Privacy and Family Time

Is Snooping in your Au Pair’s room ever okay?

by cv harquail February 6, 2010

_Users_celia_Library_Application-Support_ecto3_cache_5B4D2D15-848E-424E-9956-B0F099DCA1A7.jpeg

I got an email from “Undercover Host Mom” — she is struggling with this dilemma: Although we have a strict and absolute non-smoking policy, and discussed this before we matched with our au pair, I have come to wonder whether she is smoking in our car and maybe even in the house. (It’s hard to […]

67 comments Read the full article →

Your Brother’s Wedding vs. Her 21st Birthday: Whose priority wins? (Poll)

by cv harquail January 22, 2010

Here’s a tough situation that could use your advice! This host parent is facing what feels like a win/lose situation in a conflict between what the family wants and what the au pair wants. Check out the details, weigh in at the poll, and then offer some advice! Dear AuPairMom Readers– I was so glad […]

93 comments Read the full article →

Protect Your Au Pair’s Off-Duty Time

by cv harquail January 11, 2010

Au Pairs work hard. When they are off duty, they need their downtime. But, if they’re good au pairs, your kids probably like them and enjoy spending time interacting with them. Kids don’t always know the difference between on-duty and off-duty, so it’s our job as host parents to help au pairs protect their downtime. […]

21 comments Read the full article →

Your Au Pair’s Room: How much mess can you take?

by cv harquail December 14, 2009

A host mom sent me a few photos of her au pair’s bedroom (taken with the au pair’s permission). The host mom was agonizing, because the room was a freaking mess. This family’s au pair was following the two most important bedroom-related rules: No dirty dishes and no candles/incense. But otherwise the place was a […]

52 comments Read the full article →

Birth Control and Your Au Pair

by cv harquail November 5, 2009

I wasn’t really ready to blog about this particular topic, even though it’s on the list of 378 topics I brainstormed 18 months ago… We got an anonymous comment on a different post that raised the issue… so here we are. It can’t be any harder to blog about than it is to do! You […]

50 comments Read the full article →

When your personal, private challenges affect your Au Pair relationship

by cv harquail September 23, 2009

Often on this blog we talk about what’s happening between you and your au pair as the source of difficulties– but sometimes the difficulty is all of our own making. Things happen to us host parents — grandparents die, host parents divorce, someone loses a job, a parent gets hospitalized, a child is challenged, and […]

22 comments Read the full article →

“No Room at the Inn” because AP changed her plans. Now what? (Poll)

by cv harquail August 22, 2009

My au pair’s vacation is coming up. To cover for her, we’re having both sets of grandparents come stay over. They’ll be here for a month, but will overlap for a little over a week. The overlap will occur while the AP is on vacation. We have a smallish house – 3 bedrooms. Our “guest […]

84 comments Read the full article →

Gossip Girls: When your AP tells stories, what can you do?

by cv harquail August 18, 2009

Researchers in my field of organizational behavior&theory have found that gossip in organizations provides some useful functions, like lubricating relationships, creating interpersonal bonds, allowing people to express their fears, and perhaps most important, offering people an informal way to make sense of what’s going on around them. While it may be that gossip at work […]

29 comments Read the full article →

Part of the Family: The Au Pairs’ Perspective

by cv harquail July 2, 2009

Okay Au Pairs– It’s your turn to chime in… and share the au pair side of the ‘part of the family’ equation. What does it mean to you to be "part of the family"? What do host families do that helps you feel "part of the family"? What do host families do that takes away […]

48 comments Read the full article →

Part of the Family: What does that mean to you?

by cv harquail July 1, 2009

What does it really mean for your au pair to be "part of the family"? What do you do in your relationship with her that is different, if you treat her as "part of the family" versus if you don’t? Have you had the opportunity to compare the experience of a live-in caregiver who was […]

19 comments Read the full article →

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →