Training/teaching

Can this relationship be saved? Our Au Pair rubs me the wrong way….

by cv harquail April 15, 2009

Sometimes a host parent’s complaints about an au pair seem legitimate. Sometimes the complaints don’t seem legitimate. And sometimes, the host parent just really isn’t sure. Here’s a long request for advice from Anonymous . She sets it up as though she might be a bad person… and let me tell you that by the […]

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3 Ways to be a Great Host Parent

by cv harquail April 14, 2009

Here’s the first in an occasional series about Ways to be a Great Host Parent . Sorry Tolstoy. Whether happy or not so happy, not every host family is the same. We host families like to revel in our uniqueness and we like to think that, for the lucky au pair, our family is just […]

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Advice wanted… best medium & process for communicating expectations?

by cv harquail April 5, 2009

Calif Mom needs some ideas for upgrading her communication system with her au pair. My AP joined us last summer and is going to extend (yay!). I have been wanting to fine tune some expectations ahead of signing those papers, and have been taking notes on specific things I would like her to start doing […]

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Poll: Putting groceries away… fair chore?

by cv harquail March 28, 2009

One great treat of the internet age is ordering groceries on line to have them delivered to home at your convenience. We’ve been doing this for several years now, and it’s been worth every extra penny. I just log on whenever I find the time, and I schedule the delivery for when our au pair […]

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Getting her stuff back home: Is there a cheap way to ship things?

by cv harquail March 27, 2009

The amount of money your au pair has saved and the amount of stuff she needs to get back home are inversely proportional. That’s a problem, because if she wants to take that stuff home, it’s gonna cost some money. How can your au pair get that extra stuff home as inexpensively as possible? One […]

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Can This Relationship Be Saved?Au Pair has tantrums when given feedback, then doesn’t change the behavior

by cv harquail March 24, 2009

Loyal Reader and Commenter Maya has had it — and who can blame her. Her au pair becomes a drama queen (my words) when given feedback, then doesn’t change the behavior. When I was reading this comment this morning, it brought back a wave of nausea, as I remembered our meeting with TL (worst au […]

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Make your home a nest of creativity

by cv harquail March 19, 2009

Perhaps one of the most useful bits of advice for managing an au pair relationship is "be creative". Creative in terms of how you see things, how you respond to challenges, how you integrate your priorities and your au pair’s abilities, and how you develop a relationship between your kids and your au pair. It […]

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Half-Full or Half-Empty? Extending the “so-so” au pair

by cv harquail March 17, 2009

Glass half full, or empty? We are approaching the time to decide whether to extend with current AP. Because she may have seen me reading this blog on my computer, I want to stay vague but give enough info to generate discussion. We’ve had several APs, and a few rematches. Two kids, one in kindergarten, […]

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Share a page from your handbook …

by cv harquail February 10, 2009

When I started au pair momming 11 years ago, there was no such thing as an Au Pair Handbook. My au pair agency never recommended that I create a family manual, and my LCC actually laughed when I told her that I’d put together a printed list of guidelines for our incoming au pair. My, […]

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Don’t take your Au Pair on vacation during her first 3 months!

by cv harquail February 8, 2009

Okay host moms- I’m coming out with a pretty specific "Don’t": Don’t, I say DON’T, take your au pair on a vacation the first 3 months she is with you. Why? Because: 1. It sets up inaccurate expectations about how she will be treated (e.g., as a guest and tourist vs. as a ‘working’ member […]

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