Your Host Parent approach

Micro-Affirmations: Tiny, Powerful Ways to Motivate & Thank Your Au Pair

by cv harquail June 10, 2014

For work completely unrelated to AuPairMom, I’ve been researching the concept of “micro-affirmations”, which are the opposite of “micro-aggressions”. These are small, almost imperceptible behaviors towards one another than can either affirm or threaten another person. In organizations, they are the behavioral building blocks of an inclusive welcoming culture, or a dominating, oppressive one. Often […]

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You Know You’re A Great Au Pair Host Mom When…?

by cv harquail May 6, 2014

Celebrating (Au Pair Host) Mother’s Day Do you ever have one of those moments when you say to yourself, “Gosh darn it, sometimes I *am* a great host mom!”? Go ahead, admit it. Or better yet, tell us about it, by filling in the rest […]

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Photographing Host Children: What’s appropriate to shoot, and what’s appropriate to share?

by cv harquail April 7, 2014

All children are beautiful. When we, our au pairs, our families, and our friends see our beautiful child, it’s oh-so-tempting to try to hold that image of beauty still, to want to preserve it as a memory forever. When we adore these children, when we are proud of them, when we love them, we want […]

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Scheduling Your Au Pair: When does “On Duty” start and stop?

by cv harquail March 28, 2014

When does an au pair actually ‘start’ or ‘stop’ being on duty? When we’re counting up the hours in the week that we need childcare, it’s tempting to imagine that we can start and stop ‘on duty’ time right on the precise minute. How else are we to cover an entire week? I look back […]

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Bending the the Wrong Direction? Giving your Au Pair what she really wants

by cv harquail March 25, 2014

One day when I was feeling really overwhelmed by the administrivia, chores, chauffeuring and routines of our household, I asked my tweenage daughter: “Of the things I do for you and your sister, which ones matter the most to you? What do I do that helps you feel really loved?” I thought the answer might […]

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Create A Bucket List for Au Pair Adventures

by cv harquail March 24, 2014

If you could create a ‘bucket’ list for any Au Pair coming to the USA, to help him or her make sure to take FULL advantage of the Au Pair adventure, what would you recommend? Writes TexasHM: This morning I had a random idea – what if I created for my AP a list like this […]

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Host Parent Confidential: Who do you confide in about your au pair relationship challenges?

by cv harquail March 11, 2014

Supposedly, The best way to stay motivated is to tell people about your goal. Supposedly, The best way to get new insights is to talk about your problem with other people who have different perspectives. So if you want to stay motivated to work on your relationship with your au pair, and you want to get […]

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When Your Au Pair Wants To Bring Home A New Romance

by cv harquail February 22, 2014

Oh, the au pair adventure! A new country, a new family, and sometimes even a new romance. When our au pairs fall in love — or heck, if they find somebody really hot that they want to date — they often want to bring this person home with them. When that home is also your […]

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Celebrating Your Au Pair By Creating Experiences

by cv harquail February 15, 2014

Often when we want to celebrate a milestone with our au pair, our thoughts turn to gifts of things. We don’t feel embarrassed turning to gift cards and cash, because we know that our au pairs are often saving money for travel or for some special item at Urban Outfitters. We tend to recommend […]

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