Random Advice

Gone Fishin’ — Back in mid-August

by cv harquail August 7, 2013

Too Stern? Or Not Stern Enough? Your Au Pair’s ‘Tone of Voice’ with Kids

by cv harquail August 6, 2013

From Should be working How can I help the AP know – when to be tough, – when to insist, – when to give in, – when to just do it for the kid even though the kid can do it for himself, – when to reach for the ‘strict tone’ and when to leave […]

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How might an Au Pair help a grieving family?

by cv harquail July 17, 2013

Dear Au Pair Moms – I was an AP for 2 years with a family, then came back home. Now, two years later, I will be going back to help the family during a very difficult time. I wanted to go back because my HD got diagnosed with cancer last year, and with the kids’ […]

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Au Pair Asks: How Do I Ask Prospective Host Families About Guns in Their Home?

by cv harquail June 17, 2013

Following on our earlier post about guns in the home, here’s a different take on the issue. An au pair candidate writes to ask– How do I ask possible host families about whether they have weapons in their home? When I replied this au pair’s email, I mentioned to her that she’s the first au […]

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What To Do When Your Au Pair Doesn’t Bathe

by cv harquail January 20, 2013

Some issues are just too awkward to talk about. But we have to talk about them anyway, because these are the very issues that keep host parents and au pairs from really connecting. We’ve hit some of these issues already– contraceptives, personal safety, swimming when she has her period (I told you they were awkward!), […]

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5 Key Strategies For Building A Strong Relationship With Your Au Pair

by cv harquail November 8, 2012

Dear AuPairMom Readers– I need your advice for summarizing host parent wisdom. Next Tuesday night, I’m scheduled to give a talk at The Modern Village, a parenting workshop series, about being an effective Host Parent. Back when I agreed to give the talk, I was sure I’d have a lot of ideas to share with […]

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When Your Au Pair Complains About The Schedule

by cv harquail October 31, 2012

Even when we host parents follow all the rules about scheduling, we can still run into trouble when au pairs begin to resent that their on-duty schedule cuts into their off-duty social time. Whether it’s a Saturday night that you need her to work, a school holiday he too thinks he should have ‘off’, or […]

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Every Parent’s Nightmare (Trigger Alert)

by cv harquail October 26, 2012

This is the kind of post I never wanted to write, but I expect some of us will need a place to express our horror and our very deep sadness about the murder of two NYC children by their nanny. Please do not read any further if you would prefer to avoid this issue.

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The Five Actions of Gratitude

by cv harquail September 27, 2012

Nothing takes the sting out of tough interaction with your au pair than a moment of gratitude for all that s/he does for your and your family. Studies show that regularly reflecting on things that are good and that you can be grateful for help to keep you in a more positive place, no matter […]

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When Matching with an Au Pair, Which Signals to Trust?

by cv harquail August 28, 2012

Each matching cycle, au pair host families get more and more information about au pair candidates to use when we’re making decisions. Where once we had blurry photocopies of handwritten applications sent through the mail (yes, really!), we now have digital files, translated reference letters, online photo collages, au pair application videos, facebook searches, instant […]

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