYONE. While I completely sympathize with anyone who finds this difficult, it is exactly at these times when APs show what they’re made of. Are you really part of the family? Can you put aside your own annoyances and do what needs to be done? No HF should be asking you to work more than 45h per week, or to break any of the other rules of the program, but people often get APs because they need the reliability and flexibility of the program, the option to have 45 hours of help when they need it, even if they usually don’t. No one chose this crazy COVID-19 lockdown situation, we all wish our kids were back in school, but we have to find a way to manage.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have a wonderful AP who completely understands why he needs to work more hours now than he did before we were all stuck at home with 4 kids who need to do schoolwork. He never complains even though I know it must be exhausting and stressful for him (it is for me!) and he has been amazingly helpful. I am deeply grateful to him for everything, so happy that he is part of our family, and I tell hi this all the time. When all this is over my husband and I plan to give him a big financial bonus for being such a great AP in these difficult times.
I work in Europe, not the US. I’m contracted for 30 hours, I’m currently working 50.
As an American au pair working in Europe right now, I understand. I am contracted for 25 hours per week — as per laws here — and am now easily doing 50. Depending on what country you are in, I would certainly ask for more time off or more money (especially if you are in northern Europe. I am in Finland and all the au pairs here are negotiating this way).
Personally I am struggling similarly — my host parents are both surgeons, so still working through all of this. I have the kids from 6 to 18 every day, alone. I am lucky because my family is wonderful and we are really family, but I think I will ask for more time off (my preferred solution) soon.
In that case you are absolutely being over-worked since it is not what you agreed to when you came to the family and you are completely justified in asking for more money or time off to compensate.
Speak up!
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