Being fair

Share the Cream: Give your AP meaningful work to do

by cv harquail September 28, 2009

One piece of advice my friend Adelaide gave me when we got our first au pair was “Share the Cream.” “Sharing the Cream” means sharing both the good parts (the cream) as well as the tough parts of a job or an experience. I don’t know where Adelaide came up with this saying, but it’s […]

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Who pays for what?

by cv harquail September 7, 2009

Sometimes the concept of treating an au pair like a ‘member of the family’ doesn’t give you enough guidance. This seems especially true when it comes to figuring out ‘who pays for what, when’. We got a request (using the Skribit feature) for a post that would heolp to establish some guidelines for this. I’ve […]

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“No Room at the Inn” because AP changed her plans. Now what? (Poll)

by cv harquail August 22, 2009

My au pair’s vacation is coming up. To cover for her, we’re having both sets of grandparents come stay over. They’ll be here for a month, but will overlap for a little over a week. The overlap will occur while the AP is on vacation. We have a smallish house – 3 bedrooms. Our “guest […]

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Gossip Girls: When your AP tells stories, what can you do?

by cv harquail August 18, 2009

Researchers in my field of organizational behavior&theory have found that gossip in organizations provides some useful functions, like lubricating relationships, creating interpersonal bonds, allowing people to express their fears, and perhaps most important, offering people an informal way to make sense of what’s going on around them. While it may be that gossip at work […]

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Can you dock her pay if she owes you money? Poll

by cv harquail August 14, 2009

Are there any situations when it’s fair for you to withhold or ‘dock’ your au pair’s pocket money? We skirted around this issue in a previous conversation about when your au pair refuses to work, but never answered it directly. Now, we’ve got a topic request (on Skribit) with a very specific situation: You AP […]

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Extending– without the Agency. Yes or no?

by cv harquail June 17, 2009

We are in month 8 with our first au pair (she’s frmo Thailand), who has been great. We would like to extend, and she would like to stay for at least six months more, but she would like to do so outside of the agency. Apparently a friend of hers, at the end of her […]

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What’s the cure for “Summer Fever”?

by cv harquail May 22, 2009

When seasons change, so do family schedules. When family schedules change, so do au pair schedules. And when au pair schedules change, sometimes you uncover a problem. For my family, there is a big difference between winter and summer. In the summer, we spend weekends and even some full weeks at my dad’s house at […]

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Follow Up: Rude Comments about Au Pairs– How to respond

by cv harquail May 19, 2009

I was thinking again about our conversation around "Myths about au pairs: Au Pair = "Hottie" , and ideas about how to respond when people make rude comments to us host parents about au pairs. One au pair commented that she was concerned that If people make these sorts of comments in your au pair’s […]

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Setting Guidelines when your Au Pair has guests

by cv harquail April 23, 2009

When an au pair has guests come to visit, it is tempting for the Host Parents to give the au pair lots of ‘extras’– extra time off, extra flexibility, extra food and space, and basically to try to accommodate their au pair’s expected desire to spend time with the visiting friend or family member. This […]

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When you are available and your Au Pair is ‘on duty’ — how to manage?

by cv harquail April 16, 2009

Anything She Can Do, I Can Do Better.... on Flickr - Photo Sharing!_1231092697748.jpeg

Caveat: This is NOT a post about (1) when you work at home and your au pair is on duty, [post for another day] or (2) when you are absolutely off duty and she is on duty…[post from earlier today]. This one is about: When you both are at home and available to the kids— […]

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