Your Host Parent approach

What Makes an Au Pair a “Rock Star”?

by cv harquail February 25, 2016

… asks a Host Mom who thinks hopes she has one. I think I’ve always assumed that, like quality and pr0n, “you know it when you see it” if you’ve got a Rock Star Au Pair. And, I’ve probably also assumed that what makes some one a Rock Star Au Pair really depends on what […]

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What’s Luck Got To Do With It?

by cv harquail February 20, 2016
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Absolutely, luck plays a role in the Host Parent – Au Pair Relationship. There’s all sorts of random in the timing of applicants’ availability, in the ways their portfolios get served up by Agencies, in their mention of that one little fact that makes us pay attention, and in the friends they make (or don’t) their […]

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Creating an Au Pair – Host Parent Partnership that Doesn’t Exclude the Other Host Parent

by cv harquail February 12, 2016
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In some families, parents aim to share childcare and home management equally.  In other families, there is one parent (of the two, three or four) who serves as the “lead parent”.  The Lead Parent is the one who runs the forgotten lunch over to school, stays home when a kid is sick, and manages the family’s childcare. […]

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Au Pair Claims There’s Nothing To Eat, but the Fridge is Full

by cv harquail February 6, 2016
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Dear Au Pair Moms — I am a first time host parent to a 20 year old au pair from Eastern Europe.  She’s been with us for two months. We have two toddlers for whom she is responsible 4 days a week. She is “good” with the kids but definitely does not go above and beyond. We’ve […]

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Partnership Advice for Au Pair Host Parents

by cv harquail February 4, 2016
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After our previous post, I went back to an old, old post to clip and repeat these key bits of advice for Host Parent Partners: Host Parent Partners need to confirm, explicitly, how they will work as partners as well as individuals to manage their Au Pair relationship.   Nothing about how having an au pair (or […]

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Untangling and Saying Goodbye to Long-Term Au Pair

by cv harquail February 2, 2016
jereme wong

Here’s a situation that’s a real outlier — this Host Family has had their same Au Pair for 8 years. First, as an Au Pair, then as a visiting (live in) student. Even though it’s an uncommon situation, I thought you readers might enjoy the whole story and have ideas to share. Now it’s time […]

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When Having An Au Pair Exposes Cracks in Your Marriage

by cv harquail January 30, 2016
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Getting an Au Pair can expose cracks in your marriage that you haven’t seen before. Getting an Au Pair can also force you to pay attention to dynamics that have been there all along but that you and your spouse have “successfully” avoided before. It’s not the Au Pair herself or himself that “causes” the […]

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Single Host Mom with UnAppreciative Au Pair: Can This Relationship Be Saved?

by cv harquail January 23, 2016
au pair problems, au pair depressed

Dear Au Pair Mom Readers — I don’t know why I thought I was ready for this!! Friends of my parents have had wonderful experiences with their au pairs and I thought hosting an au pair would allow for my daughter to be at home another year while I returned to school. First, the positive: […]

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How Best To Celebrate Our Au Pair’s Extension? (Poll)

by cv harquail January 14, 2016
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Dear AuPairMom — We’d love the community’s advice about how to recognize and celebrate our Au Pair’s agreement to extend with us.   I’d like to know what is expected, common, meaningful, etc. Our family with save about $1500 (not to mention loads of time and hassle) because she’s extending for another year. I’d like […]

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Help Your Au Pair Develop Rituals For Bonding With Host Kids

by cv harquail January 12, 2016
au pair, host child, childcare

As I was snuggling my tweenager on the couch after a hard day at school, my mind wandered back to all those times when I’d come home from the University to find this same daughter — infant sized — snuggled up in the rocking chair napping with our Au Pair Margit. All the books I’d […]

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