Random Advice

Recent Widower / Single Host Dad: How to find the right au pair?

by cv harquail April 21, 2010
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Readers, Here’s a specific question about choosing the right au pair for a family that has lost their mom through tragedy. We had one host dad comment on our earlier post about single parents, and I know that there are at least two other host dad-readers who have lost their wives and who have hired […]

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We interrupt this vacation…

by cv harquail April 19, 2010
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Hi AuPairMom readers — I didn’t think it would be this long between posts — we’ve gone off for a long-awaited family vacation and gotten sidetracked by volcano-related drama. Let it suffice to say that, since we leave for home from Rome, at the end of the week, we expect to slip underneath the ash […]

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Au Pairs and the Single Host Parent

by cv harquail April 18, 2010
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We haven’t talked much about the specific challenges of host parent – au pair relationships when there is only one parent, a single parent, involved. There are some challenges that are specific to the gender & orientation balance, of, say, a female au pair and a single host dad, or a male au pair and […]

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Au Pair Asks: When Host Kids Are Mean

by cv harquail April 6, 2010
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Hi Readers, we interrupt our regularly scheduled plan for an emergency request for advice that popped up in the comments of the previous post. Here’s the issue, from VA AuPairMaidNanny: Some of you dedicated readers & Host Parents will remember that I posted a few weeks ago about my experience so far. Many of you […]

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A Good Au Pair Relationship Requires Your Emotional Investment

by cv harquail April 2, 2010
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Regardless of the type of childcare your family chooses for your kid(s), there is always some work involved in maintaining your relationship with the actual caregivers. With a daycare center, you need to communicate with the staff members and with the administrators on things ranging from schedules to toilet-training strategies. With your mother, mother-in-law or […]

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When Troubles Back Home Cause Distress

by cv harquail March 30, 2010
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A large number of au pairs, perhaps even a majority, become au pairs in the US as a way to escape something at home. They may be escaping a bleak economic outlook, a scarcity of jobs post-high school, intense political strife, or an unsafe environment. Many au pairs are escaping bad family situations, including their […]

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Au Pair Management Tip: Schedule Transition Time

by cv harquail March 29, 2010
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Here is a tip for both host parent and au pairs alike: Schedule transition time, with explicit overlap between when the au pair and the parent (or other caregiver) switch who’s ‘on duty’. Back when I worked as a manufacturing manager I always had to be there for “shift overlap”, when the outgoing shift would […]

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Interviewing Au Pair Candidates: Every Question You’ve Ever Recommended We Ask

by cv harquail March 23, 2010
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Host Mom Melinda sent us all a wonderful present. Melinda went through many, many posts on AuPairMom where we’ve recommended interview questions — AND she put them all together! This will be a huge, long list. It includes some questions you’ll see on agency sites, plus several questions *exclusive* to all of us here. Thank […]

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Au Pair Advice: She’s using *my* coffee mug!

by cv harquail March 17, 2010
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We host parents can be a weird bunch. The kinds of things that drive us crazy… no wonder it can be hard for au pairs to get adjusted! Over the weekend I heard a crazy lament that I want to share with you. My friend has a new au pair, who’s been with them about […]

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Au Pair Community Counselors: Conflicts of interest?

by cv harquail March 13, 2010
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Can the role of the Local Community Counselor (or Area Director), and the compensation strategy for that job, set up an implicit conflict of interest? I think the answer to that question is: Yes. Caveats first: Each agency is different. This concern addresses only those agencies with the structure I describe below. First, let me […]

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