Rematch & “transitions”

Can this Au Pair relationship be saved? Lying, smoking, drinking, and the silent treatment

by cv harquail March 3, 2010

Hi, AuPairMom Readers– We are a host family in a metropolitan suburb with two young boys. This is our fourth year hosting. Over the years, we have had 3 very successful matches and 2 rematches – a mixed bag. The good matches were very good, and those au pairs continue to visit us, and we […]

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Good Bye, Good Luck from exAuPairMom

by cv harquail October 13, 2009

I always wonder about “the rest of the story” when I get a notice that someone has unsubscribed from the email newsletter .. for the reason that “the content is no longer valid”. I usually take that to mean “we don’t have an au pair anymore”. Over the weekend we got this letter from a […]

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Settling Accounts — Before she departs

by cv harquail August 17, 2009

The comment from PA AuPair mom in the post about docking the au pair’s pay sent a chill down my spine, and reminded me that I need to write and post this bit of advice: Before your Au Pair leaves, be sure to settle all accounts with her. This advice is not for host parents […]

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Unhappy Complainer who won’t make friends: Can this relationship be saved?

by cv harquail July 21, 2009

It’s funny how sometimes, when it’s your situation, the whole thing seems complex. Then when someone else reads it, the answer is clear. Or not. Do we ever really know whether a new au pair (or host family) is just struggling to get adjusted, or instead if it’s a lost cause? Check out the description […]

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Advice Wanted: Lost Mojo, Cold Feet. Now what?

by cv harquail June 7, 2009

Some call it losing your Host Mom Mojo. Others call it cold feet. Whatever it is that MR has, she needs some advice: "My new au pair is scheduled to arrive in less then 3 weeks. So far, we have had 2 au pairs in one year, both were failed matches. To make the matters […]

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It’s not you, it’s her. Let her go, move on.

by cv harquail June 5, 2009

Hi AuPair Mom and other other host moms (and dads), Our situation is confounding us! Please help us understand… We have had an absolutely bright, lovely, and energetic 20-year-old Swedish au pair for two months. We had a great first month with her and couldn’t imagine getting along better with anyone! We had a great […]

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Rematch? You vote yes or no….

by cv harquail May 25, 2009

When I saw this comment pop up earlier tonight, it reminded me of the story that we just discussed… so many similar issues. So I have an idea– let’s take a vote on whether or not this mom should insist on a rematch. Then, let’s give this mom some ideas about what to tell her […]

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11 Tips for Considering an Au Pair in Rematch

by cv harquail May 4, 2009

Oh dear. You’re in rematch. Maybe you were horrible. Maybe your au pair was horrible. Maybe you should have decided sooner, then again maybe you both could have tried harder. Whatever, it’s been a bad experience. The decision to rematch has been made, and now… you need childcare, and you don’t have much time to […]

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Extension Candidates: How to interview, what to look for

by cv harquail April 20, 2009

Extension candidates are a tough bunch. These au pairs already know the score… they know what it takes to be an au pair, they have already improved their English a bit, they know how hard it can be to take care of children, and they know the wide range of material situations that host families […]

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Extending with your current Au Pair: A Bad Idea?

by cv harquail April 20, 2009

Our post about interviewing extension candidates reminds us of an earlier bit of advice that was a surprise to many of us host parents. My LCC gave me great advice. No matter how good the relationship is, NEVER extend with the same au pair. It almost never works out. She thinks that an au pair […]

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