Being generous

Feeling Squished by Our Au Pair

by cv harquail June 23, 2009

What do you do when your au pair wants so much to be with you and your family that you never get any personal space? And, what happens when, in your efforts to be kind and generous, you continue to cede important personal space, events, and rituals to incorporate her, making your personal space smaller […]

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Your Au Pair’s Guests: A few guidelines….

by cv harquail June 17, 2009

I just love reading all these posts nodding my head knowing I am not alone in my feelings! One topic that I think may have been covered lightly is Out of Town Guests. Our Au Pair is having A TON of guests! She has her Step Father coming, a single girlfriend, a married couple, her […]

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Working out isn’t working, is it?

by cv harquail June 11, 2009

What really counts as "work" and when are we willing to bend the rules? This mom’s getting a workout– and not the kind that makes your heart healthy. … "We are family members at our local gym, which provides childcare while parents are working out. We added our au pair to our membership (didn’t change […]

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Au Pair Appreciation: Try this today!

by cv harquail May 5, 2009

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International Au Pair Appreciation Week Moms and Dads, it’s still International Au Pair Appreciation Week, and there is STILL TIME for you to send in a note, a sentence and/or a photo to share with the world something that you appreciate about your au pair. I’d love to have a few more submissions! Still, I […]

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How to choose between two good candidates? Offer your opinion…

by cv harquail April 24, 2009

When folks ask for advice about their au pair, don’t you just wish sometimes you could go back with them to the very beginning, back when they were deciding what kind of au pair to choose? And you could tell them just what you think they should do? It could be just like in a […]

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Setting Guidelines when your Au Pair has guests

by cv harquail April 23, 2009

When an au pair has guests come to visit, it is tempting for the Host Parents to give the au pair lots of ‘extras’– extra time off, extra flexibility, extra food and space, and basically to try to accommodate their au pair’s expected desire to spend time with the visiting friend or family member. This […]

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What keeps you hanging on to a disappointing Au Pair?

by cv harquail April 19, 2009

Let’s look at the other side of the situation of the half-empty/half-full relationship … We’ve shared and commented on stories from host parents who are having bad experiences but can’t seem to let go , even though to us — as outsiders looking in — the decision to rematch (or not to extend) seems both […]

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Your House is Not a Youth Hostel

by cv harquail April 3, 2009

Let me repeat that: Your house is not a youth hostel. It’s not a hotel. It’s not a pied a terre. Your house is your home, and if you choose to have friends of your au pair as overnight guests, there is a lot to think about. One blatant sign that a host mom and […]

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The 3rd Car: Avoiding a sense of entitlement

by cv harquail March 31, 2009

We all want to be generous, and we all want to be appreciated. There’s nothing like having a third car for your au pair to use to make you aware of the tension that can exist when you want to be generous and want to be appreciated. When we bought our first Volvo wagon to […]

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Advice Wanted: How to manage too much “personal” use of family car

by cv harquail March 25, 2009

I need advice about car usage for our au pair. Our au pair has been with us for a little over 7 weeks now. She is doing a great job and has really blended well with our family. Part of her duties (driving) are to drop-off/pick-up our children from school 3 days a week & […]

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