Rematch & “transitions”

Don’t Be Afraid To Rematch If Your Au Pair Can’t Drive

by cv harquail December 11, 2015

I truly appreciate Host Parents who are reluctant to rematch when their Au Pair isn’t “perfect”. I appreciate Host Parents who are willing to “work it out”, who are willing to reset their expectations, and who are willing to celebrate what an Au Pair *has* rather than worry about what an Au Pair is […]

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Au Pair DUI: Rematch or not?

by cv harquail November 30, 2015

The answer to this one is pretty clear to me, even though I’m not the host parent who’d have to find and train a new au pair right in time for the Holidays: Writes HostMomWithCarTrouble: Would you rematch if your Au Pair got a DUI? It was our car. The kids were not in the […]

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Dear Au Pair: Yes, You Should Feel Guilty

by cv harquail September 11, 2015

Of the five types of emails we get most often from Au Pairs, the most annoying type is when an Au Pair writes hoping we’ll resolve him or her of any guilt they feel over quitting. There are times when it’s absolutely okay to quit. To ask for rematch. To throw in the towel and just go […]

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When Au Pair Candor Hurts Your Host Parent Feelings

by cv harquail May 18, 2015

We Host Parents want our Au Pairs to be truthful with us. Whether the topic is homesickness, feelings of depression, concerns about children’s behavior, or even our own emotional situations, we want our au pairs to tell us how they see things. As Americans, we believe that candor (being forthcoming) and honesty (telling the truth) […]

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Evaluating Progress As Your Au Pair Aims to Improve

by cv harquail January 8, 2015

au pair performance, au pair rematch, host parent advice

How much improvement is ‘enough’ to shift an au pair out of “on the way to rematch”? When there are performance issues with an Au Pair and we ask for an improvement, we expect that: (1) The au pair’s performance will improve, (2) Performance will improve enough to satisfy the Host Parent’s original concerns, (3) The […]

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AuPair in Rematch? Best Places to Find a New Family Fast

by cv harquail July 25, 2014

Sharing from behind the scenes here at AuPair Mom — I often get emails like the one below from either AuPairs or Host Parents hoping to help someone make a rematch quickly. As we all know, au pairs have only two weeks or so to find a new host family before they get ‘sent home’ […]

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Au Pair lies, but my kids love him. Should we rematch?

by cv harquail March 31, 2014

Just when you think the answer is clear, a situation comes along that makes it foggy again. Only last week, I claimed that repeated lying was an automatic, unquestionable grounds for rematch. Then, we got this email, below, from DevastatedHM. DevastatedHM has an au pair that she and her family adore, but who has broken […]

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Two Weeks, Three Lies, and One Next Step: Rematch

by cv harquail March 26, 2014

Unsafe behavior. Confirmed serious lying. These are the two unquestionable reasons for rematching– even if your au pair is brand-new. Of course, the agencies and even we ourselves ask that we give each new au pair situation a chance to work itself out. Many of us have had au pairs who turned out to be […]

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Do Au Pair Agencies Really Rematch Au Pairs Who’ve Violated Safety Rules?

by cv harquail December 30, 2013

When it comes to host parents asking for a rematch, there are many grey areas. Whose fault was the problem? Did the parties try hard enough to fix things? Is the issue worth rematching over? We can debate these questions in almost every case. Except one– when an au pair violates a safety rule. If […]

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When Host Moms Need Support and Not Just Advice

by cv harquail November 23, 2013

AuPairMom gets two kinds of emails– emails asking for advice on how or what to do, and emails asking for support in just dealing with whatever is happening. Interestingly, every email we get is BOTH of those types. Sometimes we know what we need to do. For example, almost every email asking ‘Should we go […]

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