Rematch & “transitions”

When Agencies Reward Au Pairs Who Lack Commitment

by cv harquail February 9, 2011
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Like most customers, I want to believe that the company selling me things has my best interest in mind. I should know better– after all, I’ve taught in business schools for over 15 years. But still, I hope that even when a company exists to make money  they believe that they also exist to serve […]

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When Host Parents Disagree, once an Au Pair has let them down

by cv harquail January 29, 2011
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When there is more than one host parent in the household, it’s important for host parents to present a united front. Parents & Partners need to agree on household rules, behavioral expectations, and childcare preferences, and communicate in agreement to the au pair. When host parents disagree, it is impossible for an au pair to […]

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Au Pair Asks: My Host Mom wants to get rid of me. … Am I alone in this feeling?

by cv harquail January 16, 2011
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Readers, here’s another one of those emails that I just don’t have a good answer for… Can any of you au pairs or host parents offer her some comfort? Hi Au Pair Mom, I am an au pair and always read this blog, to know if I am doing right, to have kind of a […]

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Classic Case: We’re in rematch… Now what?

by cv harquail January 15, 2011
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Sometimes the questions we get are so big and so overwhelming to imagine answering, that the email ends up sitting in my box for days and days, waiting for me to get up the energy to tackle it. And so it was with this email, below. A first time host mom asks — We’re in […]

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Classic Case: Your childcare needs are not your Au Pair’s priority

by cv harquail December 29, 2010
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There are several situations that host parents and au pairs seem to see over and over. Each time, the situation has its own particular details, and it is happening to a host parent or au pair who feels the problems acutely and specifically. And yet, the situation has an underlying issue that we see time […]

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At Best, Two Weeks of Resentment?: How to handle that rematch period

by cv harquail December 22, 2010
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How many among us who have lived through a rematch can describe the two weeks between agreeing to a rematch and having the au pair depart as anything close to a pleasant, respectful experience? I’m not even going to put up a poll for that question. I bet, too, that one reason we don’t initiate […]

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My Au Pair is Stealing Little Items: Should I rematch?

by cv harquail December 16, 2010
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This query was tucked away in a previous post: Tough Topic: When your au pair steals from you. I thought it deserved its own, up-to-the-minute conversation. From Host Mom Pippa: I just last week caught our au pair stealing little items from us, confronted her, and then caught her the next day stealing more. AP […]

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Am I being unfair if I move on, and find another au pair?

by cv harquail November 20, 2010
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Here’s a request for some of your host parent wisdom: I am in need of opinions as to whether or not I am being unfair to our au pair. We have had the pleasure of hosting a delightful young woman for 1 year and we both agreed to a year-long extension. We have been pleased […]

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Explaining a Rematch to Host Children

by cv harquail October 22, 2010
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“It’s not you, it’s me.” if there is one time we want an au pair to appear somewhat self-focused, it’s when he or she is explaining to host kids that they are going into rematch. When an au pair says goodbye to host children, the AP should offer an explanation that puts responsibility solely on […]

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We’re moving, and must rematch. How soon do we tell our au pair?

by cv harquail September 23, 2010
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We have a wonderful au pair who has been living with us for 2 months. Unfortunately, due to a family medical emergency, we need to relocate to the other coast within the next 6 weeks. We will not be able to take our au pair with us so she will need to rematch. We want […]

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