When your AuPair departs

The 2nd Best Goodbye Gift You Can Give Your Au Pair

by cv harquail May 15, 2010

Last year one of our most active and committed community members “Taking a Computer Lunch“, casually mentioned something that she does for all of her au pairs shortly before they depart. She gives them the gift of “The Box“. What is “The Box”? We give our APs the biggest box their home countries permit, either […]

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Deciding whether to extend: The Au Pair’s Point of View

by cv harquail April 11, 2010

When we have an au pair we really like, and even sometimes a so-so au pair, we start to think: Hey, maybe we should extend with this au pair… another 6, 9, or 12 months with the comfort of knowing what we’ve got, taking advantage our mutual investment in the relationship, keeping things stable for […]

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Sad Host Mom: How to break the bad news about her visa

by cv harquail February 20, 2010

Parents, we got this email from an active commenter, who doesn’t really have a “problem” we can fix — but she does need us a little bit. Can you share any wisdom that might make this hard situation a little easier for her and her Au Pair? We love our au pair. She came to […]

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Au Pair Abruptly Quits, then wants to come back to see kids. Really? (poll)

by cv harquail January 28, 2010

Here’s a painful situation, about which this host mom could use some good advice. I’m sure that this kind of situation has happened to other families who’ve gone into rematch [Something similar happened to us with our flame-out au pair, and so reading this mom’s email got me all mad all over again. What went […]

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Letters of Recommendation: For a so-so au pair? (Poll)

by cv harquail January 20, 2010

When your au pair is getting ready to leave you, either to end her year or to extend with a different family, it’s nice to write her a letter of recommendation. Unless, of course, you wouldn’t recommend her to anyone. When the topic of recommendation letters has come up before, you all have been of […]

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How to stay happy as a Lame Duck host parent

by cv harquail December 28, 2009

There comes a time in your relationship with your au pair where your ability to influence her behavior vanishes- just vanishes. This usually happens as she is getting ready to leave, either to go back home or to go on to an extension with another family. [When this happens during rematch, it’s an entirely different […]

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Good Bye, Good Luck from exAuPairMom

by cv harquail October 13, 2009

I always wonder about “the rest of the story” when I get a notice that someone has unsubscribed from the email newsletter .. for the reason that “the content is no longer valid”. I usually take that to mean “we don’t have an au pair anymore”. Over the weekend we got this letter from a […]

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Checkout Task List: Back by popular demand

by cv harquail August 26, 2009

(Several readers have asked to see this list again… turns out it’s been hard to find, probably I need to use more & better tags. Until the rainy day when I get to play with the folksonomy, here’s the Checkout Task List! originally posted Aug 25, 2008) When your aupair is getting ready to leave […]

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Settling Accounts — Before she departs

by cv harquail August 17, 2009

The comment from PA AuPair mom in the post about docking the au pair’s pay sent a chill down my spine, and reminded me that I need to write and post this bit of advice: Before your Au Pair leaves, be sure to settle all accounts with her. This advice is not for host parents […]

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Saying Goodbye to an Au Pair you Parents really love

by cv harquail July 8, 2009

Last year I wrote a post about “Her Next Adventure”: Telling your kids that your Au Pair is leaving which elicited a lot of good advice for helping the children say goodbye to their au pair. We just got a request from a mom with a different version of the problem– a version which, if […]

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