Host Family dynamics

We’re moving, and must rematch. How soon do we tell our au pair?

by cv harquail September 23, 2010
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We have a wonderful au pair who has been living with us for 2 months. Unfortunately, due to a family medical emergency, we need to relocate to the other coast within the next 6 weeks. We will not be able to take our au pair with us so she will need to rematch. We want […]

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My Potential Host Parents Might Be Divorcing. Should I ‘unmatch’?

by cv harquail September 14, 2010
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Dear Au Pair Mom, For the past couple of months, I had been looking for an Au Pair job in Europe (I am American), and finally found a great family via Aupair.com. I used your advice and evaluated the match by shared values, lifestyle, and mutual expectations. We seemed like a perfect fit, and everything […]

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Doubling Up on Au Pairs: Two Times the Challenge

by cv harquail June 27, 2010
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I’ve been hoping to get the host moms who have two au pairs at a time to write guest posts for us explaining how they make this work for them. It’s hard to find the energy and mind space to write reflectively about your au pair experiences… so believe me I understand the gap between […]

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Orienting an Au Pair when Host Mom can’t be there

by cv harquail June 26, 2010
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Dear AuPairMom, I have organized an au pair to come and help us for a month at the end of June. (This came through a work contact and I have spoken on the phone with the au pair and her mom) . My problem now is that I need to travel to the UK for […]

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Matching with an Au Pair: How much info to share about an Atypical Host Parent Situation

by cv harquail June 14, 2010
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Today’s Truth: Some of us are typical host parents, some of us are atypical host parents, and all of us are trying to be better host parents. I’ve been wanting to write about atypical parenting situations for a while now, but a conversation over the weekend has raised a particular situation where we can consider […]

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Au Pair Mom’s Mothers’ Day Challenge

by cv harquail May 8, 2010
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The annual celebration of Mothers’ Day offers us moms a chance to have breakfast in bed, or experience some other kind of treat from our family. It’s one particular day that we get a bit of positive feedback for the work that we do as moms, and it’s one day that we get to be […]

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Recent Widower / Single Host Dad: How to find the right au pair?

by cv harquail April 21, 2010
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Readers, Here’s a specific question about choosing the right au pair for a family that has lost their mom through tragedy. We had one host dad comment on our earlier post about single parents, and I know that there are at least two other host dad-readers who have lost their wives and who have hired […]

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Au Pairs and the Single Host Parent

by cv harquail April 18, 2010
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We haven’t talked much about the specific challenges of host parent – au pair relationships when there is only one parent, a single parent, involved. There are some challenges that are specific to the gender & orientation balance, of, say, a female au pair and a single host dad, or a male au pair and […]

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Au Pairs and Your Privacy: My Au Pair’s kindof nosy!

by cv harquail March 22, 2010
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When invite an au pair to come live in our home and be ‘part of the family’, our lives become an open book. Frustrated with your DS? Your au pair knows. Threw out 6 bags of organic greens that decomposed in the fridge? She saw it. Hoarding Thin Mints in your special cabinet even though […]

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Au Pair Asks: My Host Mom’s Boyfriend is cramping my (caregiving) style. Advice Please!

by cv harquail March 18, 2010
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When it’s the host parent herself or himself who is making the au pair’s job difficult, she knows exactly what to do — bring the issue up with that host parent, and come to a resolution. But what if the person causing the problems isn’t the host parent, but the host parent’s “friend”? The au […]

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