Host Family dynamics

What the best way to Pre-Match with an Au Pair, before connecting to an Agency?

by cv harquail September 1, 2011

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could meet a really terrific young person from anther country, discover that you had complementary world views, and THEN go through an official agency to engage him or her as an au pair? From time to time, we get questions from either parents or potential au pairs about how […]

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Struggling to Communicate With Host Dad

by cv harquail August 5, 2011

Every host parent has his or her own approach to interacting with their au pair. Our personalities affect some of this, but even more important is who has taken which role in the host parents – au pair relationship. When adults team up to become parents, homemakers and breadwinners, they divvy up these roles so […]

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What can Host Parents Do about Deceptive Agency Practices?

by cv harquail April 14, 2011

Readers, I must admit that these stories of being screwed by both agency & au pair get me upset. Thank goodness these stories are more rare than the terrific au pair and the perfectly fine au pairs we have little reason to need advice about. We all know that most au pairs, and most agency […]

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When Host Parents Disagree, once an Au Pair has let them down

by cv harquail January 29, 2011

When there is more than one host parent in the household, it’s important for host parents to present a united front. Parents & Partners need to agree on household rules, behavioral expectations, and childcare preferences, and communicate in agreement to the au pair. When host parents disagree, it is impossible for an au pair to […]

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How can we prepare our Au Pair for significant disruption?

by cv harquail January 4, 2011

Life brings us wave after wave of change. To move forward, we have to adapt to changes that happen to us and to changes that we make ourselves. And, as parents, we have to help our families anticipate and adapt to the changes we see coming, and to all the surprises we’re not quite able […]

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My Future Host Mom’s Sister is Creeping Me Out

by cv harquail November 28, 2010

Okay, “creeping me out” is clearly an American idiom that I have supplied as a headline, but that phrase seems to capture the dynamic going on for this cautious au pair. She’s matched with a family, and getting to know them through emails, etc. before she joins the family in a few months. The family […]

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When Grandma Interferes in the Au Pair-Host Parent Relationship

by cv harquail October 25, 2010

The only people who should be involved in the relationship between the Au Pair and his or her Host Parents are the au pair and the host parents. The au pair should get instruction and feedback directly from the parents, and the parents should focus on the au pair’s experiences with the family and the […]

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Au Pair Asks: What happens when you discover that you can’t provide what your Host Kid with Special Needs needs?

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

Dear AuPairMoms- What happens when the au pair is placed with a host family that has a special needs child, and it isn’t working out? Both the agency and the host family knew beforehand that the au pair did not have any previous experience with special needs, but the Au Pair chose to take the […]

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Finding an Au Pair for a child with Special Needs: Willingness is not enough

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

When I first noticed that au pairs could indicate with a simple check mark whether they were “willing” to match with a family with host kids with special needs, I was surprised. I was pleased that there was an easy way for au pair candidates to indicate, without embarrassment, whether or not they felt they […]

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Regulations & Additional Training for Au Pairs of Children with Special Needs

by cv harquail October 15, 2010

The guidelines of the US Dept. of State regarding au pairs states that : Au pairs may not be placed: In families with a special needs child, as identified by the family. The au pair can work with a special needs child if s/he has identified prior experience, skill, or training in caring for special […]

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